One and Done
by live0laugh0love0
Summary: A one shot feed for all things Castle. I'll write just about anything: AU, future, alternate endings, etc. So please feel free to send in your prompts! ***NEW PROMPT JUST POSTED!***
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there!**

**I was going to try and wait until Friday to post this, but I couldn't! Just a Valentine's day one shot. This particular feed, though, is my new one-shot feed hence the title "One and Done" (clever, right?) Anyway, I'll start with the one shots once I finish "Letters to You". Go check it out if you haven't already. And please send in your one-shot ideas and prompts. I need inspiration! So either review or DM me. Please and thank you!**

**Enjoy, and Happy early Valentine's Day!**

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><p>It had been an extremely long day. For a period of twenty four hours set aside for loving and admiring significant others, some people didn't get the message. They had had a homicide bright and early, seven o'clock to be exact. On top of having to work on Valentine's Day, Castle couldn't be there, hadn't been in a little over a week. He was in the middle of a book publication, which rendered him useless at the precinct; not by his own will, by Gina. So not only had she had to leave his nice, warm embrace before the sun came up, but she had to go through the day partner-less.<p>

So finally being home was more than welcome. She kicked her heals off and slid them to the side, still closing the door as she did. She tossed her keys in the dish on the table. Kate leaned up against the door, closing her eyes. The cool metal, and worn, oak wood of the door felt incredible on her back, helping her to unwind. She took a deep breath, tilting her head back. She was taking full advantage of the quiet. The precinct had been hectic, yelling, fighting, and nonsense all day, from start to finish.

The silence was welcome, but it's what she didn't hear by this point that concerned her. By now, if Castle was home before her, he would jump up from where ever he was and greet her in the doorway. He would gather her in a hug and kiss her, asking her how her day had been. Then, they'd decide on dinner and he'd open a bottle of wine. But she had been in the loft for five minutes, and still no sign of writer boy.

"Castle?" Kate took a few steps into the loft. It was still completely silent. She knew he was home; his keys were right next to hers. The silence was a small indication that he was up to something. She didn't know what, but it was definitely something.

She took a few more steps, ending up at the island. She listened a little more intently than before, trying to pinpoint where he was. Nothing above her moved, not even a floor board, which meant he was somewhere within a few feet of her. She looked around, trying to find something out of place; a book, a chair, anything that would give her a hint pertaining to his game.

"Rick?" Kate moved next into the office. The door to the bedroom was shut. _Gotcha! _Before she went to investigate their room, something on his desk caught her eye. A single, long-stem, red rose sat in the center, on top of the newest Nikki Heat novel. It was opened to the dedication page:

_To my beautiful wife. You inspire me in so many ways._

It was the first time she had seen it, and it left her with a school girl like smile on her face. After all this time, he still managed to keep her on her toes, surprise her, and find new ways to show his love for her. To some, it was just a dedication in another book; most would think she would expect it after the first dedication. But it was so much more. It signified the moments in between the first and the current. So much had happened, so many changes, and the dedications, though similar, were so unique and different from the other.

She brought the rose to her nose and smelled it, making her way back over to the door. She turned the knob slowly, and pushed it open, suddenly filled with anticipation and excitement to see what Castle had up his sleeve.

As soon as she opened the door, rose pedals and tea light candles blurred in front of her; cliché but perfect. He sat on the side of the bed, a bouquet of white roses in his hands. There was a tray sitting on the end of the bed, with chocolate covered strawberries and a bottle of that red wine that made her feel all... She couldn't contain the smile that spread across her face.

He stood up and walked over to where she was standing. "Happy Valentine's Day." He handed her the flowers and leaned in to kiss her.

Beckett couldn't contain her excitement as a blush crept up her neck. He still made her feel special. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"I see you saw the dedication." He motioned to the red rose in her hand.

She nodded and then met his gaze. "I did. Castle, it's beautiful, thank you." She walked over to the dresser, setting the flowers down, and reaching into her top drawer. She fished around until she found the box, pushed all the way to the back. "I got you something." She pulled it out and made her way back to where he was standing. "Here." She pushed the box towards him, hoping he would like it.

He smirked at her, and took it, eager to see what she had picked. No matter how old he got, he always loved presents. He ran a thumb over the top _Armani Exchange. _He opened the box to find a beautiful Meccanico style watch with a dark brown leather band. The face shown with rose gold, the gadgets and gizmos within twirled and danced. "Wow, Kate, it's amazing. Thank you so much."

"Do you like it?" She held her breath, hoping that she was getting good at the gift giving thing.

"I absolutely love it!" He took the watch out of its little nest, and wrapped it around his wrist. He pushed it to the light to examine it. He smiled at her again, going in for another kiss.

When they pulled apart, Castle smiled, no smirked. He had something up his sleeve. "My turn to give you your present." He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her reaction.

"Rick, I thought the dedication was my present? And all of this?" She gestured to the entire room. "It's too much!"

"Never too much for you my dear lady." He faked a British accent and backed up towards the bathroom, a look still on his face. "Wait here." He ducked into the bathroom, and returned, his back to her. Whatever he was holding, it was fairly large.

Kate stood still, her arms folded in front of her. She could only imagine what it could be. When he turned around, her mouth fell open. "Oh my gosh." She met him in the middle, taking her present in her arms.

"His name's Rocco." Castle proclaimed rather proudly as Kate took the Golden Retriever puppy out of his arms. "He's six weeks old."

Kate snuggled his closer, as the puppy licked her face. "Hey little guy." She laughed as he moved his paws to her shoulders, and started pawing at her hair. She laughed and moved him back down to secure him in her arms. "Rick, I love him."

"I know you always wanted a dog, and I found a breeder who was selling them just outside the city. I left my meeting early to pick him up." He reached out and petted the pup on the head, still looking at his wife.

"He's perfect. Thank you so much, for all of this." She gestured to the entire room and then back at the newest, little, fluffy Castle.

"You're welcome." He smiled at her again, he couldn't get enough of that look she got on her face when she was happy. It melted off of her and made him feel just as good. Seeing her happy was enough.

"So what do you say, want to open that bottle of wine?" Kate got that look on her face; the sassy, playfully smirk settling on her lips.

"Nope." Castle scooped Rocco out of her arms, pecked her on the lips, and made for the door. "Let's go play with the puppy!"

Kate rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the smile, that again, spread across her face. He was childish, and playful, and funny, and sweet, and so rightfully hers. She popped a strawberry in her mouth, before joining her husband and their new, little guy in the living room to forget about work and enjoy her Valentine's Day.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi there!**

**Prompt: Castle's reaction to Kate being undercover... I realize that this is most likely completely wrong, especially after seeing the sneak peek, but I never really write Rick so I thought I would see what you all think. **

**Thank you a million for the response on my Valentine's Day one shot. You all are awesome! Now, this feed will be for one shots. Also. not all of these one shots will be angst or sad. This was just something that I thought might be interesting.**

**Please send in prompts!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>He's scared. Completely and totally, consumed by the fear that has since been escalating every moment she's been gone and off the radar. It's paralyzing. He's paced the bullpen so many times that he's unaware of what's around him. He's bitten his nails to nothing but nubs. The crease in his forehead has been there for days, causing a never-ending headache. The weight on his chest that has settled causes him anxiety; a feeling he's never really felt before. A carefree man turned to an absolute mess. His team, their team, is swarming, doing anything and everything they can to find her and lift this weight that seems to be crushing him.<p>

There's no way of escaping this feeling of worthlessness. He can't do a damn thing. There have only been a handful of instances when he was powerless, reminded that he wasn't a cop, just playing one. It was those moments that drew him back to reality. Told him that this wasn't all fun and games, that they didn't solve crimes just for the books, that he was Richard Castle, just NY. It was those moments that he had to keep his distance and duck his head because he wasn't one of New York's finest; he was just a writer. This was one of those moments. Most often, he could shake it off, make a witty comment, and they would resume with their day. But this was so much different than most often. He never expected that this one would involve her life; one of the only times in his consultation that a case had hit close to home. This was a knock at the door, standing on your welcome mat closeness that made him want to vomit.

He had no way of getting to her, knowing where she was, knowing what to do, no control, no authority, no nothing. What scared him the most was that no one knew. No one had an exact pinpoint on her whereabouts. She was undercover, it was normal to be invisible, but this wasn't part of the plan, she wasn't supposed to stay invisible. _In the wind_. He had heard her say that so many times about suspects. They had always caught them, though. Now she was gone and they were trying to find her. A sick game of hide and seek that they usually won. He just hoped they would find her and not have to call Ollie Ollie oxen free. So, he watched night and day as the entire precinct buzzed with activity. Narcotics mixing with homicide in an attempt to bring back the best homicide detective in New York City.

He had made the timeline, wouldn't let anyone else do it. He had included everything; where she started, where she could be, where they thought she was, people, places, things. Anything that might get her back went on that board. He stared at it for long stretches of time trying with everything in him to come up, for once, with a logical theory that would bring her back and get her out of the hands of these people. He tried to think that maybe it was their own fault. Maybe everything was going as planned and they were the ones that had screwed up. He tried to believe that she was fine and she was on her way home. But he knew, deep down, that that wasn't true. So he would go back to thinking, letting his imagination wonder.

But that was probably the worst thing he could do. God, he could only imagine what she was going through. She was strong, but that didn't stop him from worrying. He was protective of her, and not being able to protect the one you love was maddening. His over active imagination let images of horrid, underground activities tug at his emotions, making it that much harder on him. No matter how hard he tried to stop them, no matter how hard he tried to focus on something else, images of water torture, firearms, and disrespectful, filthy men, danced in his head.

All he wants is to hold her. Wrap his arms around her and be reminded that she's okay. He wants to look into her eyes, examine her scar, smell her cherry shampoo, and hear her laugh. Anything concrete. All he wants is a sign that she's okay and that she knows they're trying. They've been through life threatening ordeals together before. But the key word was _together_. And this time, they were not. This time, she was alone and helpless. This time, he was worthless. She had no one to turn to; no backup, no reassurance, no comfort.

He's never been much of a holy man. He's gone to church on holidays, said a prayer here and there; but these last two days, he's been talking to the man upstairs as often as he can. Pleading with Him to keep her safe and bring her back. Asking that just this one time, a case will have a happy ending for someone. All he's asking is for this one thing. He can't help but regret all the times he'd passed a church or cursed God's name; it just couldn't be good karma. He sat in the break room, head down resting in his hands, pleading that they find her. It had been two days, and nothing; the odds got worse by the hour from here on out.

It was this particular time, the second instance he'd prayed that morning, when the phone in the Captain's office rang. She reached it before the first ring ended. Castle's head shot up as Gates' did, and they made harsh eye contact. He jumped up, racing for her office. Her conversation was quick, the person on the other end doing most of the talking. When the other person had finally finished speaking, she exchanged a thank you for his information before slamming the phone back to the receiver. It was then that she looked him in the eye, uttering three simple words. "We got her."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi there!**

**Another one shot based on 6x17... I had to! It was incredible, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry. That letter! Stana was phenomenal, and it's arguably the best episode of the series.**

**Anyway, this is during the water torture scene. Just my take on what she was thinking.**

**Thank you to all who read my last one shot. Your response was amazing! Also, like I said, not all of these will be sad and angst. I just had to write this; too good to pass up.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>She's so cold. Her bones are aching and her throat is burning as she's forced face first into the water. Her hands are bound behind her back making it impossible for her to even have a millimeter of control over the situation; she's trapped. Her knees are cut up from kneeling, and she knows she's going to feel ten times worse tomorrow; if she makes it. It's that sliver of doubt, that unknown, that possibility that is making it ten times harder to have faith in the situation. She wants more than anything to make it, but she's a realist; knows her odds. She's just being practical. It's the first time in her entire life that she wishes she was not.<p>

She's struggling and squirming and fighting with everything she has, but as she's pushed into the icy water yet again, she can feel her reflexes failing her. The icy mixture is slowing everything down. Soon, she won't be able to fight. But she continues to at this moment, because she wants to live; has so much left to look forward to. She has him and their wedding and their lives together. She's not yet ready to give that up.

Oh how she wishes that her only worry for today was choosing fonts and center pieces and cakes. Wishes that they at least had a venue. It's now that she's realizing she had taken it for granted, had brushed it off knowing that it would eventually get done. She thought she had all the time in the world to sit down and plan it all out when and how she wanted to. Now, she wasn't so sure. Now, she didn't know if she would even see tomorrow. Now, all she wanted was to pick a font.

She's still underwater, gnashing and jerking when she knows she needs to breathe. The overwhelming desire for fresh oxygen is all she can think about. Just as she's about to take a breath, she's pulled out by her hair, her head thrust backwards as she gasps for breath. She can't help the weak, little cries that escape her lips as she's trying to catch her breath, needing all the oxygen in the world before she's forced back into the tub.

But when she's met with the face of the man she's confronted before, asking her to tell him what she knows, him having the audacity to speak her mother's name, a jolt of electricity surges through her. She jumps at him, wanting more than anything to put a bullet through his skull. But she's pulled back by her hair again, and pushed back, deep into the water that threatens to end her.

The next few moments are a living hell. Her head is violently slapped into the water over and over, her hair choking her and blocking her vision. The turtleneck tightly gripping her neck puts added pressure on her airway. She can't distinguish between air and water as she chokes, hoping for a clean breath. Her scalp is raw as the man continues to pull at her hair, in and out; she can feel it being torn out as some hangs, dripping wet in front of her eyes.

It's upon the last time that she's dunked so violently that she has no more strength to fight. She's been struck in the temple somewhere between point A and B, and everything hurts. The pain is radiating throughout, making her nauseous. She's so cold. Her body slumps in the water, eyes open, breath still barely held, as the water sits motionless around her face. She's starting to accept defeat, knows that she can't withstand this torture any longer. She's fought as hard as she can, and she realizes she can't win every fight. Just as she's about to give up, just as she's about to breathe just under the surface of the water, she can feel the hand of her captor pull her hair once more. She can barely keep her eyes open, exhaustion setting in, her breaths shallow and helpless.

And there he is, in her face, demanding answers. He's blurry, his words muffled by the chill of her torture. It's then that she realizes just how weak she is at this point; she's alone, and cold, and done. She has no ability to focus, has no strength left to fight as her eyes roll back in her head in defeat.

She swears she hears a chuckle as she's thrown to the ground, her head hitting the concrete hard. It sends a sharp pain through her skull and down her spine, but she can't feel it; everything is numb. She continues to move, though. Hands still tied behind her back, she curls into a ball, small wheezes pumping through her, her lungs begging for air.

She can hear them speaking, but cannot decipher what it is. Everything is foggy, and she's still so cold. As they scoop her up again, she realizes that the fight is not over. They still have games to play. But she no longer wants to play; has no desire to participate for one more second. She doesn't know how much longer she can do this. Doesn't see how her body can take much more. But she will, for him. She has to get back to him. She loves him with all her heart and she wants to walk down the aisle and say I do. She has so much still to live for.

So she takes another shaky breath and waits for round two. She's in the belly of the beast, and she's trying with everything she has to crawl out, trying to make it back to him. She will; she has to. She just has to.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi there!**

**Okay, I'm crazy , but here's another one shot based off of 6x17. Prompt by sarahspencer125: Beckett tells Castle about the letter after she has a nightmare. Thanks for your review!**

**Also, thanks to everyone else who had reviewed, favorited, and followed. You all are incredible.**

**Always taking prompt ideas, so please don't hesitate.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>She was in the woods, the darkness suffocating her. Everything was different in the dark; more dead terrifying. Every step was becoming harder and harder to take, fatigue finally setting in. But she had to keep going, had to keep fighting, because as of now, she was marching to her death. Completely humiliating and inhumane, she walked with a gag down her throat and her hands tied behind her back, being led like she was some kind of animal.<p>

She was barely listening to what he was saying, only focusing on what was in front of her, until her feet were kicked out from under her and she tumbled down the embankment, flipping like a ragdoll. She landed in a pile, her body aching. She bit her tongue, attempting to muffle the cry of pain and exhaustion that exploded out of her. She sat up, trying her hardest to stay brave; when all she wanted was to break.

She tried waging a deal with him, the barrel of the gun pointed directly at her head. She was used to talking people out of things, off of ledges, and away from mistakes. But this man didn't care what she had to say, didn't care that she was a cop, and didn't care that she had plans for the future. She wanted to live, she wanted to see another day, and if that meant letting him have anything he wanted, then so be it. She had better things to worry about like a certain writer and her wedding.

But as the scene before her changed from what she remembered, she panicked. Where was Elena? Why wasn't she here? Why was she still facing the gun, a ready hand on the trigger? She had replayed the horrific events over and over until every detail was engrained in her memory, and this just wasn't right. Everything was eerily silent as a menacing grin spread across Harden's face. And then, everything happened in slow motion, she knew exactly what was coming next, as his finger tugged on the trigger. She tried to duck, curl up and become invisible, but with one last scream, the shot went off.

Kate shot up in bed, a cold sweat covering her body. It had felt so real; like she had come that much closer to losing her life than she already had. What she had endured was enough, but her dreams made it so much worse. Her heart was racing, the shear panic of the nightmare running through her veins. She ran her hand through her hair, her ears ringing, and tears threatening to fall.

And then she heard him, right beside her, whispering her name. Still laying down, one hand over his face, he rubbed her back, stopping to massage her neck. She was safe and out of harm's way and he was here. The memories were still too fresh, still too vivid in her mind, though, and the combination of that stress and his reassuring tone finally made her break. The tears fell silently, just barely noticeable even to her. But now her thoughts were dancing through her brain, and she had to get it out.

"I wrote you." She turned slightly to look at him, her voice barely a whisper. "A letter. While I was in the house. I didn't know if."

"Kate." He finally sat up, cutting her off, the realization of what she was saying hitting him.

"No let me finish. I was sitting there thinking about all the times I haven't told you I love you or how much I appreciate you. I don't say the things that I should nearly enough, because you deserve to hear it every day. And I was so scared that I wasn't going to have the chance to ever say it again." She wiped at her face and sniffled, her words tumbling out.

"You don't have to, I know." He nodded, wiping a stray tear off her cheek with the pad of his thumb.

She sat there with her knees tucked into her chest, her arms wrapped around them securely. "No, but I do. I do have to tell you because you don't get to hear it enough. I, I just want you to know that what we have and what we've been doing; all those years of partnership and now our relationship, Rick it's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I'm so lucky to have found you, and I'm even luckier to get to spend the rest of my life with you. You're an amazing man, and I love you."

"Is that what it said? The letter?"

She nodded, grabbing his hand and holding it to her own cheek. She wanted to feel as close to him as possible.

"You're incredible." He pulled her into his side, holding her as close to him as he could. He knew all of these things, could see it in her actions. He saw it when she brought him coffee in bed, or when she let him order the appetizer he wanted. Something as simple as a smile told him all of that and more, and the fact that she had thought of him when her life was in jeopardy made her love for him all that more extraordinary.

"I don't ever want to be in a position again where I'm unsure that you know all of that. I don't want that uncertainty for me or the unknown for you. I love you and I couldn't ask for anything better."

He kissed her as a reply, feeling the need to show her how he felt. He truly had no words; she found yet another way to surprise him and render him speechless.

They sat this way, her in his arms for a moment longer, letting the silence settle. Kate settled down, her heart rate slowing and her mind clearing, until she was finally able to attempt to go back to sleep. She shifted downward, Castle doing the same, until they were arranged comfortably; her wrapped in his arms.

It was quiet for a moment longer before Castle spoke. "Always."

"Wanna know something?" She whispered half asleep.

"Hmm?"

A small smile appeared on her lips, that one word meaning everything to them. "That was in the letter too."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi there!**

**Prompt: Beckett talks to their daughter the night before her last cross country race.**

**I know this is kind of an odd prompt, but I myself run cross country so I thought it was something a little different. I can also see Beckett as being a little bit crazy about their kids sports, so why not explore that a little bit?**

**Always accepting prompt ideas, so please send them in!**

**Thank you for your awesome reviews, for favoriting, and following!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>She didn't know what it was, but something pulled her out of unconsciousness. She didn't know if it was a dream, or a noise, or movement from the other side of the bed, but she knew she hadn't woken naturally.<p>

She turned to examine Castle who was still dead asleep. He was facing her, his face relaxed and breathing even. She smiled to herself; after all these years, she still couldn't get enough of him. She pushed a lock of his hair, streaked with grey, away from his forehead, the nervous wrinkles just barely noticeable. He had been up for hours, pacing the office, checking and rechecking the ranks, and performing his own pre-race rituals that he had started over the years, until he finally came to bed.

He was their daughter's biggest supporter, well behind herself, and he was just as nervous as Marley was about the next day. She had worked harder than most, and this was her final opportunity to show the entire state what she was made of. She couldn't help but look back on their daughter's cross country career. She had started at the bottom of the varsity team her freshman year, and race after race, year after year, had moved up in the ranks. She arrived at practice early, and left after the coaches. She was more dedicated than any athlete to go through the sport, and her races showed for that.

She was the number one runner on the team for three years, and ranked in the state for two. Marley went to state the year before, and had barely missed placing. It was that day that she had gone up to her mother and told her what she wanted. "I'm first next year. That title is mine."

Beckett had simply nodded, knowing that her runner would do everything she had to to reach her goal. She had her mother's determination, and her father's persistence.

It was then that Kate realized what had woken her up. She noticed it was unusually cold in the loft, the early fall air crisp, sending a chill down her spine. She slipped out of bed and into her robe and slippers to search for the source of her waking. She didn't have to go far when she saw that the patio door was cracked just enough. She padded slowly towards it, peeking outside.

"Marley, what are you doing? You should be in bed." Kate pushed the door the rest of the way open and closed the distance between herself and her daughter.

Marley sat, legs tucked under herself, covered in her varsity letterman jacket, her long curls tumbling around her face. She was staring out into the sky as if waiting for something or looking for answers. Kate sat beside her silently, waiting for her to speak.

"What if I can't do it, Mom? What if I put all of this work into these four seasons, and I choke?" She looked at her mom, eyes worried.

Kate gave her a reassuring grin, squeezing her arm gently. "I want you to think about what you told me last year at states. When you finished, you came straight to me. You marched your little spandexed butt through a creek to talk to me. And you had this look on your face that I had never seen before. You were so determined; and you told me that you were gonna do it. You said that the title was yours." She paused for a second, letting her story sink in. "Marley, I've seen how hard you've worked this year, I've been at the races, and I've seen you improve. I know that you can do this."

"I'm ranked second though."

"Oh please." Beckett rolled her eyes. "That website has no idea what it's talking about."

"I want this more than anything." Marley turned to face her mom then, biting her bottom lip; a nervous trait she had acquired from her.

"And you have it. You know how to race, Mar. You've done this before and you can do it again. I've got more faith in you than you know."

She smiled, looking down at the metals on her jacket. "Can't believe tomorrow's it. Seems like it was just my first race yesterday."

Tears blurred Kate's vision. It was sinking in that this part of their life was coming to a close. Every long car ride, every early morning, every cold, wet field that she and Castle trotted through to watch their daughter, every cow pasture, every actual live, scary cow, and every fast food lunch was now almost gone. All those things that seemed so unappealing to most were going to be missed when it was all over. Four years had flown by. She had watched her daughter grow from a small, intimidated freshman, to a confident, determined young woman; her timid demeanor replaced with confidence on the starting line. "No matter what happens, I'm so so proud of you."

"Thanks, mom." Marley smiled again, leaning in to hug her mom.

Kate met her halfway, squeezing her tightly. When she pulled back, she held onto her shoulders. "And no matter what happens tomorrow, kick ass."

"Plan on it." She wriggled her nose, a fire lit in her eyes.

"Now get to bed. You have a big day tomorrow." Kate pulled her up, leading her into the house.

When she tucked back into bed, Castle stirred. "Everything alright?"

"Just some pre-race jitters." She scooted closer to him, stealing the warmth.

"Mhm." He closed her in a hug, his breathing evening out again.

Kate lay there for a moment, listening to the rise and fall of his chest. She thought about the next morning again, thinking about their final moment as race parents, hoping they would be bringing home that state champion trophy. She smiled to herself once more letting out a content sigh. She was sad it was going to be over, but not so sad about leaving the cows to themselves.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi there!**

**Wow, what a busy couple of weeks! So sorry for the lack of updates and being MIA. **

**Here's another one shot. Prompt by caskettshipper3: Beckett and Castle as a couple in middle/high school. Thanks for the prompt! I chose to write them as high school seniors towards the end of the year.**

**Thank you for your amazing responses to my last one shot. So appreciated! Please send in prompts through reviews or PM.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Hey, Becks!" She heard her name before she saw the face. A typical greeting by one of her classmates as they roamed the front lawn before first bell. She waved in the general direction all while checking her email for college acceptance letters and looking to be sure the prom posters had been hung correctly.<p>

Everyone at school called her Becks; every last one. From her teachers to her friends to the lunch lady that scanned her ID. She had been branded with the term of endearment her freshman year like most, and that was that. Now, three fourths of the way through her senior year, she was still "Becks."

But despite all of the people that used that term religiously, one individual did not; the only one out of almost two thousand people who used her real name.

"Kate!"

She went to turn to look, but a pair of hands sporting a class ring, one that she wore often, covered her eyes before she could do so.

"Guess who?" He moved close to her, whispering in her ear. The scent of something woodsy and earthy hitting her nose; she loved it.

She couldn't help the smile that graced her lips as she played his little game. "I have no idea! Give me a hint!" She tried to turn around, but she was locked up tight, blinded by a pair of hands.

"Well." He stopped for a moment, breathing out. "You know me pretty well. You come to my baseball games a lot. And." He pulled her a little closer so her back met his chest. "I really, really like kissing you."

"Hmm, this is a tough one." Kate scratched her head in mock concentration. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess Rick?"

"Wow, you're pretty good at this." He still didn't release her.

Kate shrugged. "I've had a bit of practice, you know."

All of a sudden, the lawn and early morning sunrise were revealed to her, her reward for guessing correctly. She turned to finally greet her boy, a blush pigmenting her cheeks.

There he stood, a bouquet of flowers in his hand, his baseball jersey sporting number twenty three, waiting for her reaction.

"Awe!" Was all she could say as her hands shot up to cover her mouth. She moved quickly to peck him on the lips. "For me?"

"Of course." He held the daisies out to her, prompting her to take them. "And actually, there's a question that goes along with it."

The excitement started bubbling inside of her. She knew what he was going to ask, had been expecting it for a couple of weeks. She knew they were going to go together already, that was known by everyone at school. But now, with just five days before the dance, he was finally asking her to be his date.

"Will you, Katherine Beckett, do me the honor of being my date to our senior prom?" Rick stood in front of her, his hands in his pockets, a bashful look on his face.

"I thought you'd never ask." She kissed him, lacing her fingers together around his neck. He pulled her close, a smile on his face.

They broke apart when they heard someone cat calling from across the lawn. Javi stood waiting for Lanie watching their every move. Even from where they stood, they could see him raise an eyebrow and point at them, knowing what was going on.

Kate laughed, turning back to face Rick. He pulled her close again. "So, what do you say we skip today and go somewhere more private?" His tone was suggestive, one eyebrow shooting up.

She shot him down immediately. "Can't. I have a physics test second period and a student council meeting for after prom during lunch. Plus, I'm pretty sure you have a paper due tomorrow, so you better go to the library and do. It." She poked his chest, sticking out her tongue.

"Way to be a fun sucker." All of a sudden, Rick threw Kate over his shoulder and made a break for the front door of the school.

All the while Kate was squealing, "Put me down! Rick! I swear I'm going to kill you!"

"You'll have to find time in your busy schedule to do it!" He spun around for emphasis, placing her neatly on her feet at the front door. "Well since I have free period this hour and you have to be a busy bee, I'm going to run down to the corner and grab a coffee. The usual?"

"Please?" She answered his, readjusting her sweater and checking her phone again; a nervous habit. When she was busy, like always, she constantly had to feel as though she was in complete control. "And thank you for the flowers. They're beautiful babe."

"Anything for you." He removed his baseball hat, pushing his hair back, and placing it back on his head. "Now I need to go so I can get you your coffee before your test."

"Okay, and don't be late for your class either! The last thing we need is for you to be in trouble right before prom." She pointed a finger at him; not only did she have to be on top of her own schedule, but his also.

"Me, in trouble?" He gestured to himself, a shocked expression on his face. "Never."

Kate giggled, the sarcasm dripping off of him. "Yeah, whatever." She kissed him again and poked him on the nose. "Now go. I'll see you soon."

"Love you." He started backing up to turn and head to the café on the corner of the block.

"I love you, too." She called after him, waving her fingers. She turned to go into school, clutching her books to her chest, a smile playing on her face. It was times like these that she stopped and realized how happy she was with her life. She pushed her nose into the flowers before making her way into the building to start her day.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi there!**

**Prompt from Lady Allana Solo: What if Montgomery didn't die in the hanger but still killed Lockwood? ..Thanks for sending it in!**

**As always, thanks for reviewing, following and favoriting, and please send in any prompts you'd like me to write!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The shots rang out as Rick held Kate up against the squad car, doing everything in his power to calm her down. He'd never seen her so hysterical before; honestly didn't know she was capable of it. But she had just had her world turned completely upside down. She deserved to be hysterical.<p>

But there were men not five hundred feet away that wanted her dead. So no matter how much she deserved to question and scream and retaliate, he couldn't let her. He would never be able to forgive himself if he let her go in there.

"Rick, please!"

"Shh, Kate, shh." He smoothed her hair back away from her face and cupped his other hand across her mouth, trying desperately to muffle the sobs that were shaking her body. She reached a hand up, placing it on his cheek in response. She slid down the side of the car, but Castle's arm caught her and supported her weight.

They stood this way for no more than two minutes when the air was filled with silence. The gunshots were a mere memory, and the faint sound of squealing tires weaved in and out, melding with the silence. Kate broke free of his grasp, making a break for the hanger. She wanted nothing more than to find Roy and have her questions answers; all she wanted was the truth.

Her heels echoed as she stormed in, zeroing in on where her captain lay. His face was pale, all the muscles contorted as he took shallow breaths in and out. His left hand was draped across the wound, the other still holding his firearm. "Sir."

"I'm okay. Just call an ambulance." Roy's voice was raspy, his eyes just barely open. His breaths were becoming shallower as the time ticked on.

"Castle!" Kate screamed frantically, eyes darting to the door that she had entered in. He appeared moments later, praying to God that she was okay. "Call nine one one. Now!" He did as he was told as she went into autopilot, applying pressure to the wound and surveying her surroundings. She was in another mindset; being a cop, until she heard a small voice.

"Kate."

She looked at him, barely realizing that he had said a single word. "No, you're okay." Tears stung her eyes. Seeing him like this, her mentor fighting for his life, was terrifying.

"I killed him."

"You what?" Her eyes widened at his words.

"I killed Lockwood." Roy almost attempted a smile, but winced as pain shot through his abdomen again.

Beckett breathed out, blinking back fresh tears. As frustrating and confusing as all of this new information was, she felt a huge weight being lifted off of her shoulders. One of the many ghosts of her past had been eliminated, but was replaced by the unthinkable: Montgomery was involved. "We're gonna get you out of here," was all she could say as the silence was filled with the distant sound of sirens wailing.

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><p>It had been three days since the shooting. They had had to tell the truth, parts of it. They seemingly left out the part about Roy being a renegade cop, because he had saved Kate's life. She had to repay him. If that meant lying to her co-workers, then so be it. Montgomery had made it, just barely. But he was alive and finally ready for visitors. As soon as Beckett heard the news, she knew this was her chance to finally get answers.<p>

But when she left her apartment, she didn't, couldn't, go straight to the hospital. So there she was, at his door, relying on him to help her through this. The first time she had done anything like this in a long time. "What am I even going to say to him? He was involved with it all and I never knew. He _lied_ to me." She paced the floor, hands on her forehead; she could feel a headache coming on.

He stood off to the side, his arms folded in front of his chest. "I know, but you need to talk to him. You need to hear the whole story. You deserve to."

She stopped pacing and looked at him. "What if I'm not ready to hear it?"

"You're ready, Kate. You've been ready for a really long time." He eliminated the gap between them, pulling her into his arms.

She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his waist. She just needed a hug. She needed him and she had no problem admitting it. "Will you go with me? Please?" She broke free from his embrace and looked him in the eyes.

"You really want me to?" Castle folded his arms again.

Kate nodded and bit her lip. She really did.

They entered the hospital, getting directions from the nurses as they went. The corridor twisted and turned, turning into different wings and rooms. Finally, when they made it to recovery, they stopped. The nurse that had been leading them addressed them both.

"Roy Montgomery is in three twenty, first door on the left. We'd appreciate only one visitor at a time, but if you're quiet, it should be okay for both of you to go in." She smiled at them before returning to her post.

"Ready?" Castle faced her, trying to soften his express. But his nerves were just as wired as hers.

"I guess so." She bit her lip and took a deep breath before pushing open the door to three twenty.

The room was all white; an unsettling antiseptic smell perfuming everything. The sounds of a heart monitor beeped every few seconds signaling a life still lived. Montgomery sat in bed, his eyes fixated on something out the window. He was alone.

"Sir." She choked out, breaking the silence.

Roy looked at then, his eyes tired, but fully aware. "It's good to see you two."

"You as well, Sir." Castle nodded in his direction. The atmosphere was tense; the questions lingering. The elephant in the room apparent to all three.

Kate sat in the chair next to the bed facing him, not wasting any time. "I have a few questions." Castle stood behind her, a supportive hand resting on her shoulder.

Montgomery looked both of them in the eye. "And I have answers."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi there!**

**Wow, what a crazy busy couple of weeks. Apologies for the lack of updates, but I promise I'll be posting regularly very soon. But thank you all for being so patient with me and for all your amazing reviews!**

**This prompt is from Maria: Their first time after always. Thanks for your review! Also, I'm always accepting prompts!**

**I do want to say this before you read; I found this harder than I thought it would be. When I finally sat down to write it, I remembered what an iconic scene this was and the expectation of the bedroom scene. That being said, I hope I did it justice.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Beckett, what do you want?" He stood firm, both feet planted firmly on the floor. The look on his face no more than a stone expression. She was the last person he expected to see at his door. Kate stood in the entry way, clothes soaked through and water dripping from her hair.<p>

She couldn't help the desperation that radiated off of her, her gaze never leaving his cold eyes. She was tired of lying. "You." Wasting not another second, she closed the gap between them, bringing her lips to his in a longing, almost panicked way. They stayed this way for just a moment before she pulled back, still holding his head in her hands, their foreheads resting on the others. "I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She found his lips again, but this time shorter than the first.

Castle pushed her back, catching her wrist, still keeping her close. It was then that he saw the tears streaming down her face; something he'd seen only a few times before. Now curiosity and worry flooded his mind. "What happened?"

Her eyes scanned his face, her thoughts everywhere and nowhere. She was only consumed in this moment. "He got away, and I didn't care." Her lips turned up just slightly, her eyes still locked with his, mesmerized by her closeness and willingness and eagerness. "I almost died, and all I could think about was you." Kate averted her eyes, looking at his lips, "I just want you." She leaned in again, this time hesitantly, before touching his cheek as if it were porcelain about to break under her touch. Those were the last words either of them spoke; the calm before the storm.

A crack of thunder burst through the sky before both bodies crashed up against the door, slamming it closed. Lips found lips in a frenzy of impatience, all those years of built up tension exploding just inside the door to the loft. Every missed moment, every lost opportunity, every wasted chance was un-bottled and exploded as they kissed the other.

Castle found her neck, kissing down to her collarbone as Kate clung to his shirt. Their lips met again before they both stopped. The air was quiet as he un-buttoned the top button of her blouse, revealing the small, circular scar that was the definition of _them_. It was their meeting, their fights, their annoyance, their flow. It was their relationship or lack thereof, it was anything and everything they had gone through together. It was what defined them. She guided his hand to it, placing it lightly over the wrinkled skin.

She realized how close she came to losing it all because of her stubbornness and her walls and her reservations. She didn't want to be that person anymore. She wanted to be something new, something with him. She wanted to let him in. So she accepted _them_. She let go.

She found his lips again, a lone hand on his cheek as they continued to kiss in the dim lighting of the loft. Castle looked her in the eyes, this time sensing something whimsical; a twinkle almost. They stared at each other, a smile on her face, and a look of wonder on his, before they joined hands. Her tiny fingers laced with his, guiding her to the bedroom.

He walked with her backwards, a hand on the small of her back, the other holding her neck. She continued to kiss him, letting him guide her to where she wanted to be. Castle lifted her up, and she reacted, wrapping her legs around his waist as he finished the short journey to the bedroom; he didn't want to waste any more precious time. He lowered her to the bed, their lips never parting. They had found a rhythm, a natural attraction and flow that could only surface from two people that were meant to be together.

He hovered over her, their eyes wild with desire. He had to know, had to make sure that what they were doing was okay. Because he knew if they did this, nothing would ever or could ever be the same. "You're sure?"

"I've never been more sure of anything." She nodded, reaching frantically for the buttons of his shirt. She un-did each one, exposing his chest, and peppering his skin with soft kisses as she went.

He couldn't take the suspense, ripping his shirt over his head, and un-clasping his belt himself. Kate finished unbuttoning her shirt, letting it fall to the floor, as Castle shimmied his jeans and boxers off, letting them drop at the foot of the bed. She worked the waist band of her own pants down around her thighs and around her ankles before kicking them to the side and away from her.

When he returned his attention to her, he positioned himself over her again, his eyes wild with lust. He had waited so patiently for four years; letting her have her space or be their when she needed him. Now, she _wanted_ him, and he wasn't questioning it for a single second. Castle reached behind her, un-clasping her bra and working it off of her shoulders. His fingertips grazed her body, first at her collarbones, and soon trailing downwards to her exposed chest. He pleasured her, his hands drawing circles on her breasts, his lips focused on her neck. She breathed out heavily, her head falling back as he continued his actions. She wrapped her arms around to his back, pulling him to her. Her fingertips grazed his back, working up and down his spine and getting caught in his hair. He couldn't help the goose bumps that raised up on the exposed skin of his back; having her so close was better than he had ever imagined.

Slowly, he lowered himself closer to. They broke apart, their eyes meeting. Their pupils dilated and breaths heavy, their animalistic desires just barely contained. They were both completely exposed to the other, no more secrets or guards. This was a new beginning, this was it. Neither had to say a word; it was as if they were connected to each other on a different level than most. They knew what the other was thinking or needed or wanted. Now, they both craved the same thing.

Finally, he was one with her and her one with him. They moved with such fluidity as the tension melted away, leaving a raw and passionate love. Their desire for one another eminent as moans escaped them, lips still crashing together.

Castle moved inside of her, as she let out a breathy moan in response. She never let her hands break contact with him, resting them on his chest or lightly on his cheek. He couldn't help the cry that forced its way past his teeth. Neither had felt so strongly for another in their entire existence. This was purely passion. This was love; an unconditional, absolute, unrestricted hunger for the other that neither had felt until now.

They continued like this well into the early hours of the next day. Both were greedy and hungry and eager, wanting to experience this for as long as possible. They had waited too long to feel like this, and now neither knew if they ever wanted to stop; they wanted to feel this way for eternity. Finally, they crashed to the bed, this time, conforming their bodies together. He wrapped her up in his embrace and she burrowed close to him. Their legs tangled under the covers, their bodies as close as humanly possible. He ran a hand through her hair as she drew small circles on his chest, the air silent between them, until they fell unconscious in each other's arms. And in that moment, and the ones preceding, everything changed.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi there!**

**I have another one shot for you, this one coming from PenguinsPenguinsPenguins: A Killshot continuation scene of her breakdown after she tells the paramedic to take the lady and runs to the other room. Castle goes after her and sees the bandages on her arms for the first time while he's comforting her. Thank you for sending this and the others!**

**Thank you for all your amazing reviews, they are so nice to read. If you have prompts you'd like to see, feel free to send them in! Also, for those of you who have sent in prompts, I will be doing them all shortly.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Just go, get her out of here, go!" She could barely keep it together as she turned from the victim and ran. She couldn't distinguish Emily's terror from her own. Emily had been shot at; she had been shot at. Emily was alive; she was alive. Emily would have to live with this fear and trauma and pain; she was living it.<p>

Panic sparked deep within her, rising into her chest, choking and crushing her. She pulled her gloves off as she ran, trying desperately to calm herself down. She couldn't do this right now, not here. Not with him watching her.

"Beckett!"

No. She could feel her breathing becoming rigid as tears pricked at her eyes. _No, no, no. Don't do this. You're fine. _Was all she could think as she continued to search for somewhere safe to go.

"Kate?"

She couldn't turn around. She couldn't respond. She went for the first door she saw, she had to get away. Employees only. She swung it open, making sure no one saw her enter and that it was closed behind her. She just needed a minute. She just needed to get away and be alone for one minute to let herself breathe. She was stronger than this.

But it didn't go away. The panic turned to fire as the walls closed in around her. And where the fire danced around her, ice swept over just as quickly. Everything inside of her was at war making it hard to determine what was real and what wasn't. Her chest was heavy and her head was pounding as her limbs tingled with every gesture. The shear horror of it all came crashing back, making her anxiety spiral out of control. Kate ripped off her coat, desperately trying to put out the fire and melt the ice. She soon found her gun and her badge, her armor, being tossed in the pile on the floor as a last ditch effort to expel herself of any reminder of her trauma. She was naked without it, but since the shooting, she was naked with it also.

But the weight in her chest persisted. She pressed her palms into the wall in front of her, her breathing mixing with whimpers as the hallway started spinning. She was frantic now, knowing she had no control over anything that was happening; she was powerless. She leaned her back against the far wall, her whimpers being replaced by sobs as tears streamed down her face. It was just too much for her to handle; she wasn't strong enough.

Kate rubbed her forehead as a last ditch effort to calm herself down, but the bandage on her arm brought all the memories back from the night before, the alcohol, the coffee table, the gun, sending her into a state of terror. She didn't want to think of the shooting, but no matter how hard she tried not to think of it, it was always there. The corners of her vision started to blur as she slid down the wall and into a pile on the floor. The blurriness turned to black spots until his voice heightened her awareness enough for her to see straight.

"Kate?"

She could hear the door close behind him. He was coming and he was going to see her like this. But it was no use trying to hide what was happening. So she sat on the floor, sobbing and taking gasps of air frantically, letting it consume her.

"Kate?" He was there now, standing over her.

"Castle." She choked out as he hurried to her side. She sat there, her back to the wall and her head leaned back, eyes closed.

"Oh, God." He squatted down next to her, hesitant at first, not knowing how she would react. But he couldn't let her sit on the floor sobbing, so he gathered her in his arms. "You're okay. You're safe, Kate."

She crumbled into him, allowing him to hold her, allowing him to be there for her and be her sanity and control while she couldn't. She could barely hold it together, still, her tears staining his dress shirt. She buried her face deeper, trying to muffle the sounds that were escaping her lips. She just wanted this to go away.

He rubbed her back as she cried, trying to console her in any way he could. "It's okay, shh. You're safe, I promise."

Eventually, she could feel herself regaining control. She breathed in and out slowly a few times, still shaky, but able to process her thoughts. She sat there in his arms, eyes closed, until he spoke again.

"What happened?" He noticed the bandage wrapped around her entire forearm. He had no knowledge of what could have happened to her.

Kate sat straight again, her back against the wall. "Nothing." She averted her eyes from his.

"Kate, what happened to your arm?" He looked her dead in the eye, not taking nothing for an answer.

She was so embarrassed that she couldn't even look at him. She picked a spot on the floor, focused on her breathing, and talked slowly. "Last night, I was drinking, a lot." She chewed the inside of her cheek before continuing. "And I was drunk, like really drunk." She could feel the heat in her cheeks as she spoke. "And I heard a car horn or something. I don't know what it was now that I think about it. But I freaked. I flipped my coffee table and it shattered all over the place." She rubbed her forehead trying not to get emotional again. "And I must have closed the blinds because it got dark, and I couldn't help but think that the sniper was coming for me. So I saw my gun on the ground and I dove for it and cut my arm on the glass from the coffee table. God, I'm so stupid."

Absentmindedly, his hand found her knee. "Kate, it's not stupid."

"Yes it is, Castle. I'm pathetic! Look at me right now!" She raised her voice slightly before it returned to normal. "I can't even do my job properly anymore. It's embarrassing."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You have no control over this, and it's not your fault." He shook his head, signifying what he was saying. He couldn't help but push a stray lock of hair behind her ear that had fallen out of place. "It's okay to not be strong all the time. You're human."

She felt the tears coming again. "I just want this to go away."

"I can't promise you that this is going to be easy or that it's going to be okay right away. But I promise you that no matter what, I'm going to be here. As long as you need me, I'll be here." He never broke his gaze from hers as he spoke, his words truer than she realized. He wanted to be there for her and he wanted to be the one that she went to when need be.

She nodded just a little, "Thank you."

"Always." He gave her a half smile, rubbing his hand up and down her upper leg where he had let it lay before. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "Let's get you out of here, okay? I'll tell the boys that you needed the rest of the day, and we can go back to my place and just relax."

She took another deep breath. "Okay, that sounds," She paused for a moment, "nice." And she meant it. She wanted to feel safe, and she felt that way with him.

"Okay." He stood, extending his hand to her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet quickly, reaching down to get her things. They made their way back to the door, Castle's hand on the small of her back. He couldn't help but think that maybe they were finally getting somewhere; just maybe.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi there!**

**First, Happy Easter! I hope everyone has an awesome holiday!**

**Second, here's another one shot; prompt by lyndzwaterfall: Kate is Alexis' mom, and the boys don't know she has a daughter until the first episode when Alexis is at the precinct after Castle is questioned. This is extremely AU, but definitely a fun one. I tried staying as close to their season one characters as possible, so I hope you get a kick out of it!**

**Please send in your prompts! All prompts I already have will get done as I have time. Also, thank you for all your amazing reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Hello, father." Alexis crossed her arms as he approached from holding. She raised an eyebrow, the parental roles reversed.<p>

Rick strode up to Alexis and slung his arm around her shoulder, his smile smug. "Hello, daughter." Alexis hugged him, not being able to hold in a smile.

"I thought mom told you to stay out of trouble. You know how she likes to keep her work and her private life separate." Alexis couldn't help but scold him.

"When have I ever listened to your mother?" He pursed his lips at her.

She ignored him, going on to her next question. "I thought you said you were out of your cop phase, considering." Alexis rolled her eyes and returned her gaze to her father who still had his arm around her.

"Well sometimes I can't leave well enough alone. Besides, it's fun playing cop." _And being with a cop. _He didn't voice that last phrase, but thought it just the same.

"You know this isn't helping with the whole 'discrete' thing, remember?" Alexis glanced at Kate who was standing across the bullpen from them, and then back at her dad.

"No one knows, Alexis. Besides, she had to. Your mother or not, I got carried away. But what's the fun in behaving?"

"You wouldn't know." Alexis shrugged out of his hold when she saw Beckett approaching.

"What are you still doing here?" Beckett rounded the corner, her eyes wide at the sight of Castle, and her eyes growing bigger still when she noticed Alexis standing in the middle of the precinct. She could see Espo and Ryan coming from the other direction.

"Hello, mother." Alexis raised an eyebrow at Kate.

"Hi, hun." Kate smiled at her daughter, still keeping an eye on the boys.

"I can't believe you actually cuffed him! Did he cry?"

Before she could answer, the boys approached and were standing next to them. Espo had heard their exchange, and his curiosity got the best of him. "Hun? Didn't you just meet her?"

"No." Beckett cleared her throat. She hadn't planned on telling them about her daughter in this way. Frankly, she hadn't planned on telling them any time soon. It wasn't that she didn't love Alexis, because she did, so much. And it wasn't that she regretted it, you could never regret your child. And it wasn't even that she didn't love him, because she did. They were just too different for each other. But it _was_ hard enough making it in this line of work as a female, and being a single mother with joint custody and only seeing your daughter on the weekends opened up a whole new can of worms. A can that she just didn't want to open right now. But, it was now or never. She took a deep breath before revealing her secret. "Espo, Ryan, Alexis is my daughter."

There was silence for a moment before the two looked at each other. Ryan snorted sending them both into hysterics. "Very funny, Beckett!"

"Yeah, come on Beckett. You've never been any good at practical jokes, and this isn't even a good one!" Espo was bent over his desk clutching his side from laughter.

"I'm not kidding guys." She looked at the ground before pulling Alexis to her side. Alexis simultaneously put her arms around Kate.

Both men stopped laughing when she did this. They looked at Beckett and then to Alexis, over to Castle and back to Beckett, straightening up immediately. "Oh shit."

"Ever notice how I don't work weekends?"

Espo and Ryan stood stiff as boards, their jaws on the floor. They nodded in unison.

"And how I have most holidays off?"

Again, they nodded.

"And those phone calls I take privately?"

"Yup."

"And personal days and vacations in the summer."

"Mhmm."

"I didn't tell you guys because I didn't know how you would react."

"You mean to tell me that you two. And now you have. And you didn't. And now they're. But."

"Espo! Yes, Alexis is our daughter." She gestured to herself and Castle, trying to get it through their heads that she, in fact, had a daughter with Richard Castle the novelist.

"But I thought you were just a fan?" Ryan wrinkled his brow trying to put the pieces together.

"Who do you think got him to start writing?" She smirked and glanced at Castle who was standing against the wall behind them, watching the show unfold.

"So you were like an item?" Espo pointed at the two of them.

She nodded. "Yeah, sixteen years ago. And then we had Alexis, and we fell apart after that. But we maintain a relationship for her." She held Alexis closer.

"You're a mom?" Ryan raised his voice, still not convinced.

"Shh! Keep your voice down!" Beckett pointed a finger over her mouth to shush him. They were taking this weirdly.

"You're not a redhead though."

"Have you seen his mother?" Her brow arched involuntarily.

"No."

"That explains it."

"So you two _didn't_ just meet?" Ryan again had his eyebrows and forehead scrunched together, trying to piece it all together.

"Nope."

"Then why did you cuff him? Why didn't you just talk to him or bring him in without the cuffs?"

"I can answer that one." Alexis stepped up, looking at her dad, who had yet to comment, and back to her mom. She raised an eyebrow, something both of her parents did. "What's the fun in that?"

Espo and Ryan exchanged a look again. "Yup, she's your daughter."

"Wow, I had no idea!" Beckett rolled her eyes, throwing her hands in the air; the sarcasm was practically shooting off of her. She changed the subject quickly. "Enough about my personal life, don't you two have paperwork to do?"

"Yeah." Both men said together, sensing story time was just about over. They turned to give the three some privacy.

"I should get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow at my place, okay?" She said facing the redhead.

"I'll be there at four like always." Alexis smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Okay, make sure you study tonight so we can chat tomorrow night."

"I will." Alexis smiled at her mom.

"Love you."

"Love you more." She hugged her mom before wondering down the hall to wait for her dad who was still standing against the wall quietly. Kate turned around to look at him once Alexis was out of sight. "What?"

"You didn't have to tell them, you know." He had his arms folded over his chest.

"I know, I wanted to." She crossed her arms as well, mirroring him.

He stepped close to her, his voice a whisper. "Maybe you'd _want _to come over later?"

"Get the hell out." Beckett rolled her eyes and pointed to where Alexis had wandered off to. She couldn't help but smile, though as he threw his arms up in protest.

"Kidding. Kinda." He backed up and waved over his shoulder. "Bye, Kate."

She turned, biting her lip. He really was a jackass.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi there!**

**PLEASE READ: I know I have prompts I owe people, but with finals I'm not going to have a chance to write for another two weeks. But, I was going through my drafts and found this from when I was writing Gone (if you haven't read it, go check it out on my profile!) so I decided to post it to tide you guys over! I promise you all who I owe prompts, they are coming! Thank you for being so patient and understanding! **

**Prompt: Reverse Gone scenario**

**Thank you for all of your kind reviews and for favoriting and following. Please send in prompts, I'll be getting to them soon! **

**Enjoy! **

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><p>He's never felt more alone. He was alone before her, in a sense. Although he was surrounded by his loving family, eager women, and adorning fans, he would return to the silence of the loft, and realization hit him. He didn't have anything solid, just drifters. He had pieces of realness to latch on to, keep him afloat, but the ocean is a rough place, and you're bound to drown at some point.<p>

But then she came along, and there was a period of complete wholeness, his time with her. Looking back now, it was too short. No matter how he looked at it, from every angle, point of view, and lens, she was taken from him far too soon. All the time in the world wouldn't have been enough.

He can't step foot in the precinct, not without being reminded of how she was ripped so viciously from his grasp. If only he would have gone into work with her that day, if only he hadn't have had a chapter due, if only. They said she had lead as point, the position she always preferred. She entered the building, and her internal clock started ticking down to zero as soon as the shot was fired. It was only a matter of time.

He had answered his phone that day, he had been happy, delighted even, having finished his chapter and went as far as to start the next one. He thought it would have been her, telling him how her day was going, when she was going to be home, when he was going to see her again. He beat himself up for answering so happily, it made him feel like a complete jackass. He had not expected his friend on the other end telling him to come to the hospital immediately. Something was wrong, but no one would give him any answers. He was forced to wait a long while, too long. A doctor eventually emerged from the double doors, his head down, not facing the poor man. They had tried everything they could, but unlike last time, she hadn't been so lucky.

It had been a complete blur, the weeks after. He never really knew what was going on. One day, he was in his office, and turned on his laptop for the first time since the attack. His background was a picture of her. It sent him into a fit of untamed rage. He had thrown his laptop across the room and knocked over an entire row of books on the shelves. He had screamed so insanely at Alexis, something he had never done before. It had rattled them both to their core. He knew, then, that he was a changed man. His old self, his being, his personality, was gone when that bullet pierced her heart. Any bit of joy and happiness left in him was gone for good. He hadn't even tried to apologize to his dear daughter. He was embarrassed and ashamed of his actions. But he also felt justified. He had been left alone because of a man with a gun. It wasn't fair.

He shut everyone out, the loft vacant of any other soul, his mother moving out with Alexis after his first episode. Just him, alone, trying to cope with reality; something that he can't change with a piece of paper and a pen. It's not that simple. So he sits and sits and lets the world around him live their happy, stupid lives. It makes him so unbelievably furious that there are people all around him living normally as if he hadn't lost his entire world, his soul, his everything. She may not have been his first, but she was his last, no matter what.

He can't, absolutely won't, take off his wedding band. It seems to him that it's the only real proof that she was here, that she was his and he was hers. It seems to him like his last dedication to her; never again will he look at a women the way he did her. Never again will he feel the joy that her smile brought to him. Never again will he experience a love so passionate. Never again will he hear her call him babe. Never again will he hold her in his arms and whisper in her ear as they fall asleep. Never again.

He drinks now. The whiskey bottle is never far from him. He doesn't even care what kind, just as long as it blurs his vision and thoughts. Just as long as it dulls the pounding in his head. Just as long as it makes the pain go away. It's his drug of choice.

He's long since lost his imagination, his creativity, his passion. His writing comes to a halt. His series of all series is stopped mid production. There's no new chapters, no deadlines, no printing, no tours, or signings. All things that have grown from his paper and pen are gone; just like his muse.

Sleep is a rare occurance at night. He just lays on his back staring at the ceiling, not daring to look right, the empty space too much for him to bear. Instead, he just stares. Stares at nothing, stares at everything, stares at anything besides the right side of the bed. The alcohol makes it impossible for him to think straight. He hates this feeling, knows he needs to cut back, but cutting back means living through the headaches and heartaches with complete understanding and cognitive thinking; he's not ready. It's just too painful.

If he happens to be taken over by exhaustion, he doesn't dream, he won't let himself, in fear that she will appear. He has to use his brain even when he sleeps, continually telling himself to see blackness, because blackness is better than pain. Nothing at all is better than pain.

He sleeps for a very small amount of time. When he wakes, the alcohol has worn off, and his brain is somewhat relaxed. It's the only time he can imagine her without being sent into fits of rage. He tries so remember everything good about her, everything that made him want to change his ways to be a better version of himself. He imagines her soft curls, her big, brown eyes, her incredible smile. He imagines all the time he spent with her. All the time they had. And when he thinks of time running out, the last tick before the screeching of an alarm, he gets a sour taste in his mouth, and goes back to the shell of a man that he has become.

Because she's gone, and she's never coming back.

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><p><strong>Please review! <strong>

**Xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi there!**

**I am finally done with school which means its time to finally start writing again! Thank you all so much for being patient with me, it means so much. **

**Prompt from SOPPNATION: Castle asks Beckett to prom in front of the whole school and enlists the help of his friends. Side note, they aren't dating in this one shot. Also, I realize that he would have been Richard Rogers, but for consistency, I just stick with Castle. Anyway, thanks for sending this in!**

**Any one shot prompts that you guys have sent me will be getting done SOON! Thank you again for being so patient!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"You know the plan, right?" Rick walked up behind Ryan, his eyebrow raised, keeping his voice down. It was early in the morning, the perfect prep time for his proposal of sorts. He had just enough time to get his friends in order before the craziness of the buses pulling up and the drivers making their way onto the lawn began. He had to time it perfectly; he wanted this to be memorable.<p>

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Dude, yes. I've known the plan for two months now. It's gonna work." Ryan slung his arm around Jenny's shoulder as they walked over to Espo and Lanie who were pulling up to help Castle.

"Yeah, Ricky. This is super cute." Jenny looked at him, giving him a smile. She knew the guys were giving him a hard time for being nervous.

"But what if it doesn't?" He heard an early bus pulling up as a strand of cars pulled into the lot.

"Man, you're still on this?" Espo joined them, knowing exactly what Castle was talking about the moment he joined the conversation. "It's too late to be a chicken shit now!"

"Javi, settle." Lanie pointed a finger at him and then turned her attention to Rick. "Where do you want us?"

"Well she usually gets here at nine and parks in the west lot, so she'll be coming from there." He pointed to the other side of the lawn. Since she has to walk all the way to here to meet you two," Then he pointed at Lanie and Jenny, "And since I want everyone to see that I have the best promposal of the year, we should be right over there." He scanned the front of the building a few times before pointing to a spot right in between the front door and the parking lot where Kate always met up with her friends. "She can't miss it."

Lanie popped the trunk to her car and pulled out four poster boards and handed one to each of her friends. Then she grabbed a bouquet of flowers from the passenger seat and shoved them at Castle. "You owe me."

"I'll base a character in my first book on you." He smiled at her waiting for her response.

"I'll hold you to that." She nodded at him and then went back to talking to Jenny.

"You gotta chill. You know she's gonna say yes."

Rick turned to face Ryan, ignoring Espo. "Time?"

Ryan checked his watch. "8:45."

"Perfect." Rick watched as more cars started pulling in and their friends and classmates mingled onto the lawn before classes started. All of a sudden he felt his stomach flip. He had been planning this for months, and now it was finally the day that he was going to ask Kate Beckett, his best friends and the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, to their senior prom.

He knew he had to make it elaborate, original, and unforgettable; if you looked up those three in the dictionary, there would be a picture of him right there on the page. So he started planning in February, trying to think of something that hadn't already been done. Something that would get people's attention and still be romantic. And with the help of Lanie and Jenny, and convincing Javi and Kevin to participate, they planned the whole thing for this very day.

"Dude, there's her car." Espo slapped him on the back, pulling him out of his daydream. Sure enough, her black Honda Civic was pulling into her normal spot in the west lot, the lawn now alive with early morning gossip and last minute study sessions.

"She's here!" Castle faced his friends, waving his arms at them. "Places! Everyone get in your places!" He ran up close to them and then backed up to look at their display. Each held a poster with an individual letter on it. K. A. T. E. As soon as they held them up, everyone on the lawn turned to see what was happening.

"Esposito, yours is upside down."

Javi laughed, "I know." He gave Castle a look before flipping it right side up.

He glanced over his shoulder one last time. She was slinging her bag over her shoulder while sipping her coffee before shutting the door and making her way over to them. Castle looked at Ryan one last time. "How's my hair?" He ran his hand through it as Kevin scrunched his nose and gave him a thumbs up.

Rick turned around completely now, as Kate got closer and closer, recognition slowly registering onto her face. She squinted at first, slight confusion eminent. Slowly but surely, though, a smile made its way onto her face.

"Rick, what is this?" She gave her friends a once over and then set her attention on him.

A crowd started to form around them as he spoke. "Well, Kate, I'm glad you asked. I see you've noticed these large posters that, huh would you look at that," He did a double take and then looked at her again. "Spell out your name."

"Yes I did." Kate giggled and took another sip of her coffee.

"Well, this isn't just an exclamation of your name. No, I have a question for you. As you know, there's a certain dance coming up, and I was thinking and thinking of the person that I wanted to go with. And I realized that I wanted to spend that night with the most beautiful girl I know."

There was a collection of awes from the crowd that had gathered around them.

"So, Kate." He stopped again, and when he did, all four of their friends flipped their signs over, now revealing P. R. O. M. "Will you do me the honor of being my date to our senior prom?" He held out the flowers to her, waiting for her answer.

A smile spread wide across her face, her cheeks warm. "Yes, I would love to." She took the flowers from him, the entire group around them bursting into applause.

Castle reached out and pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head. She leaned back to look at him. "It's going to be great."

This time, she stood on her tippy toes and pecked him on the cheek. She linked arms with him, pulling him in the direction their friends were already headed. "You have no idea."

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><p><strong>Please review and send in prompts or story ideas.<strong>

**xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi there!**

**Where do I even start? That finale... No words. I have to say I'm disappointed. We waited all season for that. So cliche yet so heartbreaking. I wanted a wedding, but now I just want to know how they're going to fix this. Too many tears and shaking last night!**

**This is just a 6x23 based one shot. I know I owe people one shots and beta edits, but I had to write this! Your patience will be rewarded shortly!**

**Please let me know what you think and PM me if you want to talk about the finale!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>This is a dream. It has to be a dream. All Kate kept telling herself was that she needed to wake up from this nightmare. She needed to run away from the ledge and stop staring down at his burning car down below. She needed to get her mind straight and stop thinking the worst. But it was bad; the worst possible scenario.<p>

And as much as she wanted to get the image out of her head, she couldn't look away. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the horrific disaster that was splayed out in front of her. The tragic, Hollywood grade accident that usually ended with a ringing bell and a shout and actors walking off to continue on with their days. But this wasn't Hollywood. This wasn't a set. This was real life. This was her wedding day. That was his car.

The flames licked the edges of the windows, the roof almost completely gone. Burned, everything was burned and destroyed. Castle was supposed to be in that car. He was in that car. He was on his way to their wedding. She should be walking down the aisle right now.

She took a shaky breath, the tears streaming down her face. She felt her heart pound in her ears and her fingertips tingling. This just couldn't be real. But it was. This was real. Her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. So she stood staring into the hole, watching her groom's car burn to nothing.

This was bad. So, so bad. Worse than any feeling of despair or hurt or angst she had ever felt. This was the love of her life, her groom, her everything. It felt like all the blood in her was being drained through her feet. She felt empty. She felt lost. She felt numb.

She was a realist. She thought logically. She wished she wasn't a realist. She wished she didn't always think so logically. Just this once she wished she could think like him. Make up a story and laugh and then go home and drink a glass of wine. But she wasn't. That was his job; that's what he did. He wasn't here.

"Kate! Oh my God." Lanie ran up to where she was standing, the shock of the site registering in her voice. Kate didn't look at her though. But she knew. She knew what Lanie was seeing because now that's all she was able to see. Even if she closed her eyes that's all she could see. That's all she would see for a long time; forever.

"Come on, sweetie. We need to go." Lanie gripped her shoulders and started to pull her backwards.

But then she started to panic. She couldn't leave. She just couldn't. "No, Lanie, no. I can't leave him, no. He needs me." The tears came harder now as she struggled against her friend's grip. "No, please."

Lanie called over her shoulder, "Javi, I need some help." She continued to try to rip Kate away from the ledge, but no matter how hard she tried, Kate fought back. There was no reasoning in such a situation. Anyone would understand that. "Kate, please, we need to go." The tears started running down Lanie's cheeks as she watched her friend in such anguish. A child's innocence and the rawness of losing it all. It was nothing short of heartbreaking.

Esposito was at her side a second later, wounding a hand around her waist. "Kate, we have to go." He lifted her and turned her around. Kate turned and wiggled her body in his grip, trying to see the car before she was whisked away. She needed to stay, needed to be there for him. But she knew; they all did. She also knew there was no use fighting against Espo's guidance. He wasn't going to let her stand there forever. So he led her past a second car and to a third car, opening the back door and ushering her inside. Lanie sat beside her, gripping her hands on her lap.

Kate sat there, expressionless. What else did she really have to live for? Rick was the man that changed everything for her. He picked up the pieces of her broken life and put her back together. He waited so patiently and stood by her and helped her with everything and anything that Kate needed. And she stood by his side in any way she could. They were partners and lovers and best friends. He knew her and she knew him. And they were supposed to be husband and wife.

It wasn't a long drive back to the house; the house that was supposed to become theirs. She didn't bother looking for any guest or taking in the view like she always did. She walked straight through the front door and up the stairs to her bridal suite; one of the guest bedrooms. When she opened the door, Alexis was curled up on the ottoman.

When she saw Kate, she jumped up and latched onto Kate, her head in her neck. "This can't be happening."

Fresh tears sprang to Kate's eyes as she clutched Alexis around the waist, suddenly feeling so tired, the dress becoming heavier than rocks and constricting her breathing. She slid to the floor, Alexis still right by her side.

"This can't be real. There's no way. Kate, please tell me this isn't happening!" Alexis sobbed into the wedding dress, still holding onto her.

She couldn't answer, the sobs making it hard to even breathe. So she just held her tighter and prayed harder that this would just all go away. That he would walk through the door and they would get married; vows and kisses and I do's. They would dance and cut the cake and talk to their guests. People would make speeches and drink and eat. They were supposed to be together forever. Happy ever after. That's what was supposed to happen. That's what he had promised her.

But nothing, not even imagining this pain away and hoping for a brighter future, made what she was feeling any better. All she could do at this point was help Alexis and let Alexis help her. Because they had no clue of knowing what to do. What do you do when your groom is lost in a fiery crash on your wedding day? That just didn't happen. It wasn't real.

But it was. They had beat so many odds just to be taken down on their day. A day they both waiting so long for. A day that she now wished would have never happened.

Alexis looked at her then. "What do we do?" She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

Kate looked towards the window, the vast ocean in her view. What do you do when your whole world has been turned upside down? How do you pick up and go on? How do you ever make something like this be okay? More tears flowed down her cheeks, streaking her makeup. "I don't know."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi there!**

**I have another one shot for you all! This prompt is from PenguinsPenguinsPenguins: Based on the song I Get Off. I used the song as guidance, but changed it up just a bit. Definitely different from what I normally write, but I like a challenge. I hope you like it!**

****This is an M rated one shot.****

**Thank you all for your reviews, favorites, and follows. It truly means so much to me! Feel free to send in any ideas you have and to continue reviewing.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>He was watching. She knew he was standing there; still, quiet, and ever so hungry for her. But he was in the shadows, just like he always was when it had been too long since seeing each other. They had been apart for seventeen days. Seventeen days of tours and work and little communication. And now, after a long day of work, just waiting for the moment when she would be reunited with him, she knew that her seventeen day hiatus would finally be rewarded. But not without a little fun first.<p>

When she walked into the loft, it was quiet. She knew he was home, but there was no use calling out for him or searching. Instead of kicking her heels off and hanging her coat in the closet, she strutted straight through the loft and into their bedroom, sighing when she reached the door frame. "Oh Rick." She called out in a sing song voice, her eyebrow raised and lips pouty.

She stopped and listened for a moment, only hearing the faint sound of a floorboard creak from behind her. Kate ever so slowly untied the belt holding her coat so closely to her body, and let it fall from her shoulders and drop silently to the floor. She had a few tricks up her sleeve for tonight. Because when the coat dropped, all she had on was matching black lace and her four inch stilettos. Oh what she could pull off in the front seat of her cruiser. "Ahh, much better." She stepped fully into the bedroom, continuing on with her performance.

Ever so seductively, she positioned herself in front of the mirror. Hands pressed into the wood, she leaned forward, letting her perfectly toned and shaped body do all the talking. She reached up to her hair and removed the pins, her curls cascading around her face. Kate ran her hands through her hair, still facing the mirror. Her lips perfectly pursed, she listened again for where her could be, hiding in the shadows, like an animal stalking its prey. Oh how she loved being the prey.

From what she heard, Castle moved closer. The door leading to their room from the study creaked and then went silent. Perfect. She didn't dare look, though. That would ruin the fun. A smirk spread across her face as she stood completely up and turned towards the bed.

Swaying her hips, she made her way over to it and sat on the edge. Kate bent over and took off both shoes, running her hands up her legs, stopping right between her thighs, hovering over the hem of her underwear, then over her hips, and up to her chest. She reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, but stopped. She smirked again and shook her head, standing back up and making her way to the window. Kate pushed back the curtains and watched the city below, counting backwards from twenty in her head.

Twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen.

She heard the door open slowly from across the room.

Sixteen, fifteen, fourteen, thirteen.

She couldn't help but stick her ass out ever so slightly as she heard footsteps behind her and then stop. She saw his reflection in the window standing behind her. Whether there was a bulge in his pants or a ripple in the glass of the window, she would soon find out.

Twelve, eleven, ten, nine.

She felt a pair of arms snake around her waist. He was eager tonight. He pulled her close, his fingertips grazing her skin lightly. His lips met her neck, peppering her skin with kisses. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes and letting out a shaky breath. Seventeen days was a long time.

But she wasn't done just yet. She moved her hand to his upper thigh, slowly tracing it. She felt him tense up and hold her tighter. She just loved driving him wild. She reached behind her, turning her head so their lips almost touched. She ran her hand down his cheek and over his lips, hovering in place.

In one swift motion, he turned her around, pressing her up against the window. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands danced around her waist. She let out a moan when his hand traveled down to pleasure her. He growled at her smiling as her nails dug into his back. Now he was in control.

She quickly tore off his shirt, running her hands down his chest to the waist band of his dress pants. She unbuckled his belt and worked at the zipper herself before he became impatient. He finished the job himself, kicking off the rest of his clothes. Then in the next second, reached behind Kate and unhooked her bra, tired of playing games. He pulled her closer still, their faces just inches from each other.

"So, how was your day?"

"Oh cut the crap, Rick." Kate crashed her lips to his, letting her hands get stuck in his hair. She locked her legs around his waist, now completely wrapped in his arms.

Castle carried her to the bed, their lips never parting. He laid her down, hovering over her. A dangerous, hungry smile played on his face as he proceeded to get closer and closer to her.

Fire in her eyes, Kate clutched the sheets, eager for her fiancé's touch and the night that they had been waiting seventeen days for. When he was close enough, Kate reached for him, pulling him the last few inches to her. Their lips collided together once again, teeth crashing into each other.

He lowered himself to her, finally becoming one with the other. She let out a moan, one that sounded much like his name as he breathed out heavily. What started as a slow, playful act turned into quick, passionate action. They were in for a stellar night.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi there!**

**So I've had this saved on my computer for the longest time and thought it was finally time to share. Prompt: Beckett and Castle rebuild after the death of her father. Lighter at the end, I promise.**

**I have one more fan prompt to do before I start on a new story that I think you're really going to love! A clue as to what it will be about can be found in chapter 10 of this story feed! ;) That being said, you can still send in one shot prompts because I can't work on one story without waning to do another lol!**

**Again, thank you for all of your reviews and for being so kind!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>It's so hard for him to watch her like this. It's so hard for him to sit by her and not be able to make the pain and hurt and loss go away. He's tried over and over, but he doesn't have that kind of authority over her emotions. All he can do is be by her side and return to her when her walls finally come back down. He doesn't know how long it will be, how many minutes, hours, days, or months it will take, but he would never in a million years give up on her, no matter what.<p>

He was the one solid proof of family that she had left. That one inexplicable presence that only a father can provide; protection, safety, her first car, a walk down the aisle, love. It wasn't fair that he had been taken so suddenly from her. She deserved to have him around for many more years to come. To see her get married, to see her have children, to see her thrive and be so much more than what her mother's murder had turned her into. She was finally, really, permanently changing and becoming, what he believed, to be Katherine Beckett, for real.

But here he was, lying in bed, stiff as a board. He laid facing her, but every night her back was to him; shutting him out, building up a wall. And every night, as he watched her shoulders shake, silent tears coming from the depths of her being, he knew that he couldn't do anything but wait. That first night, they had returned from the hospital, she had gone straight to the bedroom, closing the door. He had waited just long enough until there was no more sounds of movement coming from beyond the door. When he had finally gone in, she was already tucked away, her back facing him. He had moved in slowly, and when he went to pull her close, she had completely lost it. The pain and heartbreak of losing another parent, the old memories of her mother and the fresh memories of her father had sent her into a fit of rage.

"I'm sorry, Castle. Just please don't right now, please." She begged him through sobs, her hair in her face. She stood beside the bed, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She looked so helpless, so small. All he wanted to do was wrap her up and let her know that he was here for her, but he couldn't. He had to respect her wishes.

"I'm sorry." His words caught in his throat as he settled back into his spot. He tried to close his eyes and count backwards, but his heart hurt so badly for her and his mind raced so rapidly that he couldn't relax. Even when she had finally settled back in bed, he felt so badly for her that he was unable to sleep at all that first night.

And day after day, night after night, since then, they had made somewhat of a routine. She was on leave for the time being, so they would sit in the loft, the silence too great to even think properly. He would try and write, try and do something, to keep himself busy. Besides business meetings twice a week, he was forced to sit and watch the love of his life stare blankly at the wall. He would make them food, put a plate in front of her, and sit next to her where ever she was. Luckily, human instinct cut in and she ate. But then it was back to the stone cold Kate, sitting there as if it would bring him back.

One day last week, he had had a meeting for Nikki Heat. It went long, so he was later than usual. When he opened the front door, she was standing in the kitchen looking at a picture hung on the refrigerator. It was one of her and her dad that she had absentmindedly hung up before any of this had ever happened. They looked so unbelievably happy in it; like they hadn't lost a mother and a wife. Now, she had lost a mother and a father, un-expectantly. He had walked over to her, her back to his like it was normal now.

"They're together now." Was all she said. She wiped at her eyes, and turned the picture over so it was no more a memory, just a square, white card.

It was the first time she let him touch her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and placed his head on her shoulder. She stood there, as stiff as a board, letting him be there for her. But as soon as he thought they were making progress, she shrugged out of his embrace, and went directly for the bedroom.

Later that night, he finally made his way into their room. He had sat at his desk, half listening for sounds and half staring at his computer. It had been dark since she retreated there two hours ago, so he climbed in bed as quietly as he could, hoping she had actually fallen asleep easily. He laid there, flat on his back, hand behind his head, and eyes closed for a long while. This was somewhat of a routine by now; lay in bed and think about it. Think about anything and everything. Think about her. Think about them. Think of some other way to get her out of this. All he wanted was to be able to hold his wife. But he couldn't do that until she let him in.

It came as a shock when he felt her grab his hand. It seemed so foreign, a taboo of sorts, but like nothing had changed. Something new yet something old. Something different, something comfortable, something finally changing. He held his breath and relaxed his muscles. This was her letting him in. This was her healing. This was what he had been waiting for.

The only light in the room was the full moon shining through the windows, creating only silhouettes and black and white. Kate turned towards him, a quiver in her voice. "Thank you." She pulled his hand to her lips and kissed it, letting her lips linger on his skin. "For everything." Her words were choked out, her emotions getting the best of her.

Castle turned his body towards her so they were facing each other. "You don't have to thank me for anything. I'm just doing what I'm supposed to. I would wait for you and stand by you as long as I had to." He tested the water, laying his hand on her hip.

"But I want you to know how much I appreciate you and what you do for me."

"I promised you always and I meant it." He leaned in, peppering her forehead with a kiss.

"It just hurts." Her voice broke again as she wiped at her eyes.

"I know, hun." Castle moved an inch closer, longing to hold his wife in his arms. He craved to feel her heartbeat next to his and have her breath curl around his neck. All he wanted was for this to be the night that she finally let him back in.

Kate exhaled. "I love you."

Castle finally wrapped his arms around her as Kate settled into his side, a natural fluidity to their movements. She laid her head on his chest, one arm by his ear and a leg wrapped around his, finally finding the courage and strength in her to be okay. Castle held her tighter, rubbing her back. He would have waited a million years for her to accept what had happened, but this was okay also. He breathed out, his muscles relaxing as he placed one last kiss on her temple. "Love you too."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi there!**

**I definitely had some fun with this one. Prompt: Beckett gets drunk and Castle takes care of her. Hope you guys like it!**

**I can't wait to start my new story! Once I get most of my beta work done I'll start. Like I said, check out chapter 10 of this story for a clue as to what my new story will be.**

**Thank you for all the amazing feedback I've received from you guys! It means so much.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>In the two and a half years they had been together, Kate and Rick had never actually gone <em>out<em>. Almost every night was spent at the loft, quiet, small, and intimate. It had become a routine even; wine and a movie, or late night coffee and scrabble. Whatever the situation, though, it was always small. Until tonight.

It was Friday night, six o'clock when they finally escaped the hold of the twelfth. The mid-June heat rising from the street, the two found the closest bar and happily accepted the air conditioning.

Beckett walked up to the bar, pulling Castle behind her. "I'll take a rum and coke."

"And you, sir?" The bartender asked as he moved around behind the bar.

"Just a beer, thanks. Put it all on my tab."

"Will do." The man nodded, handing both their drinks and continuing on down the bar.

Beckett and Castle made their way to a booth near the back of the bar, again, their small, intimate ways pulling them to seclusion. The two drank and talked as the little live band played through their set list.

Once Kate had finished her drink, she absentmindedly grabbed the drink menu from the end of the table. "Ohh, they have sangria. Split it?" She looked at Castle who had just finished his beer.

"Sure." He raised a hand, making eye contact with one of the waiters that was walking through the bar, ordered the sangria, and put his attention back on his girl. "I'm glad we're doing this. Nice to get out of the loft for a change."

She smiled, reaching a hand across the table to hold his. "I agree."

"We'll have to do it more often. Maybe invite the boys sometime."

"Sounds good to me." She squeezed his hand, a smile on her face.

The waiter put the glass in front of Kate and she took it willingly. As she took a sip, Castle put his hand up to ask for a drink. Kate pulled it further to herself. "Mmm, no way. I lied, this is too good to share."

He shrugged, again, signaling their waiter to bring him another beer.

Both could hold their alcohol, but out of the two, Castle was better suited. Kate's tiny frame, and lack of anything solid during the day always spelled disaster. So after three more beers, moving to the bar, and two restroom breaks, the night was wearing thin; and that was just Castle. Kate had already had two sangrias, eating all of the fruit from the second, a shot from the owner, and was now working on a beer; one that was supposed to be Castle's that she stole.

"She's drunk." He thinks, and knows even in his slightly buzzed state. But when he notices her posture change and sees the extra effort it takes to stand, he cuts himself off to make sure he can take care of her for the night.

Kate leans heavily into him, breathing onto his neck when she turns to talk to him. "Why aren't you drinking anymore?"

He ignores her question and asks another. "Why don't we head home? Call it a night?"

"No way." She insists on standing on her own then, balancing herself on the lip of the bar, and holding her beer with the other. "This is fun." She's not too gone, but just enough for Castle to know that he's going to have hell trying to get her home. Her strong will and persistence is amped up when she's drunk.

"Kate, we should really go. It's late and you're drunk." He regrets that last part as soon as he says it.

"I'm not drunk." She takes her hand off the bar and opens her eyes wider, swaying slightly. She automatically put her hand back on the bar to steady herself, but looks at Castle confidently. "Hmm, told ya!" She sticks her tongue out at him and laughs at herself.

"Yeah, you sure did." He can't help but laugh at her confidence.

"I'm not even drunk." She states again; a sure sign that, indeed, she is. Kate tips her glass back again and finishes it with one gulp. "See. Good to go, Captain."

"Since when do you call me Captain?" Castle gives her a look, his eyebrow raised, and a hand around her waist.

"Cause you're the captain, duh!" Kate looks up at him, pursing her lips.

He can't help but chuckle again. "Whatever you say." He pulls her closer to him, hoping to convince her it's time to leave. "Come on, babe, let's get out of here." He whispers in her ear, kissing her temple in hopes that it will distract her from getting the bar tender's attention again.

She straightens just a little and looks at him. "Fine." She drags out her words as her eyes start drooping. "But let's dance first!"

"Yep, time to go." Castle throws a couple of bills on the bar and tells the bartender to keep it, before wrapping a sturdy arm around Kate's waist, and leading her out the door.

Lucky enough, there's a cab just down the street to take them back to the loft. He could only imagine having to walk back as Kate leaned even more into his side.

They rode in silence, Kate's head on his shoulder. He would have bet that she was asleep, but as soon as they pulled up in front of the building, her head shot up. "Finally, we're ba-a-a-a-a-ck." She added at least seven a's to the word. She leaned for the door, making it to the sidewalk and to the front door, right as Castle paid the driver and shut his door.

He finally catches up to her at the elevator. "Where do you think you're going?"

She sways slightly, making contact with his chest. "Upstairs, duh!" She pushes the button again, her impatience growing.

"Kate, that's the down button."

She leans in to examine it, then starts laughing uncontrollably. "So silly! I knew that!"

Castle hits the right button and the doors swing open immediately. He leads her inside, making sure he keeps her away from any and all buttons.

"Castle?" She asks dragging out the a's in his name.

"Hmm?" He holds her around the waist.

"When are we gonna have babies?" She scrunches her nose, giving him the most concerned look she ever had; as concerned as she can be with her eyes like slits.

"You're going to bed." The doors open then, and he swings his arm under knees, carrying her out of the elevator.

Kate squeals, "Hey! That was a question! Babies are cool, right? We can have like seven!"

He walks straight through the door and to their room, dropping her on the bed. She's fighting to keep her eyes open now, swaying just a little even as she sits. He takes her shoes off, and then her jeans, replacing them with something more comfortable.

"I hav'ta pee." She's dead weight now that she's sat down, so he carries her to the bathroom and stands on his knees beside her. Her head rests on his chest as he waits for her to be done, and helps her back to bed.

"Castle?"

"Shh, you're okay." He squats down next to her, pushing her hair back.

"Kiss." It's barely audible as she puckers her lips, eyes all the way closed now. He leans in and pecks her on the lips before climbing into bed next to her. He gets close to her, rubbing her back until he himself falls asleep.

Kate laid in bed, her hands over her eyes. Her head was pounding, and quite frankly, she felt as though she'd been hit by a bus.

"Morning."

"I'm never doing that again." She sat with her hands still over her eyes.

"Mhm." Castle set a glass of water and two ibuprofen on the table, kissing the top of her head before sitting beside her in bed. "Need anything?"

She answers by turning into him, laying her head on his chest and breathing out slowly. At least ten minutes go by before she moves again, tilting her head up to look at him.

"What?" He asks her.

"Nothing."

Castle smirks at her. "Just can't keep your eyes off the captain?"

There's a moment of confusion before her eyes widen. She flips herself onto her side, closing her eyes again. "Oh my God."

Castle can't control his laughter as he thinks about it again. He's trying to control himself, but he finds it too funny as he rolls onto his side, giving himself a stitch.

"Go make me a coffee _please_." She groans.

He gets up and makes his way to the door. He knows she's already embarrassed, but he can't help himself. He stands in the doorway, leaning into the frame. "Should I mention all the kids we'll be having?"

"Go." She points in the general direction of the door, still not opening her eyes.

"Love you!" He calls out as he leaves the room to do what he was told.

She finally sits up, downing the pills and drinking half the water. "Love you too."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi there!**

**Well if you've been reading my latest story, you know I'm on vacation and said I wouldn't be updating. But I've had this idea for a couple of weeks now. And what better place to write a beach fic than sitting on your balcony at the beach?!**

**Prompt: Song fic to "I Don't Dance" by Lee Bryce. Listen to it before or while reading. :)**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>She's single handedly the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. There's no other way to describe her other than strikingly and stunningly gorgeous.<p>

There's a confidence that carries her and that she carries. She takes her time, she's aware of everything she's doing. Her movements are fluid, graceful, perfect, and so so effortless.

There's a swagger in her walk, in the way that she knows she's an alpha, that she knows she can handle and over come anything that is handed to her. She turns heads in all the right ways but doesn't give any of her on lookers the satisfaction of knowing she knows they're watching.

There's something about her looks that makes her so uniquely gorgeous. Her eyes are the first thing that he noticed when he met her. The orbs of an angel; nothing less. He loves seeing them sparkle when she's happy, and he likes healing the hurt in them when she's sad. But no matter what, he loves them.

Her cheekbones are nothing short of fascinating, giving way to her amazing lips and smile. He didn't get to see much of it when they first met, so when she did finally loosen up and let him in, that smile meant so much. A dazzling display of pearly white joy that he can see when she's so overtaken with happiness that her mouth opens wide and her eyes shine just a little more. He thinks it makes her ever more beautiful. Especially that smile that she saves just for him when they finally get home from work and they can cuddle up on the couch. It's that smile that keeps him sane sometimes.

And even though all elements of her separately are gorgeous, putting them all together forms a perfect individual. Someone so beyond his wildest dreams that not even his imagination could dream her up and write her on a page. No, she is out of this world. She's breathtaking, really.

He watches her from the back porch of the Hamptons house on the evening of their first day as husband and wife. The waves crash in the dark and the little fire he lit in the pit produces enough light for him to see her. She's standing by the railing, her hips swaying ever so slightly to the sounds of the stereo spilling out from the house after enough wine coolers to make her feel at ease. There's a grin on her face; one so blissful and happy, he senses one gracing his lips as well.

He's content just to watch her stand there until she tiptoes over to him and reaches for his hand. "Come dance with me."

There's a split second where he wants to laugh and ask if she's serious, because Richard Castle does not dance. But before the thought is completely processed, his hand is in hers as he lifts himself out if the chair and pulls her to the middle of the deck. He wraps his arms around her, and hers wound loosely around his neck as they sway in the night to the sounds of country music and the Atlantic Ocean.

He runs his hand up and down her back, her even breath matching the pace of their dance. A dance they have been symbolically doing for six years now. He can feel her content sigh as he spins her once, twice, and then pulls her back to him.

He breathes in the salt air, the smell of her perfume catching at his nose. He closes his eyes and and let's out his own sign of content as he pulls her closer still, kissing the top of her head and letting it linger.

When he opens his eyes, he catches a glimpse of the stars, a rarity for a New Yorker. He remembers all the times before he ever knew her that he would come and stand in this exact spot, alone and sad, and wish to these same stars that he had someone to share his life with that really, truly mattered. God must have been listening.

It's in that moment that he realizes that he is a changed man. A good, whole, right man that he never was before. He is someone willing to look themselves in the mirror and know that they are all they've wanted to be.

Because before he met her, he would have never brought anyone coffee day in and day out just to see a smile on their face. He would have never taken the time to hunt down New York's scum for the hell of it. He would have never stood feet from a bomb, reminiscing on years and years of experiences just to keep someone calm and distracted while his own heart and mind were summersaulting out of control. He would have never raced into a burning building or risk freezing to death, or being turned to tiger kibble because he wanted a rush of excitement for the day. He would have never let anyone see the soft side reserved specifically for his daughter, because that's not Richard Castle. And most importantly, he would have never, ever danced.

He would have sauntered into a nightclub, a babe on each arm, ready to mix and mingle and be oogled over. He would have drank fancy cocktails and gotten special favors because he could. He would have used that magical smirk and turned everyone he crossed paths with to a puddle of mush and been so exceptionally pleased with himself. He would have been with countless women, and still feel like there was something missing; because there was.

Everyone likes to think that he fixed her, and that's what most people would say upon hearing their story. That the writer fixed the cop. That the writer brought the cop back from the deep, dark rabbit hole. That the writer is the reason the cop is the person she is today. But when he thinks back to when they first met, and how much he himself has been changed and molded and shaped by her, he knows that she saved him. The cop fixed the writer. The cop humbled the writer. The cop is the reason the writer is the man he is today. And he could never be more thankful about anything in all of his life.

Because Richard Castle doesn't dance, but now he does.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi there!**

**So here I am again writing on my vacation. I decided to instead of writing one long 4th of July one shot, write two short ones. This one is angst, and the next one is fluff. I'll post the fluff later.**

**Have a great 4th of July!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Kate sat on the deck of the Hamptons house, her little girl wrapped snuggly in her arms. She watched as the first of many fireworks began lighting up the night to celebrate another year of independence.<p>

She had an odd feeling deep in her heart that made itself known during every holiday, birthday, and special occasion. A hollowness of sorts. It made everything so bittersweet; happy occasions turned sour. With Maddie now in her life, there was a reason to be joyous and have fun; her purpose to keep on going. But a huge part of her life was gone; and it stung.

During a break in the action when the surroundings grew silent and the sky was clear, Maddie turned to look at Kate. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, sweetie?" Kate gave her her full attention, brushing her bangs away from her face.

Her angelic face, so little and innocence, displayed her emotions so plainly. "Is Daddy watching?"

"Of course." A single tear fell down her cheek, falling silently to her lap. She kissed the little girl's temple as the fireworks started up again. She looked past the display to the stars. "He always is."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hi there!**

**Here's a second 4th of July prompt! This one is fluff, yay! Hope everyone has been having a good day.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Work and writing had hindered their plans to stay in the Hamptons that weekend, so Rick and Kate found themselves sitting on the fire escape in hopes that they could catch a glimpse of the fireworks.<p>

He stepped through the window, a glass of white wine in each hand. "For you."

"Why thank you." She smiled and took the glass from him.

"So how was work?" He sat down next to her and she leaned in to his side.

Kate shrugged. "It was okay. We wrapped up that case we were working on earlier this week."

"You did?" Castle sounded genuinely disappointed. "I didn't want to miss that!"

Kate laughed at him. "Sorry, babe. How did writing that chapter go?"

He pursed his lips, thinking of what to say. "Let's just say I'll be writing a lot tonight."

Kate rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her wine.

He mimicked her. "Sorry we couldn't go to the house this weekend."

"It's alright. Who doesn't like a nice lounge on the fire escape?"

Rick stuck his tongue into his cheek. "Easy sarcastic."

Kate giggled, stuck her tongue out, and grabbed his hand, running her thumb in small circles. "I'm kidding. As long as I'm with you, I don't mind."

"That's better." He smirked and then kissed her temple.

Just then, the sky lit up, and fireworks shot up past the buildings in the distance.

"Cheers." He held up his glass, and hers clinked against it. They both took another sip and settled into each other.

"You know," Kate whispered into his ear. "This is our first Independence Day as husband and wife."

"Hmm. That sounds like a reason to celebrate." He raised an eyebrow at her, a suggestive look on his face.

Kate stood, kissing his hand, then his neck, and then his lips. "I don't think you're going to get much writing done tonight." She tugged on his hand, stepped through the open window, and dragged him to the bedroom, the fireworks still lighting up the night.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hi there!**

**Super short. An idea that I saw on this site before.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Rick sat at his desk, the first copy of the very last Nikki Heat sitting in front of him.<p>

The book was new, but the story was old, worn, and told the beautiful story of a long, meaningful partnership, torn at the seams far too soon.

He took a deep breath, blinking once, and opened the cover.

_To my wife. God only takes the best. Until we meet again._

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi there!**

**Prompt: Meredith hears Alexis call Kate mom.**

**I wrote this as if Alexis were somewhat younger, probably still in high school, but after the kidnapping. It's basically a big jumble of Alexis haha. I really like how this turned out. Kate wasn't originally supposed to be so sassy, but I love it!**

**Now that "Rewriting the Past" is finished, I'll be doing just one shots while I'm at school. So feel free to send in prompts.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Meredith strutted out of the elevator, toting her Louis bag on her forearm. She held her nose high in the air as her heels clicked with each step. When she reached Rick's front door, she stopped to retrieve her key. Yes, he told her not to stop unannounced, but no, he never took her key back so he obviously wasn't <em>too<em> serious. She did what she wanted anyway.

She materialized in the doorway, stripping her coat and folding it over her arm. She was about to shout, but heard two people, females, talking in the kitchen.

"Hey mom?"

Mom? That was Alexis speaking, but who was she calling mom? Meredith took a small step into the loft, careful not to make too much noise.

"Yeah, Lex?"

Kate Beckett. That bitch was parading around this place acting like she ruled the world. News flash, Meredith was the queen. She stood silent a moment longer, listening to what would be said next.

"Would you want to run to the store with me in a little bit? I wanted to surprise dad and make dinner."

"Yeah, sure. I need to finish looking at these case files and then we can go."

"Sounds good."

Meredith nearly gagged. This was like a bad episode of Full House. Well, they were all bad, but still. She had heard enough. Instead of hiding in the shadows any longer, Meredith strode into the loft, her head held unbelievably high. "Hello? Alexis?" She stopped when she saw both women give themselves whiplash as they turned to gawk at her.

There she stood, the deep fried Twinkie, in all her glory.

"Meredith?" Kate immediately turned her head to look at Alexis before standing, her spine stiff as a board as if she were a child about to be scolded by a parent.

"Mom?" Alexis stood at the fridge, the door half open in her attempt to grab a soda, her eyes bugging from her skull. "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood, just passing by. I thought I'd stop and say hi."

"Uhh, hi. I didn't hear you come in." Alexis moved from her spot, set the can on the counter and moved around the island to be swallowed in Meredith's overwhelming embrace.

"Well it's good to see you."

"How's school?" She jumped right into her usual questions as if it was a routine.

"Good." Alexis felt awkward. She hadn't seen her mom for six months.

Meredith finally released Alexis and turned to address Kate as well. "That's good. What are you two doing?"

Kate was stuck in her own form of shock and spit out her answer hurriedly. "Work."

"Just got done with my homework." Alexis offered.

"I see." Meredith nodded then let her presence in the room simmer. Then, Meredith flashed a huge, toothy smile at Kate, trying to mask her annoyance. "Kate, a word?"

Kate nodded. "Of course." She stood and, without Meredith seeing, turned to Alexis, a panicked look on her face. Alexis held her arms and palms out as if saying 'I don't know!', and watched as the two disappeared.

Meredith led her to a more private location where Alexis couldn't hear them. She stopped suddenly, threw her coat over the couch, and spun around, nearly running into Beckett. She pointed a finger at the detective, coming dangerously close to poking her sternum. "What the hell is my daughter doing calling you mom?"

Kate stood firm, answering honestly. "She asked me about two month ago if it would be alright if she called me that. I told her absolutely. If she felt that way, then I was fine with it. The feeling is mutual."

"Well make her stop." Meredith crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at Kate.

Beckett mimicked her, popping a hip and folding her arms. "I'm not going to do that."

Meredith traced her tongue along the inside of her bottom lip and blinked furiously. "And why not?"

"Because I am more a mother to that girl than you have ever been." Kate wasn't backing down, not on this one. Meredith gasped and swung her hand at Kate's cheek, but Kate had been anticipating it and grabbed her wrist, holding it tightly. "I don't think so."

"You have no right to hold that title." Meredith leaned dangerously close to Kate, narrowing her eyes and spitting venom with her words.

"Oh I think I do. I know more about Alexis than you ever will. I spend time with her. I talk to her. We go to lunch. Hell, we live in the same house! She only sees you three times a year, _maybe_!"

Meredith opened her mouth to speak, but Kate continued.

"You didn't even bother to show up when she was kidnapped and being held hostage in Paris. You know who _was_ here, though? Me. The whole time. I'm a homicide detective, I work murder cases, but I worked that entire kidnapping case. I was there on scene, holding Rick's hand, making calls, and trying to get _your_ daughter home. I was here, in this loft, when Alexis got back. I was there when Martha and Rick were being held hostage in a bank and Alexis was standing out front, scared out of her mind. I'm here because I love Rick _and_ Alexis." Kate threw her arms in the air, realizing that her justification on the matter was in one ear and out the other with Meredith.

"That doesn't mean you know her." She shook her head.

Kate leaned in ever so slightly, whispering the simplest question. "What's her favorite color?"

Meredith answered quickly and confidently. "Pink."

But Kate shot back even faster. "Wrong, it's green. She told me she changed it when she was ten and she visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art. She saw The Water Lilly Pond painting and said she'd like to visit a place like that because it looked more peaceful than the city."

Meredith was truly taken aback. "How did you?"

Kate cut her off. "I told you, we're close. She needed a mother figure in her life, and I'm here for her."

Meredith gasped again, picking her coat up and draping it over her arm. "I'm going to talk to Richard about this." She started for the door, her heels now daggers as she stormed out.

"Be my guest." Kate called after her, slamming the door as she went.

She made her way back into the kitchen where Alexis was sitting at the bar, waiting for Kate. "It's not that I don't love her, I just never see her. It's weird when she's here, ya know?"

"Alexis, you don't have to justify anything to me. I understand."

"Okay." She nodded and breathed out. "Ready to go to the store, _mom_?"

Kate laughed and extended her arm to Alexis. "Let's go."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hi there!**

**Prompt from Alieh: Kate has to explain her scars to her curious kids.**

**I have prompts before this that I still have to do, but I had to get this idea out of my head nad onto the screen before it left my brain. I promise, if you request a prompt, I will get to it ASAP.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Kate rarely ever gave a second thought about her scars. She had accepted the pain and torment that had accompanied them, but now, she had a life and a family that meant more to her than a couple of patches of wrinkled skin.<p>

But every once in a while, while she was changing and they were exposed, she couldn't help but examine them, touch them, remember what she had gone through to carry these with her.

It was on this day in particular that she found herself standing in front of the full length mirror, fascinated over the way they felt under a tender touch. They were older now, nearly eleven years had passed since that fateful day in the cemetery. The day that, in her opinion, changed her life for the better.

She had gotten as far as stripping from her t-shirt she had worn the night before, sporting a bra and her little, cotton briefs, when she stopped and stared at the long line down her side. She twisted her body to expose it to the light.

It hadn't aged, really, was as straight and tight as it had been all these years. Really, the doctors had done a phenomenal job stitching her up and making her whole.

Without thinking about it. She turned to stand parallel to the mirror, leaning in to give a careful look to her chest. The x marks the spot directly in the middle of her chest executed perfectly in an attempt to end her. She touched it delicately, breathing out as she did. This scar was deeper; she was able to feel the grooves of her sternum much more easily now.

"Mommy what is that?"

Kate turned her attention behind her, seeing the reflection of her two, young children standing in the doorway, watching Kate touch parts of her body that didn't make sense.

"It's nothing, honey." Kate grabbed her t-shirt up off the bed and threw it over her shoulders. She pulled at it quickly, trying to hide her imperfections from her kids.

Taylor, her spectacularly brilliant six year old tiptoed into the room, stepping right up to Kate's side and pointing at the spots she had just covered up. "But it looks different than the rest of you. Why is it so wrinkly?"

Kate blushed. As far as her children knew, she was perfect. She had to be perfect for them. And letting them know that their mom, the most important woman in their lives wasn't perfect, was harder for her to do than she ever imagined. "Mommy got an owie a long time ago."

"Why did it never get better? My owies always get better. Especially when you or daddy puts the medicine stuff on it and a bandaid. And eating Popsicles! Do you need a Popsicle?"

"Mommy have owie?" Rick and Kate's perfectly, curious and adorable three year old son mimicked his sister, trying to join in.

"Yes, Trevor, I got an owie a long time ago." Kate palmed the back of his head, offering him a smile.

"I kiss and it get better?" Trevor asked, a hopefully look on his chubby, little cheeks.

"No, I'm afraid it won't help." Kate shook her head. "Here, I'll try and help you two understand." She picked each of her children up, placing them neatly on the bed. She climbed in with them, sitting criss-cross. "You both know that mommy is a cop, right?"

"Mommy hunts bad guys." Trevor announced, puffing out his cheeks with pride.

"That's right, I get the bad guys and I lock them all up. And you both know that I have a gun that I use only if I'm in trouble with a bad guy."

Taylor threw her palms out into the air, her eyes big and wide. "Yeah, we aren't allowed to ever touch a gun. Those are only for police like you and for daddy."

"Yes, for police like me and for daddy." Kate chuckled at that. Ever since Castle had gotten his concealed carry permit, he made sure his kids, the real ones and Ryan and Esposito, knew that he was just like mommy. "Well one day mommy missed one of the bad guys and wasn't ready with her gun." She lifted her shirt to expose the scar on her chest. "Do you see this circle?" Both nodded, oogling over it. "A very bad guy shot me right there."

Taylor covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my goodness."

Kate took each of their little hands and placed them over the scar, and then moved them down to her side. "And this one, the one that you saw, happened later." She twisted some, to let them see the length of it. "After the bad guy shot me, the doctors at the hospital had to help me. So they did surgery and saved my life by cutting me open right here."

Taylor touched Kate's side lightly and carefully. "I'm all better, but my skin is just a little bit different now."

"It's okay, mommy, you are still so so pretty." Taylor stood on the bed and wrapped her arms around Kate's neck.

"Thank you, sweet girl." Kate held her tight, tears coming to her eyes. They didn't care that she wasn't perfect. A couple of wrinkly patches meant nothing to them. Because in their eyes, she and Castle were the most perfect people to them right now. They were happy; scars or no scars.

"Mommy, all better?" Trevor came up and threw his arms around Kate and Taylor.

She kissed them both. "I'm all better."

"Good!" Taylor squealed.

"Mommy catch all the bad guys!"

"I'm gonna catch them all, little man!" Kate laughed, pulling them back into her. She glanced past their little, tousled heads to see Castle standing in the doorway, a huge smile on his face. She turned them around to face the door. "Look who's back from his book tour."

The two jumped off the bed and ran towards him. "Daddy!"

Castle scooped one up in each arm, basking in the hugs and kissing each of them. "Hey you two! How are you?"

"Mommy told us about her owies!" Taylor pointed towards were Kate was sitting.

Trevor opened up his hands to reassure his dad. "Mommy all better though."

"Yeah? Mommy is pretty great, huh? I think so too." Both of his children nodded and snuggled into him. "Go sit in your seats and we'll get breakfast ready, okay?" He lowered them to the ground and waited until he heard them pitter-patter on the hardwood before he moved to greet his wife.

"Hey." He smirked, gathering her in his arms.

She breathed in his scent, closing her eyes. "Hi."

"Ready to go catch more bad guys?" He leaned back to kiss her forehead, and then her lips. He lowered his hand to her side, tracing her scar.

She smiled and kissed him once more. "Absolutely."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	23. Chapter 23

Hi there!

Prompt: Kate and Rick get nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge.

-PLEASE READ-

I debated on whether or not I wanted to post this as a separate story because the meaning behind it is very important. But I decided to put it in the one shot feed in hopes that more people will see it.

This isn't so much about the story as it's about the story behind the story. For those of you who don't know, ALS is a disease that attacks the nerves in your body until you lose all function. Currently, there is no cure.

So the ALS community created a challenge to raise awareness and funds to help these people. The challenge is to dump a bucket of ice water over your head which simulates what it's like to lose function of your nerves. The person then nominates three more people to complete the challenge in 24 hours and all parties donate to the ALS foundation.

I was nominated last night and plan on doing the challenge today and donating to this amazing cause.

Note: I'm not doing the one shots in order of request. This prompt seemed the most relevant as of now. But I promise if you sent a request I'll get to it.

Someone sent links with their request but the links didn't lead anywhere. If you still wanted me to write your prompt, please try and sent the links again!

Enjoy!

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><p>"No."<p>

Castle looked up from his morning coffee, hearing Beckett in the bedroom.

"No no no no no no no."

"Kate? Everything okay?" He straightened, straining to see what was going on.

Kate raced out of the bedroom, cradling her phone in both hands. She looked up and met Castle's worried eyes. "Oh no."

He dropped his paper, the suspense killing him. "What?"

Kate drug her hand through her hair and huffed out. "Esposito just sent me this. He nominated me for the ALS ice bucket challenge last night."

Castle chuckled, standing up and putting an arm around her waist. "Come on, hun, it can't be that bad."

"Oh really?" She raised her eyebrow and put a hand on her hip.

"Yeah?" He held himself taller, smiling down at her.

She straightened as well, pointing at him three times. "So you would dump ice water on your head, record it, and put it on the internet?"

"If I was nominated, sure." He stuck his nose in the air.

Kate smirked. "Good, because Ryan just nominated you, too."

Castle's eyes popped open. "Oh no."

"Oh yes, writer boy." She tapped on her phone and showed him the video of Ryan nominating him and then dumped a whole bucket of water on his head.

"No." Castle pouted.

Kate popped a hip. "What's the matter, Castle, afraid of a little cold water?"

"No, I'm not afraid." He looked past her into the entryway.

"Good, then we'll do it together after work." She stood on her tiptoes, pecked him on the cheek, and proceeded to the kitchen to start her day.

"Ugh, fine." He finally said, before falling back into the couch to finish reading the paper.

"I hate you." Kate glared at Esposito.

"Ha, no you don't." Espo smiled as he filled up two buckets he found at Castle's loft. They stood on the outside patio where they could both be drenched easily and without an audience.

Ryan came around the corner with his phone ready to record. The smirk on his face was equal to Javi's. "Come on guys, it's for a good cause."

Castle shook his head. "Yeah, yeah, let's get this over with."

The two stood next to each other and waited for the signal to start. Ryan pointed at Beckett as his phone pinged.

"I'm Kate Beckett."

"And I'm Richard Castle."

"I was nominated by Javier Espositio."

"And I was nominated by Kevin Ryan. We both nominate Alexis Castle, Victoria Gates, and Maddison Queller."

Kate squealed out and covered her head. "You have 24 hours. Good luck!"

Castle did the same as Espo dumped the freezing cold water over both of them.

Castle jumped back, grabbing for his towel from behind Ryan. "Oh my God, it's freezing!" He sprang back to Kate and wrapped her in her own towel.

"See, that wasn't so bad." She smiled at him.

"Yeah, it was," He stopped and shook his head next to Kate, showering her with the water in his hair. "Refreshing."

Kate gasped and did the same, slapping him with the end of her ponytail.

"Ow!" Castle gasped. "That hurt!"

She smiled up at him. "All's fair in love and ice bucket challenge."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	24. Chapter 24

**Hi there!**

**Prompt by Mariah Laber: Rick and Kate reminisce on Alexis' birthday.**

**Thank you as always for your amazing outpouring of support in the reviews, favorites, and follows. It means so much!**

**Still working on prompts, but feel free to send them in!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Sixteen, can you believe it?" Rick walked up to where Kate was standing and leaned towards her.<p>

She kept her eyes on Alexis as she snaked an arm around Castle's waist. "Seems like just yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital."

They watched Alexis as she interacted with her friends at her "don't go over the top, oh but we're definitely going over the top" sweet sixteen party at the loft. Castle went as far as to rent a DJ and a palm reader; he just couldn't do anything small.

"I know. It's crazy."

"I think we're doing alright so far, don't you think?" Kate looked up at him finally, a small smile on her face.

"I mean with parents like us there's no way we could screw her up."

Kate laughed and smacked him on the chest.

"No, I agree. She's amazing. We're doing an alright job." He kissed Kate on the top of her head and squeezed her to his side.

Kate huffed out a breath, a combination of happiness and sadness that her little girl was growing up. She remembered the day she found out she was pregnant with Alexis as if it had happened a week ago.

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><p>She was late, like really late. She hadn't thought anything of it at first. She had been awfully stressed at work, and she wasn't eating as much as she should have been. But when you're so late that you notice you're late, something's up.<p>

"Just breathe, Kate, it could be anything. You've had a hard week." She paced the bathroom, her hands pressed to her forehead as she comforted herself in the silence. Castle was away for the day for his books, leaving her alone to freak out.

She knew they both wanted to have a baby, they had talked about it plenty. But what she didn't know if they were ready for it just yet.

"Why is this taking so long?" She peeked at the timer on her phone, the two minute waiting period far too long for her liking. She didn't dare look at the test, though. That was sitting out of view waiting for its big reveal.

The timer on her phone finally went off, and all she could do was stand statue still, staring at herself in the mirror. This small, little stick was going to either change her life, or do absolutely nothing at all. Two completely different ends of the spectrum with every emotion making a presence in between.

"You can do this." She took a deep breath and peeked at the lines. "Oh my God."

Two lines. There were two lines on the stick. Two lines meant pregnant. She was pregnant.

Kate gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. She was going to have a baby. There was a little, tiny, person growing inside of her that was half Castle and half herself. They were going to raise a person to be good and know right from wrong. They would experience firsts; first smile, first word, first birthday, first day of school. They would go through the first significant other, the first car, the first kiss, and the first heartbreak. They were going to send a person on a life journey and help them on their way, and to Kate, that was the most incredible yet frightening thing that could ever happen.

The most amazing part about all of this was that she already loved the little person inside of her unconditionally.

"I'm going to have a baby." She leaned against the wall, a huge smile spread wide across her face. She lifted the palm of her hand to her forehead and gently placed the other on her stomach.

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><p>She was sitting on the couch when Rick came through the door that night. Immediately, she jumped up and made her way to him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.<p>

"Hey." He smiled down at her. "Happy to see me?"

"I'm always happy to see you." She pecked him quickly on the lips, buying herself some time to stop her hands from shaking so badly.

He saw right through her, though. "Everything alright?"

"Of course!" She bit her lip and went into her script, trying not to speak too fast. "I was just playing scrabble and I used all my letters. Pretty sure I beat your score from the other day." She pursed her lips and glanced over her shoulder at the board laying on the table.

"Impossible." He locked his attention on it and broke out of Kate's hold, striding over to see if she had actually, for the first time, beat him. But when he looked at the board and how the letters where arranged, he knew that she had actually beat him.

'WE ARE HAVING A BABY' The board read.

He turned to face her, his mouth hanging open in shocked joy. "You're?"

Kate nodded, a giggle escaping her lips.

"We're having a baby?" He questioned again, and when she nodded a second time, he threw his arms around her waist, scooped her up, and spun her in a circle, laughing the entire time.

When Castle put her back on the ground, she spoke. "I took the test today. We're pregnant." She covered her mouth with her hands.

Castle did the same, pure shock coursing through him. "This is the best news I've heard all day. I love you." He pulled her to him again, kissing her hard and falling into the couch with Kate in his arms.

"I love you too."

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><p>"Castle?" Kate sat up in bed. It was dead silent around her, a rarity in the city. It's like her surroundings knew something was different. "Castle?" She repeated again.<p>

This time he rolled over, groaning in response.

"Rick?" She raised her voice, turning on the lamp beside her.

At the urgency in her voice, he sat up and faced her. "What's wrong?"

"I think my water just broke." Any ounce of calmness that was keeping her sane left at that moment of admittance. All at once, everything became real; she was about to be a mother.

"Are you having contractions yet?" He got up and changed his clothes as he spoke.

"No." She shook her head, but kept the rest of her body still. This was definitely the calm before the storm.

He slipped a shirt over his head. "When did your water break?"

Kate looked at the clock next to her, biting the inside of her mouth. "Maybe three minutes ago."

"Are all of your things ready?" Rick ran a quick hand through his hair.

She nodded and then swung her legs slowly over the side of the bed. "In the bag in the front closet."

He came around to her side of the bed and cupped her cheek. "Then it looks like we're ready to have a baby."

An hour later Kate lay in delivery, a perfect little girl in her arms. Her delivery had been quick, thank goodness, and Castle was so supportive the entire time.

Kate traced the little girl's nose, smiling down at what they had just brought into the world. "Hi, Miss Alexis. I'm so happy to finally meet you."

Rick watched from her side, marveling at his wife and his first child. They were brilliant, simply brilliant. It didn't matter how good he was at writing, nothing he could ever write could describe how he felt at this moment.

Kate caught him watching her and smiled. "Do you want to hold her, dad?" She smiled at that, prompting him to hold Alexis.

He reached out and scooped the little bundle out of Kate's arms and into his own. He really couldn't take his eyes off of her. She was perfect. "Hey sweet girl, I love you." The baby in his arms squished up her nose and Kate giggled, so in love with every little thing.

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><p>"What are you thinking about?" Castle nudged Kate's arm, bringing her back to reality.<p>

She glanced at Alexis again, their gorgeous, brilliant, independent daughter gallivanting through her party, completely on cloud nine. "How amazing she is. How amazing we all are together." Kate stopped, looked up at Castle, and smiled.

"You know, we are pretty amazing, huh?" He smirked at her, holding himself in mock importance.

Kate hit him on the arm before kissing him on the cheek and feeling one on the top of her head in response. Yeah, they were pretty amazing.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hi there!**

**Prompt: 6X23 continuation... I was all up in the feels tonight and I'm not sure why. But this was the result. Hope you like it.**

**I'm in the process of writing requests. I promise, they are coming! Thank you for being so patient with me!**

**As always, I cannot say thank you enough for being so lovely towards my stories.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>I guess it's finally time for me to write this. I never thought I would, but I've been in denial this whole time. Burke told me I should do this as a way to "cope". I didn't have the heart to tell him that coping only works if you plan to get over it. My plans don't include that.<p>

You've been gone for eight months now. It's been hard, harder than I ever could have imagined. Some days are better than others, but none of them are good. I guess you could say the latter half of this stretch of emptiness has been easier. Am I coping? Never. Am I just becoming number? Probably. Either way it still sucks.

Nothing could ever be as bad as that first night. They finally got me out of the hole and away from the car. It took three firefighters and a hysterical plea from Ryan to coax me out. They shuffled me into the back of the car; the car that we were supposed to ride in together after the ceremony. You had insisted we go to a different section of the beach for pictures, hence the car. We were going to be alone, as it should have been, with the photographer. That part always made me laugh.

We finally got back to the house and all of the guests were gone. Every single happy, smiling face that had been patiently awaiting our special day had vanished into thin air. No one wanted to deal with the heartbreak. But it was easy for them to run. They could run. I couldn't. Yeah, they would be sad for a while, shake their heads at the mention of your name, and whisper an empty sympathy directed towards all of us. But eventually they would move on and you would be a memory to them. Not to us; your family, your precinct family, me.

I had slumped up the stairs and into the guest bedroom where your mom and Alexis were. They were sitting on the ottoman, broken in each other's arms. I stood in the doorway, a soggy, tear-stained bride. One, shared look between the three of us and they knew I didn't want to talk. I didn't want to be held in an embrace. I didn't want to be given the opportunity to hurt.

That night, I laid in bed and the entire world came crashing in on me. The silence was unbearable. My chest grew so heavy that I couldn't breathe, the air in my lungs and the blood in my veins like fire coursing through me. I was heaving for breath and instead of trying to calm myself down, I was thinking of you. The only thoughts running through my head were of your car in the hole that ought to be hell. That damn hole that I stood in, with some hope that if you were inside, I could get you out. I'm not a superhero, though, I just play one at work. It didn't matter; you weren't in there.

Alexis must have heard me because she was in bed next to me, holding her arms around me. I let myself cry. I let it out because she was one of the few people that knew exactly what I was feeling. She understood. So your little girl held me as I cried when it really should have been the other way around. But she's strong, obviously stronger than me. We had never been particularly close, but I could never thank her enough for the comfort she gave me that night. You raised an amazing woman.

Eventually I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up the next morning alone. There was a split second where my brain let everything go, but then reality came crashing down around me. The sun shining through the window meant that you had been gone for over twelve hours. Twelve hours of unknown for you. That twelve hours quickly turned into these eight horrifically painful and lonely months.

I realized that I had been in denial this entire time, thinking, praying, hoping, wishing that we would find you. Until now.

They found your body today.

They're not completely sure it's you, but all of the signs are there. They know the remains are male. Tall, broad, just like you. Dental records aren't back yet, but I was told that they were a good set of teeth. Well taken care of.

So this is why I finally decided it was time to write. I have to say goodbye.

I never wanted this to come, yet I am struck with an emotion I'm not sure I want to admit even to the paper. I'm relieved. You deserve this closure. You deserve to be laid to rest in the right way. You didn't deserve to die. A man so good and kind and wonderful like you never would deserve this, but you, so sweet and genuine and whole deserves to be remembered and honored properly. You deserved a proper end to your story.

I am so, so sad. There's no other word to describe it. I'm sad because you're gone. I had hope before that we might get you back; that's what we had been trying to do all of this time. But now, you have to stay gone; this is the only time I didn't want to find any evidence. I didn't want to solve a case this way.

Now, I have to wear a black dress and walk down the aisle and watch the people closest to us cry and grieve and be sad. I have to listen to people close to you talk and tell stories of the good ole' days. Then I have to watch as they lower you into the earth and you become one with it. I have to accept the apologies of your family and let them see me cry. Because let's face it, I'm past hiding my tears from them. There's too much pain to conceal. And then when it's all over, I have to come back here and be alone. I don't want to do that. God, I don't want to do that.

But before any of that, I need to say thank you. I need you to know that I am forever grateful for everything you have done for me. Thank you for the opportunity to become something more than myself when I was with you. Thank you for making me immortal through the incredible Nikki Heat. When a writer falls in love with you, you can never die; right? How different I wish that sounded now. Thank you for taking the time to help me break away from Beckett and become more of Kate than I had ever known. Thank you for being there. Thank you for showing me what it was to love and be loved. Thank you for all of the opportunities to laugh. Thank you for the smiles in the morning and the kisses at night. Thank you for the coffee. Thank you for promising me always.

I will miss you more than you will ever know. You're not someone easily forgotten; just the way you like it. I promise to carry you with me for as long as I live. I'm a one writer girl. I'm a one and done.

Goodbye, my lover. Thank you for the eternal love.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	26. Chapter 26

Hi there!

Prompt: A one shot based on the song "Don't Miss Your Life"

Thank you all so much for all the love these little stories have been receiving! Can't wait to write more.

Enjoy!

Castle sat on a plane to Portland, the earliest one he could book for the day. He had had a conference in LA for the second Nikki Heat novel gone movie, an impromptu signing in Washington the same night, and had to be in Oregon that day for two more book signings. On top of that, he was in the midst of writing the eighth Nikki Heat and okaying the plans for the third Derrick Storm graphic novel. In other words, he was busy. Now, he sat, before take off, sprawled out across an entire row in first class, working on everything at once.

Not only that, but Kate had called him every hour to check up on him and make sure things were going as planned. She was at home with the kids and a week away from her due date. Life as a husband, father, writer, and business man was hectic at the moment to say the least.

"Hello?" Rick spit out the greeting before the phone was to his ear.

"Hey, babe."

"Hi, Kate." He smiled.

"How's the west coast?"

He grumbled. "It's not east, that's for sure."

"Well the east coast misses you. So do two little ones."

Castle heard rustling on the other side of the phone. He smiled when he heard the chipper, little voices of his kids. "Hi, daddy!"

"Hi, kiddo! Are you being good for mommy?" He sat forward in his seat, letting his elbows rest on his knees.

"I'm always good!" Caleb boasted, proudly. "I'm helping a lot with Anna so mommy can get some rest before the new baby is here."

"Good to hear my man. Take care of mommy and Anna."

He heard his daughter's sweet, little voice through the receiver. "Daddy?"

"Hi, honey!" Castle exclaimed.

"Coming home soon? I miss you!"

"I'll be home really soon! I love you!"

"I love you too, daddy!"

"Now give mommy the phone back." He was always patient on the phone with them, but when he was talking with Kate again, the business side came out. "Hey, Kate?"

"Yeah?" She sighed, knowing what he would say next.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, exhausted. "I really have to go."

"Okay." She sounded dejected.

He tried to reconcile. "I'm sorry."

"I love you." Was her only reply. He could practically see her, sitting curled up on the couch, biting her nails in frustration.

He closed his eyes. "Love you too." Then he ended the call and got back to his work.

Not half an hour into the flight, an older gentlemen with lean, broad shoulders and snow white hair leaned towards him. He looked of higher status, probably having made a name for himself throughout the years. "Excuse me, son."

Castle looked up from his iPad, visibly huffing out a breath in annoyance.

The man continued. "I see that your busy and I hate to intrude, but I couldn't help but see myself in you. You're focused, driven by fame and money. I was the same when I was your age."

He paused and then spoke again. "I let a lot of important moments slip through my fingers. Don't forget what's important to you." He nodded and sat back in his seat.

Castle leaned back in his seat as well, staring out the window.

He had missed Caleb's kindergarten graduation last spring because he was at a convention in Chicago.

He had missed Anna's first night in her big girl bed while away on a book tour.

Kate had gone to too many doctors appointments by herself during this pregnancy because he was here, there, and anywhere the books and movies and graphic novels took him.

And he could potentially miss the birth of his third child. He could miss one of the most important days of his life because of books. Nothing more than paper and ink. His children were worth so much more than that.

Slowly, he started to pack up his things, shoving them all neatly into his briefcase. He set it beside him and leaned back again, this time making eye contact with the older gentleman.

"I'm glad one of us is making the right decision. I missed my life, son, no reason you should too."

"Thank you." Rick smiled. "I didn't catch your name?" He reached out to shake the man's hand.

"It's John." The man said, and returned Castle's gesture.

"I'm glad I met you, John. My name's Rick."

The man chuckled. "I know." He held up a paperback book, Nikki Heat laid out seductively on the cover. "I love your work."

Rick bowed his head and laughed. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

With on last nod, John returned to himself and left Castle alone.

Upon landing, Rick bought a ticket back to New York and canceled his remaining tour dates. His life was a little more important than that.

The sun was set by the time he returned to the concrete jungle. People were still out on the streets, but he knew exactly where to find the three, soon to be four, people he loved most.

"Kate?" He sat on the edge of the bed next to her. Sweeping the bangs off of her forehead.

She breathed out and stirred, and when she opened her eyes, she sat up immediately. "Rick? I thought you wouldn't be back for another day?"

"I heard some great advice on the plane." He took her hands in his and continued. "I realized that I've been so wrong to leave you guys while I go away for work. I need to be here more to help you with the kids and be here for them. Yeah, I'll have to leave sometimes, but recently I've lost touch with what's really important. And what's important is my family. I don't want to miss another minute of our lives. If I'm needed, then I'm here in New York. Gina can handle things for a while. But right now, it's all about you. Caleb, Anna, Alexis, and this one." He placed his hand on her stomach, leaned down and kissed it. "I'm not missing another second."

Kate wiped at her eyes, the hormones kicking in. "You're an amazing man, Rick."

He smiled at her. "Well I couldn't do it without you." He leaned towards her, kissing her softly on the lips. And then in one, swift motion, they both fell into each other's arms, content for the night.

Please review!

xoxo


	27. Chapter 27

**Hi there!**

**Prompt by conservativegirl: Gates' ice bucket challenge. If you haven't read the first part, read chapter 23 first!**

**Thank you for all the requests and reviews! I'll be getting to as many as I can shortly.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Mr. Castle!"<p>

Rick visibly shrunk in his seat when he heard his name being called from the office. His eyes grew wide as he caught Beckett's attention. "She saw the video."

"Oh yeah she did." Beckett smirked, flipping through her case file.

He heard heels clicking along the hardwood of the bullpen, and then felt an icy hand on his shoulder. "What on earth are you doing nominating me for this ice bucket thing?" Captain Gates stood with one hand on her hip, shoving her phone in his face with the other.

He found the courage to turn and look her in the eye, trying to play it cool. "Sir, it's for charity. I thought you'd want to do it. Good publicity for the precinct, right?"

She paused. She was all about good press. "I suppose. But I haven't the slightest idea what this is about."

"I told you, it's for charity! We'll help you with it at the end of your shift. I'll go easy on you. Free of charge." Castle sat up straight, a sly grin on his face.

"I wouldn't pay you anyway." Gates snorted, turning on her heels and clicking back to her office.

Castles shoulders slumped. "So, you gonna help us get Gates?" He leaned towards her in his chair.

"Uh uh, I want no part of this. I rather keep my job." Beckett shook her head and stood, disappearing into the break room.

"Hit record now." Castle leaned over Espo's shoulder and spoke through his teeth. Espo did as he was told and watched as Castle stood off to the side of the shot.

Gates stood in the alley way behind the precinct, sporting an NYPD t-shirt and jeans she'd pulled from lost and found. "So what do I say?"

"You say your name, what you're doing, who nominated you, and who you nominate." Castle recited, obviously enjoying this.

"Is the camera on?" Gates pointed to Esposito.

Rick crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Mhm."

Gates straightened and smiled. It was as if the documentary crew that had followed them around for a week were standing in front of her. "Hi, my name is Victoria Gates, Captain of the Twelfth Precinct, and this is." She stopped and looked to the boys. "What is this called again? The ASL?"

Castle cut her off. "The ALS ice bucket challenge."

"This is the ALS ice bucket challenge. I was nominated by Richard Castle and Kate Beckett." She stopped and smiled at the camera.

Rick chuckled. "And who do you nominate?"

"Detective Ryan and Det-"

"They've already done it." Castle cut in again and laughed. He stepped into the shot and spoke to the camera. "She nominates LT, Anne Hastings, and her husband. Ryan, go!" He motioned to the window above and jumped back.

On his signal, Ryan leaned out the window and dumbed an entire bucket of water onto Gates. She screamed wildly as the ice cold water hit her.

Gates screamed again. "Mr. Castle, Detectives!"

Castle ran in front of the camera, running his finger across his through, trying to suppress his laughter. "And cut."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hi there.**

**Prompt: September 11th.**

**This is for the men, women, and children who lost their lives, the emergency personnel who sacrificed, and the family members who are still affected to this day. We remember them and keep them in our thoughts and prayers. Never forget.**

**Enjoy.**

/

"Thirteen years." Castle stood at the window in his office, staring towards the direction of where the towers once stood. He couldn't help but remember his friend that he lost all those years ago.

Kate walked up behind him, ducked under his arm, and hugged him from the side. "I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in the academy when it happened. I couldn't really do anything. But I watched my people run into those buildings, and some never come out."

Castle breathed out slowly and squeezed Kate tighter. "It's been 13 years since we lost John. I still think about him, what a great friend he was to me."

She kissed his shoulder. "Did you get to talk to him before?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I had called him the night before. We were going to play poker that weekend. Then he told me he had to go because he had to be at work earlier the next morning." He let out another long,

slow breath.

Kate rubbed Rick's back, still holding into his side. "It's such an awful thing."

"I know." He looked down at her, offering her a sad grin.

"I feel so terrible that I was so useless. We were supposed to have training that day; learning how to use handcuffs of all things. But my instructors came in and told us what was happening. My whole mindset changed." She shook her head, trying to dispel the images.

He faced her, then. "Honestly, Kate, I'm glad you weren't active yet. Because you would have been the first person there, trying to help and not even thinking about yourself. You would have been one that didn't make it out."

"I guess I was in the right place in my life." She nodded and looked at the ground.

"Makes me feel lucky."

Kate looked back up at him. "Yeah?"

"We're here, we're alive, and we're together." He brought her back to his chest again, breathing in her scent, so grateful that they were both here.

She smiled into him, thankful that she had been so lucky. "I agree."

They both turned to look out the window to see the memorial come to life, remembering those that lost their lives thirteen years prior. A day no one will ever forget.

/

**Please review.**

**xoxo**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hi there!**

**Quick update. I have been busier this past month then I ever have been. I've had no time to write, which makes me sad, but no worries, that doesn't mean I'm done forever.**

**I'm deleting my chapter a day story, because like I said, I'm too busy even for that. I will try to start writing again, but no promises as I am half way through my semester and thing will only get crazier from here.**

**I hope all is well with you guys!**

**Also, If anyone wants to talk about the premiere, feel free to message me or follow my Instagram _alwayscastle (two underscores). I rather not go full rant mode in my author's note!**

**Prompt: 7X01 end scene continuation.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"We'll find our way home." Castle whispered, pulling Kate farther into his side.<p>

Kate wiped at her eyes again, the sheer magnitude of what those two months put her through finally coming to the surface. And the fact that he was actually here and he was okay was enough to shock just about anyone.

The two sat in silence a moment longer before she spoke. "You were gone for so long, Castle." She choked on her words, the tears starting again. "I never thought I was going to see you again."

"Hey, hey, I'm here. I'm okay, we're okay." He lifted her chin to look her in the eyes. "Kate." He breathed out. Her eyes were so sad, something he hoped he'd never have to see. "I promise you I'm not going anywhere." He pulled her into his lap and she willingly swung her legs over him and settled near his chest.

Kate let out a quiet sob. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For how mad I was at you when you woke up. I should have believed in you and I didn't. I could have never seen you again and I didn't believe you." Any type of self-control left was gone. She let herself fall apart in his arms, each sob shaking her body. She tried to swipe at her face, but it was of no use. She was powerless to her own emotions. She had locked them up so tight for two longs months and the dam couldn't hold it back any longer.

Somehow, though, she continued. "I would sit in the precinct, well after everyone had left, and I would call and call and call. I would sift through any possible lead we had until I couldn't keep my eyes open. Then I would get up the next day and do it all again. We had _nothing_. And some days I really didn't know if I could do it anymore. I didn't know how long I would have to look." She stopped and found his eyes, sad and tired, but strong. "And now you're here and I realize I would have never stopped looking for you."

"I know you wouldn't have. That's what makes you so incredible. You're drive is something like I've never seen. I know you would have never given up. And if roles were reversed, I would have never stopped if it would have been you."

Kate carded through her hair and thumbed at the lining of Castle's robe. I just wish you remembered where you've been. It would make this so much easier to understand."

"I know, I wish I could remember. But at the same time, I'm glad my last memories were of my drive straight to you. All I was thinking about was seeing you walk down that aisle. How beautiful you must have looked. I can't apologize enough for missing it." He cradled her in his arms, feeling her heartbeat pound straight through her skin. He felt so helpless as she laid so vulnerable in his arms. No amount of apologies or answers could take back what she had felt for two whole months. It was bad enough that he couldn't remember, but the fact that she could was even worse.

A fresh round of tears surfaced, and Kate buried her head in his neck once more. "I so wish you could have been there, Rick. It would have been our perfect day."

Castle let out a long, sad breath, unable to find the words to justify it. You can't justify missing your wedding and going missing for two months. All you can do is try to heal. "We're going to get through this, Kate. And I promise, when we do, we will have our perfect day." He shifted and made her look at him once more. "We deserve it." He nodded and kissed her on the forehead, letting his lips linger there.

"Yeah, we do." She offered something of a grin, but quickly closed her eyes. She breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. A moment passed before she spoke again. "I missed your smell."

"My cologne is right."

She cut him off. "No not that smell. _Your_ smell. The one that is so you that it's no one else. It's not the house, it's not the bed. It's you. It's silly, really."

"I don't think it is." He let himself run his fingers through her hair. He let silence fall, something they were good at by now, before he found his voice. "Why did you cut your hair?"

"It was in the way. Any time I would get anxious I would start messing with it and I'd pull too hard and give myself a headache. It was maddening. So one day I cut it all off."

"I like it short." He offered.

Kate breathed out in response. They sat in silence again, no amount of time in the world long enough for them to do anything but sit in each other's arms.

Finally, the silence was broken when Kate yawned and ran a slow hand through her hair again.

"We both need sleep." He let her go and made his way to his side of the bed. He folded down the comforter and slid in. Kate did the same, and immediately made her way to Castle's side, letting their bodies mold together as if he had never been gone.

In all honesty, she hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since he disappeared. She would wake up throughout the night, whether it be a nightmare or lack of physical contact, and she would be met with the cold, empty right half that only belonged to one person.

Now, she was right back to where she wanted to be. She could already feel her eyelids becoming heavy as she listened to Rick's steady heartbeat under her head. "I love you. And I missed you."

He tightened his grip around her. He didn't remember being gone, but he was so glad that he was home. "I love you too, Kate, so much. Sleep, I'll be right here."

And with that, they fell into unconsciousness with no other thought than of how grateful they were to be together.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hi there!**

**So I've had more time this week than I have in forever. So here's another 7x01 one shot about the chair and the night janitor.**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews to the last chapter. It means so much to me to know you enjoy reading my stories!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>It's 11:07 when she feels herself nodding off in her desk chair. She's been at it all day; trying to form some kind of connection. From dusk until dawn she sits in that chair or stands at the board trying to make sense of the gigantic piece of her life that's been missing for forty five days. She's gone through every single shred of evidence, every lead, every resource she's got, and she's nearing the end of it all. Anything at all would be better than what she has at the moment which is absolutely nothing. She's just about exhausted her resources, but she doesn't plan on giving up that easily. She's gone off less before.<p>

She catches herself before her eyes fall completely closed, physically shakes it off, and rests her chin in the palm of her hand. She drops her pen to the desk and tries to soothe some life back into her tired eyes. Then she combs through her hair with her free hand and grabs her pen again.

It's of no use, though. She drops her pen back to the desk and stares at the picture of him that she has sitting next to her elephants, chewing on the inside of her cheek. It's late and she's at a dead end. She needs him for the dead ends. But that's not possible right now. So she sits in silence for a moment or two, trying to imagine what she would be doing right now if he were with her. She can only hope they would be lying in bed, tangled in each other's arms, basking in the fact that they were finally, after six long years, husband and wife. They would talk about the journey they had been on together to get to that point and how worth every second it was. They would talk about how they both had no idea and how great it was, _still_. They would reminisce on the honeymoon that ended all too quickly, and how they should take another trip really, _really_ soon. Then, he would kiss her good night and they would fall asleep to each other's heartbeats.

How much she wished it was true.

Instead, here she was sitting in the bullpen, almost midnight, trying to find where the love of her life could possibly be. They didn't get married. They didn't have a honeymoon. She hadn't fallen asleep to his heartbeat in forty five days. And once that realization entered her mind, once the heart wrenching truth rushed over her, she shook away any thoughts of sleep, picked up her pen once more, and went onto the next item on her long list of to do's. The moon was telling her to go home, but her heart told her otherwise. He would never give up looking for her if roles were reversed.

It was half an hour later when the elevator opened, the night janitor finally making it to their floor. It had become a nightly ritual. She would look up from her work, he would nod, and she would look back down. And that was that.

On most nights, it was easy to ignore him as he did his duties, but on this night in particular, she heard him approaching her, something he rarely did. She ignored it, though until she heard the legs of Castle's chair start to screech against the hardwood as if someone was dragging it away. As if someone was giving up hope that he would ever return to them.

Kate's head snapped up, her eyes finding the source of her heart dropping to her feet. "What are you doing?"

The night janitor went to speak, a hand still on the back of the chair. He had probably been told to move the thing, but Kate didn't care. This was not his place.

"Stop, just stop. Take your hand off of his chair." She didn't even mean to pull out her piece, but there it was in her shaking hand, aimed somewhere between the floor and the chair. "You have no right to touch that." She felt tears come to her eyes as she lowered the gun back to her side. "I'm, I, I'm sorry."

The night janitor backed away slowly, bowing his head and mumbling an apology to her as he went.

Kate set her gun onto her desk and let herself fall into her chair, her hands covering her face as silent tears ran down her cheeks. No one needed to move his chair because Castle was going to come back. She was going to find him if it was the last thing she did. He was alive and he was going to come home. She knew it.

She lifted her gaze back to the chair, the old, worn fabric dull in the dark of the bullpen. She could practically see him sitting there, his elbow to his knee, the other on his chin, concocting a theory so marvelously fantastic that it actually made some sort of sense in the end. She imagined the countless times he'd plopped down beside her, a travel mug hot and ready for her in his hand. He would smile and say good morning because he thought she was the most remarkable, maddening, challenging, frustrating person.

What she would do to have that back. To have the most honest, caring, respectable man she's ever known back in that old, precinct chair, bringing her coffee and making up stories.

"I'm going to get you back, Castle. Wherever you are or however long it takes. I'll get you back." She carded through her hair again, trying to compose herself after her episode with the poor night janitor. Then, she stood, collected her things, and stood in front of the chair for a moment. She brought her hand to her lips, offered it a kiss, and laid her hand on the armrest. Then she turned toward the elevator without another glance. She had plenty of time to look at it the next day.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hi there!**

**Prompt: Beckett catches Castle leaving the bed to spy on the neighbors in 5x19**

**Thanks to everyone who is sending in prompts. I will try to get as many as I can done in the coming weeks.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Castle lay in bed, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Ever since he spotted the couple across the street, he couldn't think of anything other than what could be going on in that apartment. It consumed his thoughts to the point where he couldn't sleep, even with the pain meds.<p>

He had basically witnessed a murder and no one, not even his homicide detective girlfriend, would believe a word he said. Yes, he had been cooped up for a couple of weeks now. Yes, he had cabin fever. And yes he was probably a little bit; but only a little bit, loopy. But no, he wasn't crazy. He knew what he saw. And he had to prove it.

Even if it meant sneaking out of bed at three in the morning to do so.

He peaked over her shoulder to see if she was asleep. But from her slow, steady breathing, he could tell that she was out. He turned towards his nightstand and grabbed the binoculars that hadn't left his side for two days.

As quietly as he could, he scooted himself to the edge of the bed. He glanced back at Kate again who was still motionless, asleep on her side. He grabbed the arm rest of the wheelchair and drug it over to himself as quietly as he could. Then, he lifted himself up, keeping his bad leg as straight as he could. Mid-move, he knew the jig was up.

"You're kidding me, right?"

Castle froze, visibly shrinking, before he turned towards Beckett, an innocent look on his face. "I just had to go to the bathroom."

She raised an all knowing eyebrow and propped herself up on her elbow. "With binoculars?"

He looked towards the living room and the vast wall of windows, back to Beckett, and back to the windows. He was silent for a second more before he knew he had to respond. "I was just gonna." He pointed somewhere between the door and the corner of his bedroom.

She shook her head and sat up all the way, pushing the covers off of her. "Nu uh. Don't even try." Kate stood up, wagging a finger at him.

He opened his arms, exaggerating his words, the binoculars flinging around. "Kate, there's something going on over there, I can feel it!"

She rounded the bed and stood in front of him. "Castle, everything is fine! If there was a problem, I would know about it. It _is_ my job. I promise you, if I thought something was wrong I would take care of it. But there isn't. You're bored and I'm sorry I've had to leave you here by yourself, but that's not an excuse to make up stories."

"But." His shoulders sagged and he puffed out his bottom lip.

"No buts." She ran a hand through his hair and crouched down until she was eye level with him. "Please just come to bed before you hurt yourself. The last thing we need is for you to be out for another four weeks."

"Can I at least try to write since I'm up?" He tried to sound convincing to her even though he knew he wasn't.

She pursed her lips at him. "How many times did you use the word speculate the last time you tried that?"

He nodded and set the binoculars on the floor beside him. "Point taken."

"Come here." She extended her hand and he took it. She helped him stand and lead him back into bed. She crossed back to her side and settled in next to him, resting her chin in her hand. "Don't worry, you're going to be back on cases with me in no time. No more of this murder across the alley stuff, okay?"

"Okay." He grinned at her, mimicking her stance.

"Good. And if you try and get up again I will figure it out and you'll be in trouble. I'm a detective after all." She poked his nose and then leaned in and pecked him on the cheek, feeling bad for snapping at him.

Castle just huffed at her.

She scooted the last couple of inches to him and settled in under him, letting him rest his head in the crook of her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and ran a hand through his hair. "Now, sleep."

He kissed her collar bone and held her close to him. "Good night."

She drug her hand up and down his spine, feeling him relax into her. "Goodnight, Castle."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hi there!**

**I want to apologize for being so absent, but midterms and running have taken over my life at the moment. I finally found a little bit of time to write a one shot for you guys. So sorry for the delay and for not doing the prompts in order. I'm going to do as many as I can when I get the time. Right now is just not the best time. Please bear with me, though, because I love so many of the prompts I've been spent and I want to make you all happy.**

**Thank you to everyone who continues to review, favorite, follow, and send me ideas!**

**Prompt by Xientia: Explaining why Beckett is always wearing her engagement ring now.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Castle stood in the doorway watching Kate as she sat on the edge of their bed. He'd caught her a lot recently, sitting off by herself. It wasn't out of sadness or anxiousness, or anything to be concerned about for that matter, but rather a time of reflection. Because after a moment to herself, she would always return to her rightful place in their life together and carry on as they always had. This time, though, he noticed that she was staring at her ring, twisting it around her finger.<p>

"Hey."

She turned toward him and smiled at him, showing off her teeth. "Hey yourself."

"What are you up to?" Castle walked over to where she was sitting. He didn't take a position next to her, though. Instead, he stood, waiting for her answer.

She secured the ring on her finger. "Just thinking. Nothing important, what's up?"

Rick let out a breath. "Can I ask you something?" He stood, still in front of her, his hands finding their way to his pockets.

"Sure." She nodded, a curious look on her face. Kate patted the space to her left and Castle took it, sitting close to her.

"Before I disappeared, you rarely wore your ring. I know it was because of work, but now that I'm back it seems like you never take it off. Why is that?" He tried to look her in the eyes, but her gaze was set on her hands in her lap.

Kate took a deep breath and finally found Castle's eyes, looking at him intensely. "I had realized that it was more than just a ring to me."

He gave her a puzzled look, so she continued.

"I was so excited to marry you that day that you disappeared. We had waited so long and gone through so much shit. And then you were gone. In the blink of an eye it went from the happiest day of my life to one of the worst. If I hadn't wanted to marry you before, I wanted nothing more than to marry you then. I wanted that closure of being able to finally call you mine and have you call me yours. I was so angry that that day was robbed from us. I finally found someone that gave me the ability to be myself and accepted me for me. And I wanted to finally have that peace, that closure, from one phase of life to the next."

She stopped for a second, looked at her hands again, and then back at Castle. "And remember those rituals that I was telling you about?"

He nodded, and gently tucked a stray curl behind her ear.

She looked at the engagement ring again. "I made the ring one of them. I would wake up in the morning and go to my jewelry box. I had a picture of you in there. I would pull that out first and look at it. I would tell myself that you were going to come home, I just needed to put the pieces together. I needed to think like you and find the missing link. I would slip on my dad's watch first, and then my ring. It was as if it were you saying to keep going, pushing me to look harder, to never give up. It was a promise that you would be back and that we would get married. It gave me hope." Kate stopped and ran a tender hand along his cheek and down his jawline, inspecting every inch of his eyes.

"It turned into you in a way. It was a piece of you that was only for me. Usually I have you, the real, physical you. But when you were gone, I didn't. I had nothing other than this. Now I realize that I always want to have that piece with me as a reminder to what we went through. Things can go so bad, but if you have hope, you can regain that stability and carry on."

Kate straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You're right about me wearing it everywhere now. Because even though you're back, I never want to have the uncertainty of losing you again. I would never take you for granted, but I lost the significance of wearing my engagement ring. I want to show the world that, no we aren't married just yet, but yes, I'm so ready, so excited, and so proud to be called your fiancé. We've been through a world of pain, but none of that matters now; we're alright."

Castle pulled her closer to him, in awe of his KB. "You still find ways to absolutely dazzle me, you know that, right?"

She smiled, her face just inches from his. "Well you deserve it."

"I deserve none of the acclaim that you give me." He widened his gaze.

She combed through his hair, a grin toying at the corners of her lip, showing how unconditionally she loved him. "Well after everything you've helped me through over the years I think you do."

"Ove the last six years we've helped each other." He smiled as well, running his hand up and down her spine, making her shiver into him.

Kate let her head rest on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart so close to hers. She was still so, so thankful that he was back in her arms. "And that's why we make such a great team."

"The best I've ever and will ever be a part of." He held onto her, breathing in her perfume as she laid into him.

Kate sat up, then, and found his eyes as his did hers. "I love you so, so much."

Rick kissed he forehead slowly, cupping her face in his hands. "I love you more than you will ever know."

A sly smile found its way to Kate's mouth. She leaned close to him, their lips almost touching. Her voice was barely a whisper when she said, "Well you can show me, if you want, so I can know a little better."

Castle matched her tone, murmuring, "I like your thinking, detective," before falling into the bed with Kate right by his side.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hi** **there!**

**I** **somehow** **found enough** **time this weekend to write two one shots, YAY! This** **is** **definitely getting back to my angsty style; haven't written much of it recently, so this was fun (as fun as writing angst can be...)**

**Prompt from a reviewer: Wintersong** **by** **Sarah** **McLachlan**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The sky is grey, the threat of snow ever present as winter takes over. The air is cold and the wind gusts every now and then. There's no sun in the sky, just a vast sea of clouds hanging over head. It doesn't stop those in Central Park, though. Families pile into horse and buggies and couples skate over the frozen lake, total bliss present in ever laugh, smile, and warm embrace.<p>

Kate walks through, her hands deep in the pockets of her trench coat, her scarf up to her nose. She's been walking for an hour now, any coldness turning to numbness a long time ago. She doesn't mind, though, it's better than sitting at home, alone.

She's not at work, because Castle and her agreed that they would start a new tradition; she didn't have the heart to break that. To go back to her yearly routine of sitting at her desk while everyone else was at home with their families. She just couldn't.

She finds a bench and sits, watching the people happily chirping around her about the day and their plans for the next. She sees a couple, a young lady with a bright smile and a gentlemen that holds her close to him. She smiles and kisses him on the cheek which prompts him to lift her up and spin her in circles. The woman is squealing and laughing while the man smiles ear to ear. Kate wishes she had that happiness again, that pure, untamed feeling of love. It's Christmas Eve, and she's alone.

She's been alone since the day of her wedding. The day that changed her life for the worse. The say that Rick went missing and never came back. No matter how hard she searched, leads turned to dust and dust turned to a complete dead end. He was gone. Out of the blue, there was no trace of him; truly like he disappeared into thin air.

So instead of working on Christmas and the eve of as she always did, Kate found herself in Central Park trying to feed off of the positive energy that everyone around her was feeling. But as hard she she tried, she couldn't. He was supposed to be here, but he wasn't. They were supposed to spend these days together just like they had told each other. A new tradition; this wasn't what she had in mind.

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><p>She lays in bed, their bed, one side completely still and cold. She turns to face the emptiness, a hand laid gently over the comforter where he once laid.<p>

A lone, frustrated tear runs down her cheek and onto her pillow as she tries to imagine his arms around her. Her face scrunches up in agony as her heart breaks for the millionth time. She's so sick and tired of being alone. It's been almost eight months and her recollection is slowly melting away. How can someone's presence, so crystal clear and familiar, start to drift away into nothing? That's her man and she can just barely remember his laugh. She's so thankful that the room still smells like him, but that too will slowly drift away. She can't bear to imagine what will be gone in another eight months. She can't lose the memories of him, that's all that's left.

She positions herself in the middle of the bed, pushing a pillow to her back, in hopes that it will trigger a memory of him laying close to her. Just a small remembrance of him laying so close to her, his breath on her neck, his hand around her waist, his heart so close to hers. She lays this way, picturing him next to her until she falls asleep completely alone.

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><p>She wakes up in the dead of night, the absence of her lover pulling her out of unconsciousness. Something she'll never get used to is being alone.<p>

Instead of staring at the wide expanse of bed that isn't filled, she sits up and swings her legs over the side of the bed. She notices the time on the clock. 12:04

It's Christmas.

The first Christmas without him.

Kate rubs the sleep from her eyes, and breathes out slowly. She tiptoes over to the window and notices that Mother Nature has dusted the ground with snow and the Christmas angels are sending it down in big flakes as she takes it all in from the bedroom window. If he were here, he'd be behind her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pushing his nose into her neck. She'd lean into him and close her eyes in blissful happiness.

And one Christmas was supposed to turn into five and then ten, with little ones down the hall just waiting for the day to arrive. They would run in and jump on Kate and Rick's bed and mom and dad would play along, so eager to watch the joy on their kid's faces. They were supposed to spend holiday after holiday making memories and experiencing new things. They were supposed to do life together. She was supposed to be a Castle; she wanted nothing more. They were supposed to have a life together and a good one. They were supposed to be a family; finally after so much time and so many shared memories.

But instead, she stood in front of the window, facing the apartment building across from his, the snow falling more heavily now. Even for New York, it was quiet, the streets desolate below. Everyone was at home with their families; not alone.

Kate placed her palms on the icy pane of glass, tilting her head to look at the dark sky above.

"Merry Christmas, my love."

After a moment with her gaze to the sky, she dips her head and returns to their bed. She lays facing his side again, this time gathering his pillow close to her chest. "I miss you. Please come home."

She closed her eyes, took one, deep breath, and willed herself to sleep to forget that she was alone at least until morning.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hi there!**

**So by popular demand, I wrote a follow up on my last one shot. Yes, a two shot.**

**Prompt: Castle comes home on Christmas. (Fluffy)**

**Thank you all for reviewing and sending in prompts. I'm find in time to do them slowly but surely.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>It's 5:30 when she wakes to her phone ringing beside her. She pulls herself into a sitting position and holds her phone to her ear, the caller ID completely irrelevant at this time of day.<p>

"Beckett?" It comes off harsher than she intended, but it's Christmas for crying out loud; all she wants is to sit in bed today and mourn.

"Kate." Espo's voice on the other end of the receiver is calm, somber even, something Kate rarely hears. It's because he only speaks this way when something is way beyond serious. When something hits close to home.

"Espo, what's wrong?" She can't help but jump to her feet, her fight or flight still residing deep within her.

"My buddy, he's a cop upstate. A couple of hours ago they found a car abandoned near a pond. There was a man inside. My friend recognized him and called me. Kate, it's Castle. He's alive."

Kate's hand flew to cover her mouth as a sob claimed her lips. She felt the tears streaming down her face before she even knew she was crying. No sooner did she have to sit back down, her entire body shaking, pure adrenaline coursing through her. Another sob filled the quiet room as she sat in stunned silence.

In that moment, time stood completely still. There were no words, no feelings, no emotions to express what she was feeling. Relief beyond compare, unexplainable happiness, and pure shock.

"Beckett? Beckett? Kate?" Espo called through the phone, her inability to respond worrying him.

She finally snapped back to attention, even if for a brief moment. "He's alive?" She wiped at her eyes as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"He's here, Kate. He's alive."

As if she were being lied to, she asked again. "He's coming home?"

"Yeah, he's coming home." She could hear a smile in his voice as he delivered the news of the century.

She pulled her hair out of her face and covered her mouth again as fresh tears poured from her eyes. "Oh my God." She tried to compose herself, immediately snapping into cop mode. "Where are you? I need to come right now." She stood and made a b-line for her closet, needing to be ready an hour ago.

"Stay put. Ryan and I are on our way back. We're bringing him right to you."

"But how-"

"He's already been checked at the hospital and cleared. We wanted to make sure everything was fine before we called you. I wanted to give some good news on Christmas."

"Thank you, Javi." Her gratitude she felt towards her friend and what he had just given her was something that she could never repay him for.

"No need to thank me. I'm just happy we're bringing him home. We'll be there in an hour." After a quick goodbye, they both hung up the phone to signal the countdown until the reunion of the writer and the muse.

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><p>The next hour, Kate tip toed through the house, her poor finger nails nothing but nubs. Finally, she found herself in front of the full length mirror in their bedroom, a skeleton of the woman she once was staring back at her. She had lost weight in the time that he'd been gone. The natural glow of her cheeks was non existent. And her eyes lacked a certain sparkle. None of that mattered, though. Not the crying or the sleepless nights. Not the nightmares or therapy she forced herself to go to. Not the endless searching and dead end leads. No, nothing of the sorts mattered because Rick was coming home to her. Today was the day that everything changed. Because he was coming home. She was done being alone.<p>

In the midst of pulling her hair out of her face, she heard the front door creak open and shut. She heard boots on the hardwood that stopped abruptly, right in the middle of the foyer. Kate raced out of the bedroom and stopped dead in her tracks.

There, breathing, living, and real, Castle stood before her. He was wearing someone else's clothes, he'd lost weight, and his hair was a mess. But he was here. He was

alive.

Javi and Kevin quickly made their exit once they knew they had completely their job, no need to intrude on the sweet, sweet reunion if their friends.

"Rick." Kate leapt towards him, throwing herself into his arms. She clung to him, her face in his chest as heavy sobs shook her body.

"I'm here, Kate. I'm here." He pulled her close to him, unable to feel as though she was close enough to him.

She pulled back and found his eyes, looking longingly into them. She cupped his cheeks in her hands, needing this solid, physical proof that this wasn't a dream. She brushed the hair off of his forehead and ran the pad of her thumb over his cheek bones. She found his eyes once more. "I never thought I was going to see you again."

"You didn't think I'd leave you, did you?" He raised a single eyebrow at her, but failed to keep it there. All he really wanted was to have her in his arms and never let go.

She shook her head. "I'm just so happy you're here."

Castle kissed Kate on the forehead. "Merry Christmas."

Tears pooled in her eyes, the memories of last night presenting themselves. She was so prepared for the sadness that this day would bring. She was ready to mourn the loss of her lover so many months ago. She was ready to be alone. But here she stood, wrapped in his arms. He was here. He came back to her. She wasn't alone. A true Christmas miracle. Kate pecked him quick on the lips. "Merry Christmas, Rick."

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	35. Chapter 35

Hi there!

Prompt: Kate and Rick are together in 3x07 while Martha is having Alexis do breathing exercises.

Sorry it's short!

Enjoy!

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><p>"Oh that's pleasant." Beckett rolled over, stuffing her face into her pillow. She pulled Castle's arm from around her waist and laid it over her exposed ear.<p>

Somewhere beyond the bedroom, Martha could be heard leading Alexis in high pitched, highly obnoxious "exercises" for God knew what reason.

Castle propped himself up by his elbow, squinting largely in the direction of the symphony happening in his living room. "What in the? I was having the best dream."

Kate opened one eye and skillfully rolled it at him. "Is this a regularity in your house, writer boy?"

He ignored her question. "Maybe if we ignore it, it'll stop."

Kate forced herself to lift her head and look towards the source of their waking. "That doesn't seem to be happening." She huffed and fell back to her pillow.

Both Castle and Beckett pulled themselves out of bed and sulked towards the living room.

In the living room, Martha had her arms extended, projecting her voice while Alexis mimicked her, a perturbed look on her face. "Mamamama Ho, ha. Mamamamama ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha and relax."

Castle stood behind Beckett and wrapped his arms around her neck, letting his head rest on her shoulder. "I had a dream that I was floating on a lily pad. And the Swedish bikini team was reciting positive reviews of Naked Heat."

"Oh you were?" Kate whispered, turning her head towards him.

"None were as pretty as you." He whispered into her neck.

Martha smiled at him, all of her grace and elegance shining through before the sun's debut. "Well that sounds lovely."

"Yeah." He tried offering her a smile in return, but the circumstance didn't feel right.

"Why are you telling us this?" Martha raised an eyebrow at her son.

"Well because of you my Swedish paradise turned into a wailing cat shelter." A sour look registered on his face.

"You call it wailing cats. I call it cat murder." Kate rubbed at her eyes and wrapped her robe tighter around her waist.

Alexis plopped into the couch, rubbing at her eyes. "We're doing voice exercises to strengthen abdominal breathing."

Castle squished his face up in exaggeration. "At five am." He sat down, rubbing his eyes, desperate to wake up just a little.

"A little excessive, even for me." Kate grumbled, dragging herself into the kitchen, thanking God that Martha had made coffee.

"Preparation is the foundation to an inspired audition." Martha waggled her finger at Alexis and tapped her chin. She sipped her coffee and wondered into the kitchen.

Alexis tiptoed over to Rick and perched beside him on the couch. "I mentioned to Gram last night that I was thinking about trying out for Grease at my school." She whispered, hoping Martha wouldn't hear her.

Castle talked in hushed tones as well. "Oh. The whole Gram goes over board because acting is in your bones routine."

"Yeah." Alexis nodded once.

"Rookie move telling her about the audition."

"I even know not to tell her I was in drama in high school." Kate handed Castle a mug and sat on the opposite side of Alexis. She laid her head on Castle's shoulder.

"I wasn't sure I would have time with all of my other clubs, but I thought it would be fun. I didn't know she would wake me up when it was still dark outside." She shrunk into Castle's side.

Martha, obviously hearing everything, sauntered back over, still wagging her finger around. "An actor needs to learn to make sacrifices for his craft. Besides, we'll all have plenty of time to sleep when we're dead." Martha laughed heartily while Beckett, Castle, and Alexis yawned simultaneously.

As if on cue, Beckett's phone rang.

"Speaking of dead." Castle chimed in.

Kate answered her phone. "Beckett? No, no," she rolled her eyes, "of course I was up." Kate yawned again and flopped into Castle's shoulder again, before hanging up and huffing in exhaustion.

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><p>Please review!<p>

xoxo


	36. Chapter 36

**Hi there!**

**Prompt: Little Alexis goes to the precinct for the day.**

**I wrote this as if she were kindergarten age and obviously she's Kate's daughter. I think this is such an adorable idea.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Alexis crept into Kate and Rick's room, tiptoeing on the cold hardwood towards their bed. She climbed onto Kate's side and tapped her on the cheek. "Mommy."<p>

Kate grumbled and turned to face Castle. "What time is it?"

"6:45." He mumbled from somewhere in his pillow.

Alexis bounced up and down, shaking Kate's shoulder. "Mommy it's today! It's finally today!"

Kate sat up and pulled Alexis into her lap, wrapping her in her arms. "It is! Go ahead and put your outfit on that I laid out last night and then come down for breakfast, okay? Mommy and daddy still have to get ready." She lifted her girl out of her lap and let her squirm to the ground.

"Okay!" Alexis called over her shoulder as she ran from their room and straight to the stairs.

"She's so excited." Castle sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"I'm glad," Kate smiled, "Now she'll finally get to see what I do."

"What _we_ do." He corrected her.

She shot him a look, obviously giving him a hard time. "What I do and what you help with."

Castle pulled himself from the bed and stuck his tongue out to her. "Yeah, yeah. I'll go put the coffee on."

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><p>"Mommy, I'm ready!" Alexis stood on the landing, puffing out her chest and grinning ear to ear.<p>

Kate couldn't help but giggle and cover her mouth with her free hand. "Oh, Lex, you look adorable." Kate knew she was going to look cute, but this was almost too much to handle. She had found a little pair of dress pants and a blazer to match. She had on her little black boots and a pink tie. Alexis had even put a pink bow in her hair to match. Literally a little, mini, Kate.

Castle scooped her up and carried her to her seat at the bar, plopping her down in front of a stack of pancakes. "Detective Alexis is ready for the day."

"Not before breakfast, dad." She raised her tiny, sarcastic eyebrow at him.

"Right, not before breakfast." He snorted and nodded, taking a sip of coffee.

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><p>"Brush your teeth?" Kate gathered her coat in her arms, a travel coffee snug in her hand.<p>

Alexis nodded.

"Go to the bathroom?"

Another nod.

"Got your backpack? Lunch?"

"Right here." She turned, displaying a little faux leather backpack and matching lunch box. Kate didn't settle for anything less than the best.

Castle kissed Kate on the cheek and leaned down to do the same to Lex. "Alright, let's go." He told them, pushing them all out the door.

Once they arrived on the correct floor, Kate led Alexis towards the captain's office to get the official welcome to the bullpen.

"Welcome to the 12th, Alexis. We're happy to have you today. I'm Captain Montgomery." Captain Montgomery shook her little hand and gave her a smile.

She stood very straight, shaking his hand back.

"We all hope you have a great day and you learn a lot."

"Thank you." She smiled at him.

Kate gave her captain a thankful nod, and squatted to face Alexis. "Alright little one, I'll show you around." Kate gave her her hand and led her towards the desks. "This is where we do most of our detective stuff. We figure out a lot of our cases right here. This is my desk, and this is daddy's chair."

"This is the interrogation room. This is where your dad and I talk to people that might help me do my job." She let her look through the double mirror, but didn't want her in the actual room. She was too innocent to be in a room where so many people had confessed their sins.

"And this is the break room. This is where we get our coffee and eat our lunch." She let Alexis roam, but she quickly turned back to her parents.

"When do I get to see Uncle Kevin and Javi?"

"They'll be back soon. They're probably following a lead for me."

"Did we hear our names?" As if on cue, Espo and Ryan sauntered in.

"Kevin! Javi!" Alexis' face lit up as she flew across the room to greet her uncles.

"Hi, Lex." Kevin gave her a hug.

Javi lifted her in his arms, "Are you excited about today?"

"Yeah! I finally get to see your work!" She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck, too excited to contain herself.

"So excited that she had us up before seven." Castle gave his friends a look and proceeded to the cappuccino maker.

"Okay, little one, let's go check out my desk so that Uncle Kevin can tell your mom and dad what we were working on." Espo turned and left the adults for a moment, volunteering to keep Alexis busy for the time being.

"Okay!" She clapped her hands and waved over her shoulder at her parents and uncle.

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><p>"Daddy, Javi gave me some candy." Alexis ran over to him and showed him what she had.<p>

Castle snorted. "Thanks Espo."

"Hey, I'm the favorite uncle." He folded his arms behind his head and rested his feet on his desk, smiling widely at him.

"Not true." Kevin walked up behind him and hit him with a stack of papers.

Alexis sat on Castle's lap. "Mommy?"

Kate turned from her work, offering her a smile. "What, angel?"

"Can I come back again tomorrow?"

Kate laughed. "You have to go to school tomorrow."

"But I like coming to work better." Alexis gave her puppy dog eyes.

"Well then you can come every once in a while."

She perked up, looking back and forth between her parents. "Really?"

"Sure, when your dad and I aren't busy we'll bring you back."

"I wanna be a detective when I'm grown up, just like you." She snuggled into Castle's chest, a big grin on her face.

Kate smiled at her, pride emanating off of her. "I have no doubt that'll you will be, Lex, and a very good one too." She leaned over and kissed her head, and stole one from Castle as well.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	37. Chapter 37

**Hi there!**

**So long time no story… School has been absolutely beyond hectic and that's why I took the time to write a one shot. This isn't super long but I needed a break from studying for finals. So here ya go!**

**Prompt: Fic to the song "Wedding Dress"**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>He stands in his tuxedo, pulled straight from his closet and slung into on the way out the door. There's a huge, goofy grin on his face as he stares out at the ocean, trying to calm his shaking hands. He's nervous, he's excited, he's so ready to see his girl.<p>

He finds his mother's glance and then his daughter's, pride smiling from their eyes right back at him.

And in a quick glance towards the house, he double takes. There she is. She's absolutely stunning. Even more beautiful than he could have ever imagined her being; and that's hard to do.

She sees him staring and bows her head, her smile wider than his and her cheeks rosy pink in delight.

He catches her father's glance and he nods, a silent acknowledgment of trust, acceptance, and pride. He squeezes her hand as they finish their walk up the altar. She kisses his cheek and whispers a thank you and an I love you in his ear as his eyes well up. She looks up to the sky briefly, a mouthed I love you sent to the sky. He does the same, hoping she's watching, hoping that she approves of him.

He grabs her hands and whispers a hello, his entire world standing right there in front of him. She breathes out a shaky breath, her hands finding comfort in his.

As they stand on the altar as if no one else was around, he can't help but remember their journey. The absolute ride they've been on to get to this point. They've almost died together, saved each other, fixed each other, taught the other, and loved the other to the point of no return. Through ever laugh, tear, smile, and argument. Through every missed moment, screaming match, passionate night, and crazy adventure, they finally stood, face to face, to say a few words and exchange the rings.

She starts, her worlds carefully chosen, flowing gracefully off her tongue. They're filled with such passion as she stares right at his soul. She loves him more than she ever knew was possible.

She delicately places a band on his ring finger, signifying her words and putting them into action. She is his.

When she is done, he begins. His words are so eloquently thought up, his writer's brain creating a story. He places his whole heart into them as he delivers his love to her. He loves her more than he ever knew was possible.

He slides a band onto her ring finger, signifying his words and putting them into action. He is hers.

And when they both find each other's eyes again, there's a gravitational sensation pulling them together in a kiss. Their first as a unified couple.

Before this, they were something special on their own. They made names for themselves and lived a life that was to their standards.

But as husband and wife, they were extraordinary.

He stands with her in his arms, unable to take his eyes off of her. She catches his glance and smiles at him. Before they know it, they're dancing, off by themselves with the ocean as their audience.

He smiles to the setting sun unable to picture his life as being any more full with love. He's got it all. He truly struck the jackpot. He can't help but to think to the future. All of the memories and experiences they are bound to make. All of the things they will rediscover together.

She kisses his cheek and nuzzles back into his shoulder which brings him back to the present. The past was great, the future even greater. But the right now is all that matters.

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><p><strong>xoxo<strong>

**Please review!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hi there!**

**Here's another one shot!**

**Prompt: Kate is pregnant and craving food at three in the morning.**

**I hate how short these are but I don't have time for long ones like usual. I'll be back to regular writing her in a week.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Castle?"<p>

Nothing.

The room was quiet for another second. "Castle?" She poked his chest a couple of times until he began to stir. "Castle, are you awake?"

He let out a long breath. "No."

She scrunched her eyebrows together. "Then why are you answering me?"

"I'm sleep talking." He breathed out again.

Kate rolled her eyes and propped her head up with her hand. She poked him again, this time not so gently. "Castle."

Finally, he rolled towards her and opened his eyes. "What?" From his tone, he was not amused.

"I'm starving." Kate visibly shrunk as she admitted it.

He glanced over her shoulder and found that the numbers on the clock made it out to be in the wee hours of the morning. "It's three in the morning."

"I'm starving." She repeated, biting her lip.

"Well what do you want?" He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

She got excited and sat up at well. "That potato chip fudge ice cream ooh with Cheetos in it." Her eyes grew wide at the thought and a smile spread across her face.

Castle's nose scrunched up at the thought of it. Back in the day, Kate didn't even want to try the potato chip fudge amazingness. But now she wanted to put Cheetos in it? Vomit. "Kate, that's nasty."

"Nu uh." She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Anyway, you finished all of the ice cream last night."

"Are you serious?

"Not lying."

Kate was quiet for a moment before she whispered. "Well can you go get some more?" Castle looked at her and she grinned sheepishly. "Please."

"It's three." He whined.

"I'm hungry." She rubbed her belly, whining right back at him. "Baby Castle is hungry." Kate gave him puppy dog eyes which put the final nail in the coffin.

"Fine. Only because you're adorable." He leaned over and kissed her forehead before scooting out of bed rustling into his snow boots and coat.

"Thank you." Kate told him. And right as he was out the door, she called out after him. "Oh and get a jar of pickles too!"

"Anything for you my dear." He called back sarcastically and then journeyed into the cold in the middle of the night.

* * *

><p><strong>xoxo<strong>

**Please review!**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hi there!**

**Well... Here I am. I was so busy over my Christmas break that I had no time or thoughts of writing. After almost a month of no writing, this idea popped into my head. It's been too long, and I missed this terribly. But nevertheless, I couldn't stay away forever.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Two AM.<p>

I'm jolted from my sleep, the post-partum nightmares wrecking any ounce of rest I've had since having her. Being a cop isn't all it's cracked up to be; especially when you have children. The overwhelming amount of negatively I've experienced in the field floods my visions every night, reminding me how dangerous it is to raise a child in this world. It's not safe. It probably never will be, but that's the risk we were willing to take when we decided we wanted one of our own.

Even when I discovered I was carrying her, that very first night my sleep was disrupted by the awful things I've seen, the criminal acts I've had to face, and the disgusting things I've had to do. I would wake up screaming, terrified that something like my nightmares could really happen to my child.

I sit in bed, the sheets twisted around my midsection making it hard for me to breathe. She's no longer inside of me, my flat stomach so different from the swollen bulge that kicked every time I ate pickles. This almost taboo normalcy of my appearance reminds me that she is no longer safe inside me. That she is vulnerable and it is my job to keep her safe. I feel a cold sweat on the back of my neck as a shaky breath releases from my lips.

I'm alone in our bed. There's a soft indentation of where his body should be laying, his pillows shoved up against the headboard. I slip from the grasp of the sheets, my toes hitting the floor. The cool, solidity of the hard wood calming my midnight worries, the flush in my cheeks slowly diminishing.

I pad as softly as I can into the next room where I can hear the soft moan of the rocking chair swaying to and fro. I watch from a distance as he holds her, so small and fragile in his big, strong arms. He's as quiet as a mouse as he looks down at her, his face in a content grin as she sleeps so peacefully, her little hands in fists at her head. I know he does this every so often, sneaks in and holds her in the dead of night, whispers secrets to her, but it's the first time I've ever caught him.

Still, I watch from the shadows, not wanting to disturb them. As I watch, though, I am struck with an overwhelming calmness, one that reverses my fears and mellows my mind. It's those little, tiny hands, and perfect, angelic face that completely erase my reservations.

Yes, this totally messed up world is scary and hellish, and no moment here is guaranteed or completely safe. But having such a horrific mentality is what will do you in. Those countless moments as Detective are nothing compared to the joy that my little girl and husband bring to me.

It's the moments in the kitchen after dinner when we're both feeling good after half a bottle of wine. It's the moments in the morning, a silent kiss on the forehead as we both drag ourselves away from the mattress before the coffee has been brewed. It's the midday, _How are things? _when an extra-long breath and frustrated grimace flashes across one of our faces at work. It's the dancing in the living room at noon on a Saturday because why not? And it's the silent conversations in the dead of night that are nothing more than a stroke of an arm or a flip of a lock of hair.

And now, it's the moment that my daughter opens her eyes each morning, intrigued by the things around her. It's the moments when she smiles so big I cry because I have truly never seen anything more beautiful. It's when she cries in the dead of night and I fly down the hall as fast as I can; only wanting to fulfill my duty to keep her happy. It's when those around me shower me with compliments on my precious little one and I blush, trying to hide how giddy it makes me. It's when I'm sitting with her in my arms, singing to her just like her grandmother would have, just like my mother did for me.

It's these moments that make me step back from my livelihood and remind me why I'm here. I'm here to raise this tiny, innocent person into the best possible one she can be. I'm supposed to teach her how to write her name and tie her shoes. I'm supposed to celebrate her life each year and make her holidays as magical as possible. It's my job to teach her right from wrong and send her off into the world at the ripe old age of five to experience and learn and try and fail and succeed. Eventually I'll teach her how to drive. And then help pick out the perfect dress for her senior prom. I'll have to teach her about what it means to be heartbroken and move on and then find someone who loves you unconditionally and who will keep her best interest in mine as she should do for him. And then, when I'm old, I will watch her walk down the aisle and raise her children and make a life for herself and her family in hopes that I did my job the very best I could.

And it's these thoughts and realizations that remind me why I'm here. As I stand in the doorway of the nursery, watching my husband hold our tiny girl in the moonlight, I realized that it's all worth it.

So as I stand in the shadows at two AM, I take a deep breath and thank God for giving me the opportunity to be a mom. For stealing away my reservations and showing me the joys I was missing out on. Any previous fears gone from my mind, I step into the room and tiptoe as quietly as I can over to my family. He looks up and smiles at me as I caress his cheek and find his lips. Then, I look down at our tiny girl in his arms and smile along with him. What I'm feeling is far past bliss, it's long gone from content. It is indescribable. I have truly never been in a better place in my life; and I'm completely in love with this feeling.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hi there!**

**Where do I even start? I have no words to describe how I'm feeling about last night's episode. It was definitely classic, high intensity Castle. In honor of that, I wrote a one shot similar to the one I wrote for "In the Belly of the Beast".**

**Honestly, this all just tumbled out, so I hope it makes sense haha!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>What constitutes fear? What constitutes pain? What constitutes anger? What exactly is the limit or the deciding factor when you're dealt a hand of cards that you weren't expecting? What is that climactic moment in your life when you realize something is about to change and leave you with the inability to continue on as you had before? These questions are ones that may never cross your mind until your world comes crashing down around you.<p>

As I sit here helpless as I've only done once previously, I am struck with a new appreciation for my fears and pain and anger. They were so well hidden, so well managed, so well forgotten. I had the best possible hold I could on them before this moment, but when the single most important person in my life vanished into this air, a sorry, little "help her" written on the dirt on her cruiser, my emotions took an entirely new turn. The flood gates opened, unable to hold back the storm that now consumed me.

Before any of this. Before she left the loft this morning, before she called me to consult, before Tyson was in the precinct, before she left to pick up the girl, my emotions were sealed tight, no reason to feel anything. No reason because she kept me at ease. No matter how dangerous or daunting a situation, we had each other and we would get through it; that's how it had always been. That's how it was always supposed to be.

Now, I'm not sure where my fears start or stop. I'm not sure if I've always been this afraid or if it's something new. Have I always looked at bystanders so menacingly? Have I always suspected my friends and neighbors of trying to tear my life apart? I sit here, my heart going a million miles a minute, my palms sweaty, and my eyes filled with tears, trying to piece together any information I can; anything that will point us in the right direction.

The pain I feel in my gut is indescribable. I truly am at a loss for words. Because how do you try and heal a wound that can only be fixed by the presence of one person? You can't. And again back to my fears; it's the scariest thing I've ever had to face. I have to ask myself the question, 'Will this pain ever go away?' Or am I going to be left with this for the rest of my days? Am I going to have to relive this in a days' time? Put on a suit and watch my friends in their dress blues. Will I go home alone and feel it again, burning deep in my chest as I sit on the edge of our bed. Will it shoot up at inopportune times like in front of a Starbucks or when I see a baby and be reminded that she was ready. She didn't have to say it for me to know. If this pain never goes away, I don't know how I will continue on with my life.

Then I find myself in a fit of rage, ready to tear through the precinct at a million miles a minute. I want to scream and cry and slam my fists into the desk, begging everyone working to work ten times harder. Logically I know we're all doing everything humanly possible. Emotionally, though, I can only keep my profanity to myself as everything moves in slow motion. Time is of the essence; time is ticking. Time is not our friend. If I wanted to do anything more than find her, it would be to put a bullet through Tyson's skull. Even then, I don't think it would ever be enough to forget the pain and suffering he has put me, my family, and my friends through throughout the years. Even his death would not pay for his sins.

And before I know it, I'm thinking of all the things I could have done differently. I could have stayed away from his cell in holding and in the interrogation room. I knew I was provoking him. I knew I was only making things worse. But I didn't care. I thought we were finally bringing the bastard to his knees. I thought I was providing the blows that would finally make him crack. How wrong I was. I could have pushed myself so much harder. We were doing everything we possibly could to bring him down. But what if I could have been there sooner, longer, thinking harder and digging deeper? Could we have solved this before she was taken? But perhaps the thing I'm kicking myself for the most is letting her go alone. When has it ever been a good idea to respond to a call alone? I should have insisted I go with her, not taking no for an answer. And if I would have been with her, maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe we would have seen that it was just a trap and returned to the precinct safe and sound. If only.

Because unlike the last time I was stuck sitting in the damn chair, wondering where she was, I have no clue what could possibly be happening to her. When she went in as Elena, we at least had a partial address to set us at ease. We had a location; a clue to get her back. Now, we're completely in the dark. No one will say or even bare to think it. Jerry Tyson knows what he's doing. He covers his trails before he makes them. His words are twisted and wrapped into a story so elaborate that it has to be true. He could tell you that he was lying and you would insist that he was telling the truth. He could have her tied up in the closet, and you would find yourself in Arizona because that's where he told you to go.

The fact that she is missing is scary enough. But that fact that he is behind it all is enough to put you in the grave. I feel as though I could vomit thinking about what he's doing to her.

And that's where I have to stop myself. That's where my fears and pain and anger become too much for me to handle. If I let myself go down that path, nothing good or positive will ever happen. So for now, I have to try my best to keep a straight face and bottle my emotions. Emotions won't find her. Emptions sometimes only make things impossible; they fog reality and make you act on impulse. I don't need impulse right now. I need information. I need clues. I need to know what to do next.

I need my wife.

I need Kate.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hey there!**

**Prompt: Kate's perspective from the time they find her to the end of the episode.**

****I'm thinking about turning this into a story. So feedback would be greatly appreciated!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>And in a moment, it's all over. The scalpel dangles from my fingertips as I hear the splintering of wood behind me. I can hear the rattling of the assault rifles and people shuffle in, clearing the room. I can hear him utter my name, the very sound of it seeming odd mixed with the buzzing in my ears.<p>

I stand over her body, the blood oozing from her neck. I did it. She's dead.

It's all over.

"Beckett?"

I hear him call as footsteps inch closer. My head is still buzzing and my vision is foggy. Nothing in my brain is making sense. I'm okay, right? I'm not injured, right? Tyson's dead, right? It's Rick behind me calling my name, _right_?

I drop the scalpel as if it were acid on my hands. I'm terrified to turn around, to turn my back on the corpse in front of me as if she might blink once, chuckle at me, and continue on with her rampage.

But I muster all of the courage I have and turn my head. It's all I can do at first, hoping and praying that my team is behind me; another victory in the books. Then I finally see him. It's like tunnel vision, like he's the only one in the room.

But my feet won't move. I'm cemented to the floor, my eyes locked on his as he inches menacingly slow towards me. Hours later he's right in front of me, both of us statues in front of the other. Even then, I have to remind myself that it's really him. It's his smell, his voice, his touch. I let out a shaky breath as my eyes travel up to his. This is real. I'm safe and he's here and he's safe. We're going home. It's upon his touch that I feel my muscles finally start to unwind. I fall into his chest, any fight left in me vanishing as his arms wound around me.

I breathe in sharply and exhale a sob. I have absolutely nothing left.

"We got him, Kate. We got him." He runs a hand up and down my back, an exhausted huff of breath spilling out of him.

The news crashes into me, a wave of emotion I didn't know possible consumes me as another long sob is muffled into his chest. I can feel my body shaking, but it still doesn't seem real. Nothing seems to exist.

I know I'm in shock, but that doesn't make it go away. I try and focus on his heart beat. _Thud, thud, thud, thud. _

"Kate?" He whispers into my ear. "Let's get you out of here."

I nod twice as the room spins. Rick wraps his hand around my waist and I clutch to the other as if my life depended on it. We're moving quickly, but I can't help but think I'm walking through quicksand. We round hallways and duck out of a building. It's a huge, abandoned factory on the outskirts of the city. We're positioned next to the river. There's a siren in the distance. A barge flows with the current. The air is cold. It hits my face, knocking some reality back into my brain.

I can feel my legs coming back to me, my vision is clearing and the buzz in my ears is a little quieter. I don't let go of him, though. I can't.

We make it back to the precinct and I realize I'm still carrying the blood of my enemy on my hands. I duck into the bathroom on the main floor, desperate to cleanse myself of the filth. I can feel my vision becoming foggy as the ringing in my ears becomes louder; I need this off of me, now. I scrub my hands so furiously they become raw. It's all I can do to stop myself from screaming. I need to watch the last remains of my mortal enemy flow down the drain. I need to know there is not one single particle of her left. I need to know that this nightmare is over.

I reemerge from the bathroom, Castle next to me in a second. He hands me an old hoodie and I gladly accept it, shivering. Then I hear the ping of the elevator and we're rushed inside by Esposito and Ryan. I panic for a moment. The last time I was in this elevator I was leaving to help someone; someone that wanted me dead. It seems like a million years ago. How long _was_ it?

Before I have time to think, the doors open again and I am home. The floor is silent as a million eyes stare at me. I find Castle's eyes again, the only safe place I know right now. He nods and I nod back, clutching his hand tighter.

Applause erupts as I make my way through the bullpen. There are smiling faces all around me, happy that I'm back. All I want to do is cry. Instead, I stare blankly at these people as if they were strangers. I stare because I'm still not seeing straight.

The next few minutes are a blur. Lanie is there and Gates scolds Castle. Then Gates says something that pulls me from my haze for just a moment. Castle is back. I smile and throw my arms around his neck, stealing a moment right in the middle of the precinct. He's back and I'm never leaving his side again.

As if a switch was flipped, we're back in the loft and I'm in bed. I'm not sure how I got here, what I did. Did I eat? Am I hungry? What time is it? _How long has it been?_ I know nothing will make sense for a while, but I hate this feeling. I hate having no control. I hate that my blood seems to have turned to ice. I hate that my brain is running a million miles a minute but my thoughts are blank. I hate that I can't shake this.

I close my eyes, trying desperately to make sense of something, but the only thing I can do is imagine her face, just inches from mine. I can feel her breath and count every single freckle on her face. I physically tremble and force my eyes open; now I'm truly exhausted.

I have to stare at the wall and listen to the clock as it ticks, counting every, single second. How long has it been?

And then Castle is next to me, and a wave of reassurance rushes over me.

"Mother and Alexis are on their way home, just after they do some shopping." He huffs out a small breath as he settles in next to me. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't have the strength to meet them. "I don't know how you did it."

"What?" It doesn't even sound like me.

"Kept it together the the two months I was missing. Two days, I didn't know where you were, and it nearly killed me."

I roll over, then, still unable to meet his eyes. "You ever think about what happened, when you were gone?"

"All the time." His answer is immediate and I know he feels exactly as I did when he was gone. And it absolutely kills me. Now we both know of the deep, powerful pressure in your chest that weighs on you day and night. That agonizing nothingness that makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs but silences you with each passing second. It's devastating.

I try to get my mind off of it, but the only other thing consuming my thoughts is equally horrifying. "Every time I close my eyes, I see her face."

He drags in a breath and admits his secret. "I see his too, since that night on the bridge." There's a pause, as he reveals yet another. "You know how I deal with it?"

"No?"

"I open my eyes and look at you."

I can't help the grin that toys on my lips. I reach a hand up to touch his face. He's so handsome, so loyal. He's so beyond anything I could have ever asked for. I can feel the tears pulling in my eyes as I caress his cheek. "Thanks for coming to get me." It comes out as a whisper.

"Always." He leans in and I kiss him. Once, twice, and then find myself so in need of his heartbeat; that reassurance that I am safe, and that he is safe, and that the nightmare is officially over. I burrow into his side, finding his soul, my soul; _thud, thud, thud, thud_.

He wraps his arms securely around me, and I am safe. I am home.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	42. Chapter 42

**Hi there!**

**Long time no write. Season premiere meant inspiration for me. Also, writing is my escape during school so here I am!**

**This a one shot based on the premiere.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Your worst fears may be becoming reality. It's not every day that your wife, the person you love and cherish the most, the one that you trust without limits, the one that you woke up next to this morning, may be hiding something from you. In fact, <em>is<em> hiding something from you. You know without even half the information that it's something huge. You know that whatever it is can't be good. You don't even know what _it_ is. Because you're good at looking at the facts. You're good at putting two oddly shaped pieces of the puzzle together to make a clue. But these pieces just don't add up; there's no clear image of what comes next. No lead, no information, no Kate. You're good at feeling that ache in your gut that tells you when equilibrium is completely thrown off, spun one hundred eighty degrees in the wrong direction. This is what you live for. It's why you're so good at walking into the precinct and solving a case within hours. You take a chance, look at the puzzle in a different way, follow your intuition. Because you're savvy and quick and smart.

Funny part is, she's equally as savvy, quick and smart. Hell, she's even a little bit better. She's one of the biggest reasons you're so good at solving the puzzle. She incorporates so much of her skill into your storytelling that it weaves something so fantastic it just works. But that's only when she _wants_ to. So much so that you had not one trace of a clue that she was going to kiss you, tell you she loves you, and then run out the door to some unknown man, get shot, meet up with you, and then disappear without a trace. One PP your ass. What a good lie. What a subtle delivery. You're good, but she's still ten times better.

And then that gets you thinking. How long had she been planning this? How long has she been answering phone calls in secret, responding to emails late at night, gathering information and watching behind her back? How long had she been working on a different puzzle? She does this for a living. She's good at hiding things. She knows when to lock the phone, close the email, and put a smile on her face. She knows how to live a double life. And sadly, she's damn good at it.

You are angry. And on top of that, you're mad at yourself for being angry. But your wife went completely awol and took off into the _daylight_. She's keeping you in the dark and you have no idea why. She's showing her old self, the one that kept every emotion locked tight. The one that didn't let you in. The one that you thought had been lost years ago. Did you really lose the old Kate, or had you just thought so? Because as of right now, you're not so sure. And that's a beyond terrifying thought to have.

You know all of these things, but God all you want is your wife back. You want to tell her how pissed you are and ask her what the hell is going on. But there's an even bigger part of you that wants to wrap her in your arms and kiss her and tell her you love her and never want to lose her again. Because your love for her is infinite, it's always. It's never ending no matter what. You loved her when she wouldn't let you in, when she did, and even know. You love her more than you love yourself and that's no matter what. No matter how angry or hurt or confused you are. Your undying passion for that woman is unlike anything you've ever felt in your entire existence. She is your puzzle. She's challenging, frustrating, and complicated at times, but at days end, she's beautiful and rewarding and fun. She completes you.

You hate thinking you've been in this place before. You hate knowing this feeling of helplessness. And you hate knowing that you actually do know how to handle it. You know exactly how you're going to feel and act and think. You know that grieving and risking your life and running through the streets of New York is _normal_. Because trying to find your wife under extremely dangerous circumstances is in no way, shape, or form _normal_. Even a somewhat normal day for you would have been kissing your wife goodbye, her actually going to One PP, her returning to the precinct, and you maybe solving a homicide or maybe not. God, how hard you wish that you could have a _normal_ day.

But you take that deep breath, you close your eyes for a brief moment, and you gather yourself. You get ready for what comes next. And once that moment is over, you know that it's back to reality. You know that it's time to work. It's what you do best, besides write, that is. You're good at finishing the real life story. You just always hope and pray that it's a good ending.

You know Kate. You know that she has a reason for everything she does. She'll be back and she'll have a perfectly good explanation for why she took off. You'll be madder than a hornet, but nothing will feel as good as holding her in your arms again. You left her with "always". That's one thing to hold on to. It's time to brush off the morning and finish the puzzle.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	43. Chapter 43

**Hi there!**

**8x02 prompt: The alternate ending we all wanted to see.**

**Alot of this chapter is straight from the scene, but I tried to add progression and thought processes. Hopefully you all see it when you read it.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>She watches him from across the room, a pleasant look on her face. She loves this man. She loves him in every way, shape, and form of the word. She couldn't imagine a single moment without him, and rather not think about the life she lived before him. That's what makes all of this so hard.<p>

"Hey." He glances up from his careful practice of sprinkling marshmallows and folding egg, oblivious to the tension across the room. The only thing he's worried about it is flipping his egg and chocolate concoction. "How about breakfast for dinner. Making smorelettes. Which is technically dessert for dinner, but." Castle stops in the middle of his thought and is then made aware that this will not be a smorelette night. He notices Kate's overnight bag packed full next to the door. Ricks holds the spatula in the air trying to read her face, but it's completely blank. "You going somewhere?"

She can't even look at him with what she's about to say. The first noise she makes is a huge breath out. Does she really have to do this? She has to. "I'm sorry." It's all she can muster as his happy go lucky smile turns to a contorted frown. The silence between the two is incriminating. She has to say something else. She had an entire speech memorized in her head; she had said it over and over again, but it was gone the moment she stepped in front of him. "I love you so much." It's the only thing to say at this point. He has to know that it's true.

His entire demeanor changes as he stands a little straighter. He knows this Kate. It's not the Kate that bounces back easily. This isn't even Kate. This is Beckett. "What are you doing?"

"I have to go." She says it quickly as if doing so would make it all go away.

"Why." He jumps right back. He's not making this easy, not by a long shot.

She's scratching at her pant leg, her nerves too much to handle. She spits out her words, "I, I have to, I have to get my head right. I have to figure some things out so we can have our happily ever after."

"Where is this coming from?" Castle wipes his hands clean, his concern growing. "Is it because of your AG Team? Because of Bracken?" He moves around the bar towards her, saying any possible scenario to get her talking. He just needs her to open up a crack and he'll get her back. He thinks what he says next will get her. "Why are you giving up on our marriage?"

He's so wrong, because she physically takes a step back, her arms out, palms up. She wants this to be easy, she hoped it would be. Her script had made it that way. But in her heart, she knew it never would be. "I'm trying to save it."

"By leaving me?" Now he's mad. How could she do this to him? How could she just give up so easily? It's typical Beckett behavior. Fight or flight. There's no rationale, no logic. It's run and fight and follow instinct. Feelings go straight to the back burner.

"Look, if you have a problem, _we_ have a problem." He keeps his voice low, barely a whisper vibrating off the walls of the loft. "That's how this works." He says it as if he needs to explain to her how to be married. How they do their dance. How they work as a team.

"No, Castle, not this time." Kate shakes her head, the tears continuing to build up.

"Whatever it is, Beckett, we can figure it out. Like always." He's practically begging her at this point. He doesn't want this to happen, can't let it happen. Not again. They're finally in such a good place.

She can't help it, the tears flood her vision as she continues to cut every single string connecting her and Rick. "Rick, do you trust me?"

It takes him a millisecond to respond. "Of course."

"I need you to trust me now. I need to do this on my own. And when it's done I just, I hope that, I hope, I hope you'll have room in your heart to take me back." It physically hurts her to say it, her heart aching in her chest. The tears she's holding back turn into a sob as she looks at the man she loves. He's so broken and she's the one that caused it. She did this and it's killing her.

He's trying not to let it show, but he's so beaten down at this point. He can feel the frown on his face as his chest tightens up. After everything that happened the last two days, Castle never expected it to end this way. He knows he has to cross the line. It's the only way at this point; a last ditch effort. He took three short steps to her, his voice still barely audible. "You know, before Bracken was killed, he told me you would never be happy just being my wife. Please do not tell me that son of a bitch knew you better than I do."

"I love you." She jumps then, knowing she's losing her hold on the situation. She grabs his face as her lips find his. She looks into his eyes, tears ready to spill over at any minute. "I always will. Forgive me." With that, she can't handle the pain anymore. She can't handle what she's doing to him. She turns her back, grabs for her bag, and runs out the door, leaving it wide open behind her. Kate can't possibly face this man that she loves any longer, the look of absolute defeat on his face. He doesn't deserve what she's doing to him.

But she wants to be with him more than anything. And if that meant risking everything she works so hard to get then that meant she had to do it. She stands there, back to the wall, a sob rocking her body. She can't believe this is actually happening. Can she really do this? Can she give it all up? She had the absolute intent of walking straight to the elevator, pushing ground, and racing to the closest motel. The script was so perfect. But who actually ever stays on script? So she continues to stand there.

She risks a look back at the open door. Beckett looks away again and down at her feet. Can she do this? Can she let Bracken continue to beat her down? And that thought sends her over the edge, making her mind up completely.

He stands there, dumbfounded and heartbroken, staring at the door that the love of his life just raced through, seemingly without a second thought. He knows there's no use chasing her; her mind has been made up. It would be like trying to stop a volcano from irrupting. It just doesn't work that way. He can smell his dinner burning away behind him, the smoke curling around the overhead range. He can't move, though, his feet are glued to the floor, his eyes still trained on the vast, empty hallway. She really left. She gave up everything they had to chase ghosts.

Just as he's given up any hope that she'll change her mind, he sees a shadow on the far wall of the hallway as footsteps race down the hall towards his loft.

Kate bursts into the room, her bag dropping to the floor the minute it passes the threshold. "You're right, it's us. It's you and me." She runs to him, throwing her entire body into his. "I'm so happy just being your wife. I am more than happy right here." She's hysterical at this point, relief flooding her body. Once and for all, she's let go of her past. She's finally, truly, wholly let it go. She has to. "I'm so sorry. I love you so much."

There was no way in hell she was going to let that son of a bitch ruin her life. She didn't let him when he was alive, and she surely wasn't going to let him from the grave. Kate buried her head in Rick's neck, "Never again, it's done."

"Thank God." Castle has her tight in his arms. She let it go. She chose him over the job. He's still pissed beyond belief for what she almost did to them, but for the moment, that's all gone. He has her; truly her, and it's never felt so good.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	44. Chapter 44

**Hi there!**

**Here's a one shot of 8X02 set five weeks into the future.**

**Story ideas, reviews, and one shot prompts are always welcome! Thanks for all the support!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>He pulls into the cul-de-sac of the Hamptons house, the lights timed on for the night. It's late and this was a rash decision, but he's had hell trying to sleep the last five weeks. He was hoping being here would calm his mind. God, he's tired and he just wants one nights rest.<p>

He locks the Rari and strides up to the front door, stoops down, and grabs the spare from under the rug. The lock twists easily, and the door opens with a moan. He breathes in the salt and sandalwood of his house, the only place that feels foreign and familiar to him at the same time. Somethings off, though. The lights that are on timers are on,as they should be, but so is the light in his office. He knows that one shouldn't be on. He walks on egg shells towards the room, not sure why or how it's on. He's had the timers set in the house since it was bought; this one is manual.

He's about to peek around the door jamb when he sees a shadow; long, lean, hair tumbling down the figures back. It moves with grace and elegance through the little room. And that's when he knows exactly who it is.

"Kate."

She jumps, her hand going directly to her heart. "Oh my, God."

"What are you doing here?" It's almost ironic; fleeing to this place to try and forget and here stands the problem.

"I'm, I was just." She's stuttering, no real words coming out.

"So this is where you've been staying?" Now it made sense why he couldn't find his actual house key at the loft. He had chalked it up to stress when Kate had been the one to take it.

She drops her head, embarrassed. "It was the only place I knew to go."

There's a long pause between the two.

"Why are you here?" She asks him, her voice quiet.

"Well considering this is my house.." His voice drifts off after that, anger surging through him. Then he continues, "I just wanted a good night's sleep. I thought this would be a nice change in scenery."

"Oh, you should have told me you were coming."

"Kate, how does that make any sense? I've barely heard from you in five weeks." He looks at her questioningly, his brow scrunched.

"I don't know, I just." She just what? She really has no good answer, again.

"Kate." He says her name again. "I was going to try and get ahold of you tomorrow, but since you're here, I guess we can have this conversation now." He has to give himself a minute because once the next words come out of his mouth, it's as real as a bullet shooting through your chest. "My lawyer can write up divorce papers if that's what you want. I've already talked to him."

Kate, as if coming out of a daze, shot up and ran over to him. "What, wait, hold on. Why?"

"You left me. You haven't made any effort to see me or talk to me." He throws his arms up, raising his voice.

"I told you I had to work some things out and I would be back." She traces the wood grain, eyes down, knowing she's barely made any progress.

"It's been five weeks. That's a ridiculous amount of time. How much longer exactly are you planning to make me wait?" He's so tired, no fight left in him. Now, he's just spitting facts and words at her.

More silence. She hadn't even realized it had been that long. In her mind, the days had all run together and it had been, at most, 9 days. But five weeks? This was not good.

"Castle, I didn't realize it had been that long, I never would have left for as long as I did."

"Yeah but you _did_. You didn't think about me once. You left and all you cared about was fixing _your_ problems and chasing _your_ ghosts. I'm your husband and you left without a second thought."

It killed her that he thought it was easy for her to leave. It took her fifteen minutes before she could even pull away from the building. She had sat there, heavy sobs rocking her body with her hands on the steering wheel. Then, she finally gathered herself enough to turn on the ignition and drive out of the city. "I didn't mean to."

"But you _did_!" He slammed his fist into the desk, grinding his teeth. "_You_ went away and _you_ stayed away and _you_ drove me to the point of calling my lawyer and thinking about divorce. _You_ did this to us." He couldn't help himself. He held it in for so long and then all of a sudden here she was without any warning, discrediting his anger. How dare she? How dare she act as though she's not in the wrong?

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." Tears streamed silently down her face as she discovered and rediscovered his pain with every blink of his eyes. She had done this to him, to them. She had destroyed everything they had worked for. How dare she do such a thing? This was all she ever wanted. Barely a year and she threw it away like a crumbled up piece of paper.

"Save it." He raised a hand at her. "I came up here to try and get my head right. You can stay but I can't do this right now." He turned his back, his face contorted into a frown. He couldn't look at her any longer. As pissed off as he was, her tears still broke his heart. But she had broken his and that wasn't okay.

So he ascended the stairs of his ocean hideaway, padded down the hall, and entered his bedroom. He went directly to the balcony, swinging the double doors towards him. The salty breeze hit him, the waves crashing as he stepped out onto the porch. Castle breathed in deeply as he scanned the sea. Scattered, little lights shown throughout the darkness, people on their party boats enjoying their Saturday night. How he envied their happiness. He let himself close his eyes for a moment and forget. He wished he was out on one of those boats, pure ecstasy running through his veins. He wished everything was simple again. He honestly wished his wife wasn't downstairs, the void between them a canyon. He wished none of this had ever happened.

Just like that, the sour taste in his mouth was there again, the same taste that had made residency in him all these days. And with that he had to force himself into bed and into unconsciousness.

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><p>Rick woke the next morning, pale light pouring in through the open balcony door. There was a light chill in his room, the ocean sending a shiver down his spine. He laid in bed for a moment, letting his mind regroup before he dealt with the splintered reality of his marriage. But it was hard to even have a moment when it followed him around, a dark cloud over his head at all moments of the day. And just like that, he didn't want to be in the house anymore. It was a waste of time coming up here when he could feel the same exact sadness from the loft. He would leave within the hour.<p>

He pulled himself from the sheets, his caffeine levels dangerously low. It didn't take long before he realized he could already smell coffee wafting from the kitchen. He turned the last corner down the steps and saw Kate with a mug for herself and one on the counter, steam rising off both. Her bag was packed sitting near the door. He shuttered at the resemblance all these weeks later.

"You're up."

He turned his attention back to Kate. All he could do was nod.

"I made you a coffee." She offered him a small smile.

Castle nodded. "Thanks."

"How long are you staying?"

"I'm leaving as soon as I can."

There was no hesitation as she set her mug down and took a step towards him. "Castle, I want to come with you."

He closed his eyes and breathed out loudly. "Beckett."

"Rick, please." She cut him off. "I know I've been beyond awful. There's no excuse for my behavior. I was selfish and thoughtless and I regret it so much. I know you won't believe me, but I had no idea I had been gone so long. I got so caught up in my work that the days all ran together. The same thing happened when you were gone. Time wasn't even a factor until I looked at the days flying away. But I'm done with all of this." She took one more step towards him, her hands at her sides. "When I saw you last night, how much I've hurt you, it broke me. It showed me how bad of a wife I've been. I just hope you'll have the room in your heart to take me back."

"Kate."

She started quickly again. "I'm done chasing ghosts. I have too much to live for. I'm done with it, I _promise_ you." Tears blurred her vision as she spoke. She was truly done and she hoped he could see that.

"You put me through hell." It's all he could say at this point. He didn't really expect for her to flip the situation 180 overnight.

"I'm so sorry. I hate myself for doing that to you. If I could go back and fix anything, it would be that moment I left the loft." Kate wiped at her eyes as the tears began to flow.

Rick couldn't speak for a moment as he watched the tears stream down her face. He knew that she was truly sorry, but that didn't change the fact that she had something to apologize for. But on top of that, he wanted his wife back so damn bad.

"There's going to be some rules." He started slow, choosing his words carefully. "You have to tell me what you're doing and where you're going. You have to talk to me; communication. We're a team. And if anything else, no secrets. It's us now, not I, not you. Us. And I'm not saying everything's going to go back to normal as soon as we get back to the city. It's going to take time for this to work itself out."

"So I can come back?" Her eyes grew wider and she took yet another step towards him.

He nodded, "Yes, you can come back with me."

"Oh, God, Rick, thank you. I'm so sorry." She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him on the cheek.

He couldn't help himself as he enveloped her in his arms. He had missed this so much. He breathed in slowly, finally feeling himself relax after so long. It felt so good to have her here with him again. This wasn't going to be easy, not by a long shot. But as long as she was willing to change and fight for them to get back to where they were, he was willing to make the journey with her. They were in this, together.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	45. Chapter 45

**Hi there!**

**Prompt from TessHardingfan: Kate comes home from work to find the loft a war zone and has to line up her kids to give them a good chewing out... her husband included.**

**Note! I don't always do prompt requests in order so all requests will be up eventually.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Kate walked down the hall of the building, her head pounding. She had went into work early, her paperwork a literal giant on her desk. Being Captain was all paperwork all the time. So much so that she had to go in early most days before Castle even got out of bed. He usually showed up later, though, and helped with whatever case he could. But not this day. It had started snowing early in the morning. She was already at the precinct when the snow started sticking and it was 7:30 when they called off school. So that meant that Castle wouldn't be at the precinct with her that day. He would have to stay in the loft and hang out with the kids all day; his life was <em>so<em> hard. So Kate had to go about her entire day alone which was _not_ her favorite. Neither was winter, but that's a different story. Her day had been long and her patience short. All she wanted was to lay on the couch and drink a glass of wine in front of the fire.

She knew the moment she opened the door that that fantasy would never become a reality.

"You have got to be kidding me." She rolled her eyes and huffed out a breath. Before her was her loft, but not the quiet, organized, upscale loft that she normally walked into. No, this was laser tag, pillow fort, that better not be food, war zone. The lights stayed on in the kitchen, the ones in the living room and office were off. All the blinds were pulled tight. She swore she heard a blender going off somewhere in the house.

She took two long steps into the room, her heels clicking once, twice. Her mouth stood agape as she mechanically placed her keys in the dish and laid her bag near the closet. She kept the heels, though, she would need them.

She stole another step into the space, her facial expression not changing. "Oh that better not be jelly on my walls."

She could hear squealing from upstairs and pounding in her bedroom as the 'pews' from Rick's laser tag guns rang out. Before another sound found her ears, Kate made the call.

"Castle! Hayden! Harper! Blaine! Living room, now!" She rattled the names off of all three children and her husband; so technically all four. She rarely yelled, but there was enough edge in her voice that they would know she was serious.

All of a sudden, the loft fell silent. There was not one peep coming from any corner. No pews, no blender, not even a breath. The space stood still for a moment longer before she heard movement again.

"You said she wouldn't be home until six." Kate heard the voice of her oldest, Hayden, whisper from her bedroom.

"Shh!" Castle whispered back.

Slowly, her twins, Harper and Blaine tip toed slowly down the steps, their heads down. She gave them the look; her eyes narrow, one eyebrow raised. She folded her arms in front of her chest, standing tall, feet planted.

Both kids stood in front of her, eyes wide.

"No, you have to, too! Dad!" Hayden whispered again, shuffling feet accompanying him.

A moment later, a pair of arms shoved him into the open living room. He stumbled forward then regained his balance. The ten year old walked forward slowly, his arms behind his back. He lined up next to his brother and sister who didn't dare turn around to watch the debacle.

"Castle." Kate's voice rang out throughout the loft. She only had to wait a moment before her husband popped his head out from around the corner.

He took a step forward, his arms out. "I can explain."

"Uh uh. Here. Now." She pointed next to Blaine who still hadn't moved an inch. Harper played with a lock of her hair, her eyes down. Hayden still had his arms behind his back, his shoes seeming very interesting.

Castle slumped over to the line, his shoulders hunched forward just a bit.

"Okay, well now that I have all of you here, we're going to talk about why my house, that was perfectly clean when I left this morning, now looks like a bomb went off." She walked back over to the wall that had purple splats on it. "Now who wants to tell me why there's, what I hope is jelly, on my wall?"

Hayden raised his hand. "It was for the smoothie challenge during the obstacle course so we stayed hydrated."

Kate broke eye contact and stared at the wall behind her, blinking once. Then she looked at Castle, her expression blank. "Okay, explain."

He started quickly, talking with his hands. "Okay, well you see, we created an obstacle course. You start here, in the living room. There's two people on a team, obviously." He walked over to the skeleton of the couch, all of the cushions stacked meticulously. "Two people go through the cushion maze and then you run over to the kitchen to the string maze."

"Well I hadn't seen that when I walked in." Kate rolled her eyes again.

Castle smiled, "Cool, huh?"

"No."

"Okay, right, sorry, moving on. Then you run up the stairs to Blaine and Hayden's room. You make a gross smoothie for the other person to drink. That's the smoothie challenge. You drink it, and then you run to Harper's room. There you play hamper ball. You have to get five shots in the hamper before you run back downstairs and into the office."

She stopped him before he continued. Kate pointed at the wall again. "So how did this get down here?"

"I couldn't tell you. We get competitive." His eyes were wide, just as confused as she was.

She shook her head, still trying to figure out what exactly the goal of destroying her loft was. "Okay, so why are you playing laser tag in my bedroom?"

Harper piped up, then. "That's the last part of the obstacle course. The other two people play laser tag after their partner comes to the office. Whoever gets there first gets free shots and then when the other person gets there it's the real game. Whoever gets fifty points first wins."

Kate rubbed her forehead, her eyes closed.

"We were in the middle of our third game!" Blaine told her. "Best three out of five!"

"Blaine! Shh!" Castle hissed through clenched teeth, dragging a flat hand across his throat.

"Oh, right. I mean we just started." The little boy lied, terribly.

Kate walked back and forth across the line, her arms now behind her back. "So if I go and open that fridge, there's going to be food in it? And if I go upstairs, there's _not_ going to be smoothie splatter everywhere? And if I go into Harper's room, there's _not_ going to be clothes everywhere? And one more, if I go into the bedroom, my bed _is_ going to be made? Correct?"

Each kid glanced at the other and then shook their heads in unison, not exactly sure how to respond. "Probably if you ask again in, like ten minutes, you'll be correct." Hayden spoke out, his words carefully chosen.

"Hmm, okay, ten minutes. Cool." She stood still, scanning the room once more. "Hayden, you can go make the bed." She pointed towards the office.

He shrugged his shoulders and nodded his understanding.

"Blaine, you get to fix the couch and take down the maze in the kitchen."

He nodded as well.

"Harper, you can make sure your clothes are picked up."

"Okay, mommy." Kate's clone gave one, swift nod.

"Alright," Kate clapped her hands three times. "Get to work, troops." As her kids scurried off to put the loft back together, Kate turned to Rick who started to make off towards the kitchen. "Nope, not so fast." She stood in front of him, a hand on his chest. "You get the best job of all." She got dangerously close to him, her mouth just inches from his.

"You bet I do." Castle chirped.

Just as they were about to kiss, Kate stood back, a rag in her hand. "You get to clean up your marvelous smoothie challenge in the boy's room. Starting with my wall." She shoved the rag at him and raised her eyebrows up and down before making her way to the wine fridge.

"I deserved that." Castle argued, walking over to the wall.

Kate poured herself a glass of white wine and stood at the counter. Blaine came over from the living room, getting ready to untie all of the string. "Dad's going to be cleaning for a while." He giggled and then continued on.

Kate palmed the back of his head as he walked by, a grin on her face. She could already hear the other two getting done with their chores and coming back to where she was.

Rick was just starting to walk up the stairs to get the blender and clean up the food as his wife sat on the couch.

"Don't miss a spot." Kate looked at him and winked, a smirk on her face.

"Yeah, yeah." He waved the rag at her and proceeded to the top floor.

She moved over to the couch, the fire already burning. Hayden walked out of her room and Harper hopped down the steps. All three came and sat around her; Hayden in the chair next to her, Blaine sprawled out on the loveseat, and Harper snuggled into Kate's side. It wasn't exactly what she had expected to happen when she got home, but this was okay too.

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	46. Chapter 46

**Hi there!**

**Prompt from Shutterbug5269: AU after Veritas, Kate gets evidence that Bracken was framed for Johanna's murder. How does she handle it?**

*****Before you read 1.) I changed the prompt slightly from what was requested. 2.) This is insanely AU and alot of it doesn't fit, but it was a different perspective, so keep an open mind!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>She thought this was over. She thought her mind would finally be at ease. She thought that she would finally be able to lift the massive weights off her shoulders and live the life she had always dreamed of; the life she worked so hard to create. What sat in front of her proved her very, very wrong.<p>

Kate had returned home to the loft that night and found a package, addressed to her, sitting at the door. She didn't recognize the handwriting, no return address, and no shipping information. Someone had hand delivered. So she made her way inside and over to the kitchen where she placed the box on the counter and opened it carefully. Something about it seemed off, but curiosity won; it also killed the cat.

The first thing she pulled from the box was a long envelop letter with her name printed on the front in the same, blocky handwriting as the box. She set it aside and pulled out two manila envelops. One marked "pictures and newspapers", the other "evidence".

Kate's stomach flipped. Whatever this was was much bigger than she had anticipated. She started with the letter addressed to her. The seal hadn't been done so the paper slid easily from its home. It started;

_Kate,_

_We don't know each other. But you do know my husband. _

_You sent Senator William Bracken to prison on charges of fraud, conspiracy, and murder._

_He is innocent._

_Enclosed is everything you need to know._

_x._

His wife.

Kate immediately picked up the folder labeled "evidence" and spread the content on the counter. Each piece of paper held years and years of alibis, evidence, cover ups, lies, truths, scandals, murder.

She flipped through the first two pages, all of which were alibis for Senator Bracken starting from Johanna's murder, and ending just before his arrest.

The next three pages were government based documents. From what she could tell it was some sort of contract. Kate scanned the pages, pulling from it that it _was_ a contract, but not anything that she had expected. It looked government official, but there was no state seal. The wording was off, and it was clearly too short. This wasn't Bracken's official in. At the bottom of the last page was Bracken's signature with the date. January 23, 1999.

Two weeks after Johanna was killed.

She went back to the beginning of the contract and read every single word. When she had finally done so for the third time, it finally dawned on her that this was some sort of insider organization that Bracken had become a part of.

She went back to the alibis and looked at the only date that mattered. January 9, 1999, Bracken was in D.C. for a convention. He hadn't even been in New York? But she had checked it, he had been. But what she was reading told her otherwise. With the alibi was a plane ticket, hotel bill, and credit card info.

The next document in the stack was an email between Bracken and what seemed to be a higher up. There was no discernable email address, and considering it was dated from the 90's, there was little to no chance in tracking it. It was dated to three days before the contract was signed. The text was short, no fancy words or professional scrawl.

_You're in way over your head. If you don't sign that contract I'll burry you for it. You either work for me or you're done before you even start. That's a promise._

It wasn't signed.

The next couple of pages were more emails, none of which included Bracken. Kate buzzed through it, sequences of words catching her eye.

_pin it on bracken_

_drug ring_

_out of the country_

_murder the bitch_

_he won't know any better_

_no one will ever know_

If what she was reading was true, she really had been in over her head. And she still was. Bracken was framed. He was drug into this by someone higher up. Someone more powerful and more evil than he ever had been. This was huge.

There's a moment of sheer and utter panic. Bracken didn't do it. She had sent an innocent man to prison. She had destroyed someone's life as someone had hers.

Guilt flooded every corner of her body. Kate leaned on the counter, her legs shaking. She slowly lowered herself to the ground, sitting on the kitchen floor. Her eyes were fixed on the cabinet as she tried to think of some possible way that this was fake. But all the evidence she needed was right her in front of her; a little brown package all tied up with string. And she knew, deep down in her gut that if she continued through this rabbit hole of a box, she would find even more that Bracken was innocent in the murder of Johanna Beckett. Her gut never lied.

Yes, he was still guilty of the conspiracy and fraud, but he had been set up by someone who was so much more powerful and more concealed than Bracken ever had been.

Kate knew there was only one thing she could do. She had to make things right. She had to go back through all of this pain and suffering and help the man she so desperately wanted put away to begin with.

So she picked herself up off of the kitchen floor, put her hands behind her head and took a deep breath, held it, and let it go slowly. She wound her hair into a ponytail and stood before the evidence again.

Time to make things right. Time to get to work.

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><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**xoxo**


	47. Chapter 47

**Hi there!**

**Prompt is based on "Hello" by Adele.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"Hello?"<p>

There's a shaky inhale on her end of the line. It's the first time he's picked up when she's called. It's the first time she's heard his voice in almost three years. "Hello? It's me."

"What do you want?" He's stark, cold. This is already killing him, though; his heart had begun to shatter the moment her name flashed on the caller ID. The raw emotion flooding his body; it's something he hasn't felt in a long time.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" There's some static so she takes a step to the right and cover's her exposed ear.

He works with her, desperate to hear her, but not desperate enough to drop the ice lining his voice. "No, no, better."

"I'm in California, decided I needed to get away, but I'm flying home tomorrow. I was wondering if we could meet to talk, maybe? It's been awhile." She had spent much of the last year traveling, never settling. She couldn't stop, couldn't let herself get comfortable. If she did, the separation became all too real.

She retired far earlier than she ever anticipated; far earlier than anyone had ever anticipated. Once she had finally solved the mystery, had closed the file, had gone home, she found herself completely alone. She hadn't noticed the divide she had caused until that gap was so large that no one was left, including her husband. She had done this to herself. She pushed everyone away just like she always had. Nothing ever changed.

Castle coughed, trying to sound casual. "I'm not living in the city anymore."

"You're not?"

"I moved out to the Hamptons house. I've had some health stuff come up. It's been nice being away from all of the craziness in the city." He walked over to the door facing the ocean, staring directly at the two lawn chairs in the middle of the yard. He bowed his head, not able to look.

"Health stuff? What _stuff_?" She's panicking as she stands on the sidewalk, chewing her nails.

"I'm fine. Don't worry." He downplayed a lot of what was going on. Yes, he had been going through health things; high cholesterol and his bad knee was acting up, but he had initially moved out of the city for one reason. Her. Diagnosis: broken heart.

He couldn't bear to sit in the loft any longer. It was easy at first when she had first initially. She was still around and he would pop into the precinct from time to time. There's was always the casual hookup when neither of them could stand the tension any longer. But then she stopped coming around all together. The calls stopped, the texts ceased to exist, and Castle's presence at the precinct vanished. Then, finally, after countless sleepless nights, he mailed the divorce papers to her. Seven days later, they were returned to him; signed. They had written off their marriage so casually. The sad truth was that it was just as easy to sign the marriage license as it was to sign the divorce papers.

"No, seriously, you're having health problems?"

"Kate, its fine." He cut her off.

She can hear the hatred in his voice. She can barely remember what his voice sounds like when it's not laced with poison. It's been such a long time since they were on good terms. She decides to change the subject in an effort to get him to talk to her. "I've called a couple of times before this, but you're never home when I do."

He's not backing down. He can't do it without the bitter reality crushing him yet again. "It's been 5 years since the divorce. And I've barely heard from you since then."

"I know, I'm sorry. Time kind of got away from me." She bites her lip, trying to anticipate what he'll say next.

"Beckett, why are you calling me?" There's a wall between them. A divide so enormous that it feels like he doesn't even know her, never did. She's a distant memory, a face in a dream, an alternate universe.

She runs a shaky hand through her short, choppy locks. Her left hand is bare, the gold band long since gone. "I just wanted to talk."

"I'm over it." He shrugs his shoulders.

"Rick, you know it was never my intentions for any of this to happen. I just."

He cuts her off again, suddenly filled with rage. "Yeah, well it did and you can't take it back. You know what? _I'm_ sorry. I'm sorry for all of the time I wasted. I'm sorry I was such a burden to your life. I fought tooth and nail for five years to get you and then you go and leave? I put my entire being into us and you betrayed me. I trusted you, and you ruined everything. You put everything that was important to _you_ in front of _our_ relationship. You were my whole world. You broke my heart, Kate."

"I'm sorry." Tears stream down her face. She hadn't felt so alone until this very moment. "I'm so sorry."

There is a pause, and then a slow, deep breath. Tears run down his face as he pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to keep it together. His next words come out broken up by a sob. "Goodbye, Beckett."

Then, there was a click and the receiver went dead.

She held the phone to her ear another moment as her face was flooded with tears. Life around her continued to exist, but her world had fully stopped. She had never felt more alone than she did right now.

Everything she had ever wanted, thrown out the window. For what?

All she wanted was her life back. She wanted the loft and cappuccino machines and her partners. She wanted wine nights and murder boards and New York. She wanted to run after a suspect in four inch heels. She wanted the passionate nights and the mystical mornings. She wanted Chinese takeout and conspiracy theories. She wanted shower show tunes and savory kisses. She wanted her husband. _Ex_-husband.

Her weak attempt at mending all those things back into a dynamic life had failed miserably, and she was the only one to blame. It was in that moment that she realized there was nothing she could do.

He was gone.

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